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to reassure my friend SW will not automatically try to take her daughter's expected baby just because she gets DLA for Asperger's

(13 Posts)
Isabeller Sun 28-Oct-12 15:24:59

Her daughter is 22yo, 31w preg and is married. Unfortunately daughter and husband have each had to return to respective Mums' homes after their studio flat tenancy ended and are trying everything to find somewhere before the baby arrives. Daughter's husband is working hard at legal training plus half time job so v low income atm but good prospects long term.

Friend is worried that Social Workers will try to take the baby when it is born because of daughter's Asperger's diagnosis despite no family history of anything untoward. Daughter will have lots of support from sisters and extended family and is totally focussed on learning about babies so I think it would be crazy for SW to try to remove but it is making all of them reluctant to ask for help of any kind.

Am I being naive?

TheBigJessie Sun 28-Oct-12 15:27:00

Well, let's just say that no-one's tried to take mine away. Does that help?

DozyDuck Sun 28-Oct-12 15:27:43

Surely not? There are many fully functioning autistic adults with children who are fab parents

gordyslovesheep Sun 28-Oct-12 15:28:14

why would social services even be aware ?

JazzAnnNonMouse Sun 28-Oct-12 15:28:35

I see no reason why they would get involved unless asked.
<unprofessional opinion>

Devora Sun 28-Oct-12 15:29:50

YANBU, Isabeller. Of course, I don't know your friend's dd, but if she has lots of family support and a steady partner and is willing to accept appropriate help, I can't imagine ss will be interested.

Do YOU think she can be a good enough parent? If you do, I'm sure they will.

Spero Sun 28-Oct-12 15:30:01

Has anyone made a referral? If midwife/Health Visitor/hospital is worried about how she would cope, they have to make a referral.

If no one is worried enough to refer, then I can't see how she would come to their attention.

If there has been a referral then with a supportive family around her I do not think she jas any reason to worry. SW do not want take children away unless there is no other choice.

Contrary to the views expressed by various Internet fools they don't be paid extra if they take babies. A foster placement can cost up to £40k per year so most cash strapped LAs leave children far too long in abusive situations, IMO.

I think she should try to relax and get what ever help is offered.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda Sun 28-Oct-12 15:30:45

I have Aspergers, as does my daughter. I raised her pretty much single handedly with very little input from ss, despite me begging them for more support. I don't think your friends daughter has anything to worry about providing she takes care of her baby, just as it is for anyone else really.

CommanderShepard Sun 28-Oct-12 16:01:44

My husband has Asperger's and I had ante and postnatal anxiety. Nary a whiff from social services.

It really really doesn't follow that those with Asperger's are bad parents; I was in hospital for over a week before and after giving birth and the midwives were quite keen on trying to get DH to consider a career change by the end of it as he took so well to being a birth partner and subsequently baby wrangling grin

FolkGhoul Sun 28-Oct-12 18:08:26

SS won't even know your daughter exists unless a referral is made. smile

Isabeller Sun 28-Oct-12 19:13:47

I am so grateful for all these replys. I personally have lots of confidence in her and her husband. I can understand my friend worrying and want to do all I can to be supportive but you have all made me feel much more confident in my own point of view. Thank you.

kilmuir Sun 28-Oct-12 19:19:02

blimey, what a crazy world we live in if they did.
my nephew is a lawyer, married and has a young baby. he also has Aspergers. him and his wife needed no more support than any other first time parents

SirBoobAlot Sun 28-Oct-12 19:24:18

There seems to be a theory that social services turn up and take away babies just because they can. sad

For what its worth, I have a severe mental health condition. SS were involved when I was pregnant due to a spell in a mental health unit in the previous year. They were nothing but supportive, and the case was closed after one brief five minute visit after DS was born. So they may not be involved at all, and if they are, it doesn't mean they will come storming in to baby snatch.

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