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AIBU?

To hate MIL's dog?

84 replies

waitingimpatiently · 29/10/2012 21:02

My MIL has some form of dog. They think it's a jack russell but no one is too sure.

Anyway, she is horrid, she is poorly socialised, jumps on the couch / knees / dining table (!!!) as and when she pleases, and the family just accept this as 'what dogs do'.

The thing that truly winds me up though, is when this vile creature snaps at my DD. She has never actually bitten to break the skin but she mouths at her in a vicious way. Now, I teach my DD to respect animals, we have a dog who you could probably beat around and she'd still come back for a cuddle, but naturally, dogs are animals and unpredictable and need to be treated with respect. I feel my DD does nothing inappropriate to this dog yet the dog still snaps at her, but to top it off MIL does nothing to stop this. She doesn't shout, remove the dog from the room, in fact, she doesn't say anything at all (and this was the woman who had the cheek to tell us that our soft daft dog was likely to attack our DD...)

Last time this happened my DD got quite upset, she's only 2, started crying and said 'doggy hurt me' which tore me apart.

Is this ok?! I know its her dog, her house, her rules, but surely she shouldn't allow her animal to snap at her granddaughter?! WWYD?!

OP posts:

Report

Imnotaslimjim · 29/10/2012 21:06

I'd be removing the dog from the room myself! Upsetting your DD is not just "what dogs do" I'd have to have a word

HeinousHecate · 29/10/2012 21:07

I would not take my daughter round there and I'd tell her why. And say that she can come round to mine - without the dog. Or meet in a neutral place. But that I wasn't letting my child near a dog that snaps at her and tough shit if she doesn't like it

WelshMaenad · 29/10/2012 21:14

My inlaws have a very similar dog!! Same part jack Russell and everything, but it's male. It's snapped and bitten GFIL several time requiring stitches.

My kids go NOWHERE near it. They live some distance away, I have refused to ever take the kids to visit them as I know they won't respect my request that the dog be kennelled for our visit. When they visit, it us not permitted in my house. When we go out, I will not allow them to bring it within sniffing distance of my kids. They've stopped bringing it down now.

I love animals, love dogs, but I loathe this thing because they have spoiled it. It's pretty old now, I cannot wait for the fucking thing to due do they stop whining about "poor dog not being allowed to visit".

Stop taking your child there until your MIL agrees to keep the menacing thing away from her. Stand your ground. You don't want her ending up bitten or terrified of dogs!!

2rebecca · 29/10/2012 21:18

her house, her rules, your daughter you choose when and for how long to visit.

Some0ne · 29/10/2012 21:21

This is obviously a standard issue PIL dog. Mine have a Maltese with similar problems. When it chases my cats and frightens the wits out of them, or bites small children (not mine - yet!), they laugh. It has received no training at all, and while I'm sure that, given the right owners, it could be a reasonably nice dog, I hate the dratted thing as it is now.

The worst of it is that not matter how blunt I am, I can't get the message through to them that it's not welcome in my house. They just can't process the idea that anyone could possibly find the yappy, snappy, non-housetrained little rat endearing. Instead they bring it up, let it torment the cats and frighten the children, and complain if the cats' food bowl is left out in the kitchen because the little monster might eat it - it has to be given some of the lovely roast chicken that I was hoping to feed DH and I off for the next 3 days.

Grrrr.

WelshMaenad · 29/10/2012 21:24

Some0ne - next time they bring it, take it outside and tie it up. TELL THEM that it is not permitted in your home to torment your pets and children any more, and could they not bring it again as tying it in the garden is unfair. Fucking stand up to them! Who the hell thinks its ok to take their pets out visiting??

Whoknowswhocares · 29/10/2012 21:24

Tell the mil straight. Either the dog is kept COMPLETELY away from where your daughter is at all times, or you will not be visiting at all

loubielou31 · 29/10/2012 21:25

My DDs first encounters with dogs were with small, barky, yappy jack russell type dogs. It has taken months of being around calm, well behaved (and actually very big) dogs for them to be happy and not scared around them any more.
YANBU

Viperidae · 29/10/2012 21:26

I hate all dogs so am not unbiased on this but I would not allow the dog near your DD if you have reservations about trusting it.

Whoknowswhocares · 29/10/2012 21:26

Someone - why let them over the doorstep with it? Your house , your rules. If they insist on bringing the dog to your doorstep, then they don't get let in, simple

Everlong · 29/10/2012 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 29/10/2012 21:29

Not take her there tbh. The dog sounds loopy, and therefore, unpredictable.
I swear to goodness, is it going to take a hole in your dd's face to unmuddy the waters here?

