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AIBU or is DH? Nipples!

(31 Posts)
HtotheS Mon 29-Oct-12 22:02:41

Since having DD a year ago I can't bare having my nipples touched/licked/tweaked!

He basically can't go anywhere near them, it makes me cringe

I breastfed and him touching reminds me of latching on and how painful it used to be at times

DH gets rather cross (frustrated) that he can't get his hands on them!

I need to get over my touching phobia!!

slowgin Mon 29-Oct-12 22:06:30

yanbu. if it hurts then tell him to stop.

HtotheS Mon 29-Oct-12 22:07:50

It doesn't hurt I just don't want him to go anywhere near! Even gentle licking makes me cringe!!!!!

fluffypillow Mon 29-Oct-12 22:07:55

If you don't like it, he shouldn't do it.

YANBU.

Sprite21 Mon 29-Oct-12 22:08:44

I can't say it bothers me post -breastfeeding, but it's your body so you make the rules. And I can see why it might bother you. YANBU.
That being said, I think it's important to establish intimacy again after a baby. But that doesn't have to involve nipples.

GhostShip Mon 29-Oct-12 22:09:31

I can see where this is going to go...

Tell him to stop being a soft git, frustrated at not being able to touch your nipples?! It's not like you're a nipple on a stick, I'm sure you've got lots of other parts he can feel if you want him to

My DP isn't a boob man which I'm glad off. Hate having them mauled

Naghoul Mon 29-Oct-12 22:10:46

I don't like it either.

My DH does things to me that I like. He wouldn't do something if I wasn't getting off on it.

ToManyDicksOnTheDancefloor Mon 29-Oct-12 22:11:18

I had this problem after breast feeding. Not due to pain, more that it reminded me of breastfeeding, which is not sexy. I am currently 36 weeks pregnant and love having my nipples touched again, very strange.

WelshMaenad Mon 29-Oct-12 22:11:31

I don't like having my breasts touched at all, never have. DH hasn't died of it.

They are your breasts, just tell him to find another bit of you to play with!

fluffypillow Mon 29-Oct-12 22:12:43

Just to add, I'm still b'fing two years down the line, and I DO still like DH having a 'fiddle'blush. He, on the otherhand is much more cautious these days (think he is worried he'll get a faceful of the white stuffgrin)

HtotheS Mon 29-Oct-12 22:12:55

Thanks for your comments

I wish I could get over it!!

BreakfastwithMrsBarderbedian Mon 29-Oct-12 22:12:59

Yanbu

He needs to get inventive.

HappyJustToBe Mon 29-Oct-12 22:15:07

They're yours. Not his. YANBU.

lucyellenmum Mon 29-Oct-12 22:16:14

Sometimes i cannot BEAR to have my nipples touched, other times i like it, there is no rhyme nor reason to it, but i can become murderous if he gets it wrong grin

Seriously though, if you don't like it, he doesn't do it, its that simple!

HtotheS Mon 29-Oct-12 22:16:53

Is it worth going to the doctors???

MrsCantSayAnything Mon 29-Oct-12 22:20:36

I have always been like that OP....for the whole of my adult life. I actually couldn't breast feed because of it. No man has EVER been able to get near them.

I don't know why....anyone who comes near them is likely to be at risk of a clack round the head.

HeadlessForHalloween Mon 29-Oct-12 22:24:40

Sometimes I can't bear mine being touched, no reason, other times I love it! I just guide dh elsewhere when I'm not in the mood. If he got arsy about it he wouldn't be getting anything !

JazzAnnNonMouse Mon 29-Oct-12 22:26:49

It bothers me since breastfeeding too!

VoterColonelSebastianDoyle Mon 29-Oct-12 22:28:43

Having my nipples played with at all doesnt turn me on in the slightest. Really doesnt do anything for me! Ive told dp he still plays with then but it doesnt bother me.

honeytea Mon 29-Oct-12 22:29:39

They are your nipples you decide what happens to them. Tell him to go and play with his own nipples if he is so desperate for some nipple tweaking.

I'm 34 weeks pregnant and loved my nipples being played with until recently, now milk comes out of them if I accidentally brush my top on them so no sucking/tweaking here sad

latenightmum Mon 29-Oct-12 22:31:43

you need to discuss it with a therapist as it doesn't sound like you are able to mentally separate breastfeeding challenging memories with sexual breast intimacy. Tell him you have a problem and you're seeking help. Like the other ladies said direct him to other parts. I would be mortified if dh gave up on seeing my breasts in a sexual way after 4 kids, but if yours are off limits he needs to know.

Haggisfish Mon 29-Oct-12 22:36:43

I feel a bit like this, and am hoping it wears off in about three years time, after sprog 2 and another two years BF! I 'get around' it by wearing a sexy bra in bed - I feel sexy, DH can still fondle and squeeze and finds it attractive, so a win win all round. I found it got better when my periods and ovulating returned last time - have yours come back yet?

BertieBotts Mon 29-Oct-12 22:45:38

I had this after/during breastfeeding, it went away though. DS is 4 and I can't get enough of it now blush but it's still excruciatingly irritating if they're touched at the wrong time, or if for whatever reason I'm not up for it.

Honey in my experience milk flow doesn't tend to happen when you're turned on, so might be worth trying?

honeytea Tue 30-Oct-12 09:34:11

Thanks for the tip Bertie smile I think my dp might be a little nervous if milk does come, too much of a reminder of the baby in my tummy.

OneOfMyTurnsComingOn Tue 30-Oct-12 09:35:59

I was the same after DD2. She was about 18 months before he could go near them, but it still has to be when I wanted it. He has been fine with it.

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