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To be really upset...?

(25 Posts)
MrsWolowitz Sun 28-Oct-12 08:58:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaLaGabby Sun 28-Oct-12 09:01:45

YANBU.

Either your friend doesn't know/understand what you're going through (a lot of people don't 'get' depression unfortunately) or she isn't a very good friend.

ChickenFillet Sun 28-Oct-12 09:03:13

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MrsWolowitz Sun 28-Oct-12 09:06:56

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GhostShip Sun 28-Oct-12 09:07:09

No you don't need to get a grip, its her that needs to do that!!

Don't cry, is there any family or another friend? Have you spoken to your husband about how you feel?

hugs x

MrsWolowitz Sun 28-Oct-12 09:08:58

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ChickenFillet Sun 28-Oct-12 09:10:00

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ChickenFillet Sun 28-Oct-12 09:12:17

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Backtobedlam Sun 28-Oct-12 09:17:01

It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. Maybe plans have changed and she's not annoyed at you at all? She's still popping in for a bit isn't she, so hopefully you can clear the air and feel better about it all afterwards. Friendships are complicated but you are definately not in the wrong.

MrsMiniversCharlady Sun 28-Oct-12 09:19:28

She doesn't sound much of a friend tbh.

Can you make a plan for the day? Cut it into bite sized chunks of activity so it doesn't seem so daunting?

Everlong Sun 28-Oct-12 09:20:54

Is it raining where you are?

I know it's effort and you won't want to but if it's dry, wrap them up, make a flask, grab some biscuits, malt loaf, scones or whatever and get them to a park.

Let them run around for a while.

A long time ago I had 3 dc aged 4, 3 and a baby and I remember how bloody hard it was. I got sad too. It's hard.

But just getting outside in the fresh air does something, it helps even a tiny bit.

Staying in with them will make you feel worse. And them.

WhoNickedMyName Sun 28-Oct-12 09:23:08

Maybe she'd booked a day off work or cancelled other plans in order to take your DC out for the day?

In which case it's understandable that she would be a bit pissed off that you cancelled at very short notice.

MrsWolowitz Sun 28-Oct-12 09:27:52

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MrsWolowitz Sun 28-Oct-12 09:29:10

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Everlong Sun 28-Oct-12 09:32:08

That's good to hear OP.

LadyEvilBeagle Sun 28-Oct-12 09:32:12

What came up that caused you to cancel?
Maybe your friend was hurt that it was suddenly more important than her plans.

Groovee Sun 28-Oct-12 09:32:19

She's possibly annoyed that she's made plans to take your daughter out, and then the night before you pull that from under her. Then you expect her to still come round at night to babysit and spend time with her the following day.

I don't think she's selfish but hurt. If you have PND it's possible you're not in a state of mind to be told how your friend actually feels and is avoiding you because she is hurt.

I'm sorry you feel the way you do, and sometimes although it's hard, getting them wrapped up and out for a while may help you get a clear head and tire the children out so you can snuggle down with them later.

ChickenFillet Sun 28-Oct-12 09:34:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ENormaSnob Sun 28-Oct-12 10:03:43

What groovee said.

Tbh I would be pissed off at having plans cancelled at such short notice. My friend has just cancelled plans for tommorow and I am really cross tbh.

ratbagcatbag Sun 28-Oct-12 10:08:37

The other thing might be, was she going to a play thing where she'd booked tickets so now lost out on money, tbf I'd be pretty annoyed if they changed at the last minute and I can possibly see why she was. However tree with others, get yourself out the house and let kids burn some energy off smile will make you feel better too.

puds11 Sun 28-Oct-12 10:18:44

Where are you wolwitz? If your near me i'll give you a hand smile

sayithowitis Sun 28-Oct-12 10:20:44

I agree with Groovee. If I was going to arrange to take a 4 yo out for the day, the chances are I would have incurred some expense and if it was cancelled at such short notice, it may not be possible to recover that money. I would be pretty peeved if I had spent out, only to have found the money was wasted but that I was still expected to babysit whilst your plans went ahead.

I know money isn't the be all and end all, but, for some people, they really cannot afford to waste it. I certainly can't.

She has said she will see you later, so it sounds to me that yes, she is peeved, but not annoyed. If she was annoyed, she wouldn't be seeing you later.

I think maybe your PND makes you a little more sensitive to things like this. Agree with those who say get yourself and the children wrapped up and have a good long walk.

Hope things get easier for you soon.

SirBoobAlot Sun 28-Oct-12 10:24:21

Your friend is being a bit of a tit, but also bear in mind that being depressed makes you more sensitive. That's not a criticism, its speaking as someone who knows smile

Get out of the house, because as much as you want to hide under the duvet, those walls are the worst thing for you right now.

Hope you feel better soon.

Whoknowswhocares Sun 28-Oct-12 10:29:55

I sympathise with the friend actually. You say she wanted to take dd out as 'a birthday treat' and that it was her idea. Perhaps she feels a bit rejected? It sounds as if her primary aim was to do something nice with your daughter, not offer essential banysitting!tbh if it came across as the 'something else' that came up was preferable to your friends generous offer, then I can understand her being a bit miffed

Whoknowswhocares Sun 28-Oct-12 10:31:06

That isn't to say she shouldn't be a bit more understanding though......if she knows you are depressed she should make allowances.
Hope you feel better soon x

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