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To wonder the best method to ...

19 replies

EagleRiderDirk · 29/10/2012 19:18

... Cook a 5 week old baby boy.

After all, I have just rubbed him in a good coating of olive oil [hwink]

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WereTricksPotter · 29/10/2012 19:32

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NoToastWithoutKnickers · 29/10/2012 19:34

Mine never stayed still long enough to get a thorough coating

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GouhlishGordonsAaaaahlive · 29/10/2012 19:35

Have you pricked him all over with a fork? And 20 mins per lb, plus an extra 20 should do it...

I haven't thought about this at all...

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WereTricksPotter · 29/10/2012 19:35

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Funnyone · 29/10/2012 19:39

My DS always wanted to roast our dd in the oven after a good coating of massage olive oil!!

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DawnOfTheDee · 29/10/2012 19:40

Add some herbs and leave him to marinate for a while first. Then he'll be all nice and tender.....

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gordyslovesheep · 29/10/2012 19:43

I prefer cooing over an open fire - lovely

lots of salt for really good crackling [hgrin]

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gordyslovesheep · 29/10/2012 19:44

cooking!

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Halfway · 29/10/2012 20:06

I'm going to make one post here, and then I'm going to leave it, because I refuse to keep letting myself get drawn into this.

I'm posting on this thread as well as my own, because I am not stupid, and know jolly well which "stupid cannibal thread" you are referring to amongst your jokes.

I'm posting because what you do when you make fun of people like me has a very real effect (I know because I'm feeling it right now), and it also has a knock-on effect in that people like me feel they have nowhere to turn where they won't be laughed at (other than equally messed up people).

I don't have a 'normal' thinking mind.

I don't have a normal thinking mind because I was abused from a very young age by a man who both beat me and told me he loved me.

He loved me so much that he crawled into bed with me at night and made me feel disgusting about myself and hurt me, and then told me I shouldn't have done that.

I had nowhere to turn then, and so I began turning to anything I could that would numb the pain, which included stealing his alcohol in the beginning, and accepting drugs from other people when I got older.

This led to me becoming addicted to drugs (anything I could get my hands on, but ultimately, and then mostly heroin), and doing all manner of disgusting and deviant things to get what I needed to feed my habit. If you want an example of what is real in the world, and what I was actively involved in, google scat, google bdsm, and sadomasochism. I was involved in all of those things from an early age (starting from puberty).

I was humiliated, and beaten, and mind-fucked until I very nearly lost my mind and any semblance of sanity or grounding. I came to believe that I was evil, that the world was evil, that everyone was out to hurt me, that I was being punished by God, and all manner of horrible things, because I couldn't make sense of my life and what was happening to me.

Eventually I made my way out (over 20 years now).

I began to realise that not everyone in the world was as messed up as the people I had known and associated with my whole life.

I began to cling onto these people like the life-preservers that they were.

I went to the GP. I got put on a program. I got put on anti-depressants. I got referred to counselling. Life started to get brighter, I got a job, I signed up for an NVQ course (because I had no school qualifications), and from there was able to get a diploma, and then a degree. And then a better job.

I began to reach out and try and make some better friends, because I was still surrounded by people who thought in messed up ways and were trying to drag me back down into their way of thinking.

I made some better friends, and kept some old ones (whom I loved too much to abandon).

I learned to ask for help when I felt like I was drowning, and to seek out good, healthy, kind people... even though they often found/find me abhorrent because I am not like them.

I forget to reveal this sort of thing about myself before I post, because occasionally I forget that I am not a very 'normal' person, and I forget that 'normal' people simply won't know what to make of me.

I'm here to tell you that it hurts to be reminded of that.

It hurts to look for help and be laughed at as ridiculous. It hurts because it makes me feel all over again like I am flawed intrinsically somehow, and can never fit in with you cool 'normal' folks.

If you really can't believe me, then fair enough, but please do not throw it in my face.

Please do not do that because it makes me afraid to approach people like you, and places like Mumsnet because of the judgement and mocking I will have to face.

Not just me, but people like me.

My plea is real, and I am powerless to make you do anything. It is up to you whether you choose to hear or not, but I am begging you to.

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Desiren · 29/10/2012 20:09

Anyway back to recipe corner!

20 minutes a pound you say

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Graciescotland · 29/10/2012 20:16

I was forever coating DS in olive oil when he was tiny, I even used to use cotton balls dipped in olive oil to clean out the creases! An indian friend used to use coconut oil on her DD who smelt delicious most of the time