I rehomed my much loved (but nervy and skittish) lab cross dog, after he snapped at our dd once.
I knew I could never reliably leave them alone together again, as she had not provoked it at all.
I felt I had been warned, and to not take heed would make me a very very sorry mother indeed if she (or any of the children) got hurt after that.

If she won't shut it away safely, then don't go.

Some0ne · 29/10/2012 21:30

I can't bring myself to. The whole family would hate me (and there are a lot of them) and DH would never back me up against his parents.

apostropheuse · 29/10/2012 21:30

I had a Jack Russell and he did similar to my oldest grandchild. I then kept him in the kitchen when she was around - until he got a place with Dogs Trust. They rehomed him to a house with no young children. He was fine with older teenagers and adults.

Protect your daughter at all cost. Why should she be at risk of being mauled because of their stupidity? If it means you don't take her to their home, so be it. Also tell them the dog isn't welcome in yours.

waitingimpatiently · 29/10/2012 21:34

Its the same here some0ne. DH will have a good bitch out of ear shot but if I suggested he actually told her anything we'd spoken about he'd go all cats bum face.
Plus, I feel like I can't not go to visit as I essentially took him off her (or this is how she makes me feel) as he moved 40 miles away to live in my hometown rather than me live in theirs... She tells me off if I speak to him in any other manner befitting a husband from his wife.

OP posts:

RabidCarrot · 29/10/2012 21:34

Stop taking your DD to your MILs house, her dog sounds terrible

pictish · 29/10/2012 21:36

Your mil sounds a treasure.
What does your dh say about the horrible little dog?

AdoraBell · 29/10/2012 21:37

I'd take DD to the GP to get her hand looked at. I know it's not damaged, but if DD can tell the Dr what granny's dog is doing then granny may just have to do something about it.

We have 4 German Shepherds, they don't mouth any humans because they know not to. If you don't go the DR route then push the dog away from DD as soon as it approaches, making sure you are between it and DD in case it does bite. While pushing, not gently stroking, either tell it NO in a strong voice, or whatever works for you. My dogs respond to Oi, because I do it so well, and if I revert to NO they know they've crossed the line. That's if you take DD there again, I wouldn't.

lucyellenmum · 29/10/2012 21:37

I have a deep down mistrust of people who dislike dogs. Its their dog, its up to them what they do with it, teach your DD to leave him alone. Its not rocket science. It is not OK for children to maul dogs around, your MIL dog clearly doesn't want to be touched so tell your DD not to touch him. Obviously if the dog is approaching your dd and biting that is a very different story, otherwise YABU

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 29/10/2012 21:39

As a lifelong dog loather, I would say keep your DD away from this vile creature. If your MIL prefers her dog to her granddaughter, then that is her lookout. Actually, your MIL sounds like a person to avoid. 40 miles away is not Outer Mongolia. And Iw ould not be being told off by my MIL EVER.

pictish · 29/10/2012 21:43

lucy what evidence do you have to suggest the OP's dd 'mauls' the dog? In fact, the OP tells us that her dd has been taught to respect animals and behaves appropriately.

There are some animal-y people that fall over themselves to take the dog's side.
Is that you?

AdoraBell · 29/10/2012 21:43

someone

If you can't repel the visiors and their menace, don't cook roast fucking chicken when they visit. Get frozen pizzas in serve those instead.

lucyellenmum · 29/10/2012 21:43

The dog does not sound terrible, it sounds like a dog that is not used to children pulling it around. Once as a vet nurse i had to assist in the euthanasia of two lovely labradors because they growled at the grand children when they visisted . I'll never forget it, they were the loveliest dogs - i was livid, just put the dogs in the garden when the children visit, train the children to treat animals with respect and allow them their space, crate train if you have to, but no, it was easier for these people to put two pets to sleep just to suit their lifestyle, it makes my blood boil!!!

pictish · 29/10/2012 21:45

pulling it around

Why do you think she is pulling it around? Some dogs are little fucksticks through lack of training and intelligence. A bit like this one.

lucyellenmum · 29/10/2012 21:45

The OP says she feels the DD does nothing inappropraite to the dog which suggests to me that she doesn't, in fact, leave the dog alone, don't touch it, end of. If the dog then bites, as i believe i stated, that is a different matter.

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