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To end a long friendship

(107 Posts)
Whistlingwaves Sun 28-Oct-12 09:30:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sparkletastic Sun 28-Oct-12 09:33:03

Tell her straight and send her back home - her parents can pay for her. She is a womanchild and you have reached the end of your friendship.

WhoNickedMyName Sun 28-Oct-12 09:35:55

Didn't you post another thread about the train fare issue? And yet you STILL went and collected her and paid her fare to get back to your house?

I think your friend is massively taking the piss and you just need to be less of a mug, very blunt, and tell her to leave. If you don't want to continue the friendship then you have no need to sugar coat anything. You don't need to be nasty, just honest.

EdsRedeemingQualities Sun 28-Oct-12 09:37:56

No, you don't - she sounds awful!

I'm not sure how you could best get rid though - can you think of an excuse like you have to go away suddenly, or something? Then avoid any further visits, like, forever?

I would want to thump her.

Whistlingwaves Sun 28-Oct-12 09:39:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sokmonsta Sun 28-Oct-12 09:39:47

I remember your previous thread too if its the one about paying her fare to you. I'd seriously consider asking her to leave. You cannot afford her to be there and it may upset your dd too much to if she knew you had things planned and you are now unable to do them. Either that or put up with it this week, take it as lesson learnt and be busy/unavailable in future when she wants to visit if she cannot take constructive criticism that her behaviour is not appropriate around children.

lovebunny Sun 28-Oct-12 09:40:38

i think you need to send her home. tell her you aren't happy with the situation and you want her to leave. if she asks why, just tell her what you said in your post - she's swearing and talking sex to your child.

sweetiepie1979 Sun 28-Oct-12 09:42:02

End of the line she hasn't grown up. Not a good friend for your daughter to see you with. Ask her to leave or stick out week and be miserable. She should realise at some point in the next few years that she has been a aim in the arse

SeraphinaSparklePants Sun 28-Oct-12 09:42:15

You don't sound awful-you've just outgrown each other. You're probably going to have to be straight with her regarding the money. She shouldn't have turned up unable to pay her way. Can you get through the next week and keep her at arms length after that (obviously not forking out for things you're unable to afford)?

OHforDUCKScake Sun 28-Oct-12 09:42:16

Did you post about her the other day?

She sounds in cloud cookoo land. Lots of my friends had babies before me, but I still managed to behave appropriately and not expect them to buy my train fares.

For now, put your foot down. You're too skint to go and thats final. Stop winding DD up, and stop swearing in front of her (this is to her not you obv) grit your teeth get through the week and dont see her again.

LaLaGabby Sun 28-Oct-12 09:43:42

YANBU.

But, if you think the friendship is worth saving, maybe a week together, doing things that are appropriate for your dd, will help her understand how to behave with your dd and children in general better?

ENormaSnob Sun 28-Oct-12 09:44:26

She sounds awful.

Get rid.

WhoNickedMyName Sun 28-Oct-12 09:47:12

"ex-friend I'm going to have to ask you to leave. Your behaviour last night with my DD, swearing and talking about sex was completely inappropriate. I don't want you around her any more. On top of that you have turned up with no money to pay your own way and I can't afford to have you here any longer. I'd like you to leave now please. Can you post me the money you owe me ASAP".

Straight to the point, not nasty just factual, job done.

NotMostPeople Sun 28-Oct-12 09:48:39

I'd stick to saying a firm no nonsense no to everything that you don't want to do or is inappropriate. So when she says let go to blah, you just say No it's expensive and boring for DD. when she swears in front of your child you say 'look you need to stop swearing in front of DD, I don't like it'. I bet within a short time she'll start moaning and then you say that this is the way you live your life and if she doesn't want to toe the line she need to go.

Whistlingwaves Sun 28-Oct-12 09:50:53

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania Sun 28-Oct-12 09:58:48

She sounds awful an immature. I would be straight, frank and assertive, and when she leaves don't contact her

pigletmania Sun 28-Oct-12 10:01:11

Send her packing, you don't want her friendship anyway, so what have you got to loose

Betterthedrivelyouknow Sun 28-Oct-12 10:01:37

Your friend is in her mid thirties and wants to go on trips to take pictures of 'celebrities' homes?! Never mind the other stuff, that right there is grounds for Instant dismissal!

tallwivglasses Sun 28-Oct-12 10:02:21

She is a stalky weirdo. Dump her, you don't even have to be nice about it.

Athendof Sun 28-Oct-12 10:12:23

I would say that she is x years old and can't expect for otger people to pick up the bill to jeep her entertained, that you have now different financial commitments and that you don't appreciate spending your money doing things of no interest to you.

I would also put emphasis on how irresponsible and taughtless she was in showing up withouth money, and get her a taxi back to the station (i'll pay the taxi fare for her to sort her travel problems away of myself)

Athendof Sun 28-Oct-12 10:13:59

Taughtless? Gosh! Thoughtless even!

And don't feel guilty about it, you are not the meanie, you are the victim standing up for yourself!

TheProvincialLady Sun 28-Oct-12 10:16:45

"Good morning X. You need to go and pack your things now because I can't have people around my daughter who talk inappropriately with her, and I have neither the money nor the inclination to entertain you like a lovesick 14 year old for the remainder of the week. Here is the taxi fare to the station, I don't expect to see it or you again."

I had to kick someone out of my house once and it was really odd, but the person being kicked out finds it harder and more mortifying than the kicker, so just get on with it and enjoy the rest of your week.

Whistlingwaves Sun 28-Oct-12 10:26:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whistlingwaves Sun 28-Oct-12 10:28:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pigletmania Sun 28-Oct-12 10:30:13

Look whistling you don't want frienship with her, she behaved appealingly to your dd, what more do you need. Ok then tell her that she is going to those places ALONE, stand up to her. After she shoes have nothing to do with het

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