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Christmas... I know, I know... Sorry...

(14 Posts)
MildewMayhew Sat 27-Oct-12 23:38:52

OK, regular here, but NCed. Anyhow.

My family have started making plans for Christmas, and sunday evening, I realised I'd be spending Christmas with just myself and DS. My parents are visiting (live abroad, and this is their first Christmas in England since DS was born) but will be seeing myself and DS for an hour (tops) Christmas Day, before heading round DSis's. I'd usually spend Christmas Day with DB and his wife, kids and in-laws, but this year, he'd decided it's going to be just him, wife and kids.

Anyway, last night, he decided to extend an offer to me; I could come to theirs Christmas Day, as long as I abided to certain rules (namely "No arguing" - which is usually me defending myself or DNiece) I suspect there would have been more, but he got distracted instructing DSiL on how to drive hmm

WIBU to decline on the basis that he's sounding like a patronising Fuckwit, and I'd rather spend Christmas with someone who wants me about, as opposed to someone extending a sympathy invite after realising it'd be just me and DS on our own... Right now, neither option feels particularly appealing.

TheCunningStunt Sat 27-Oct-12 23:40:42

Can't you go to your sisters to?

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:43:10

Well personally I wouldn't invite anyone for Christmas if I felt they'd spoil it by arguing.

But having said that, he sounds lovely for inviting you once he realised you'd be spending it alone with just your DS.

However, you don't sound very grateful or pleased so maybe you should do the decent thing and decline?

MildewMayhew Sat 27-Oct-12 23:43:50

No chance, CS. Have spent past five and a half years trying to rebuild a relationship with her, but it's a one way street. DS has never had so much as a birthday/Christmas card from her, and barely knows her.

MildewMayhew Sat 27-Oct-12 23:45:58

Worra, I'll reiterate. The "arguing", each time, was me defending either myself,(he decided to completely slate me one year, for being a lone parent) or DNiece, who he decided to tell to "Get the fuck out" of his house, last year (She's 7).

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:48:20

Right so you don't get on with your brother or your sister?

Best you make a nice day of it for yourself and your DS then.

Cahoots Sat 27-Oct-12 23:48:38

All sounds a bit strange like my family I would not want to go to your DB's, he sounds a bit of a pillock. What about just going for a very short visit so that you have something to do. Are you not able to go to your DSis. It seems odd that your DP's are only staying for an hour. That is very short.
What would your DS like to do?

ilovesooty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:49:21

If you don't like each other much I don't see any point in spending the day with him.

And you'll be seeing some family on the day albeit briefly and you and your son have each other. It doesn't sound that bad to me.

MildewMayhew Sat 27-Oct-12 23:51:09

Cahoots, DS wants my DPs to stay for longer. sad They're only staying for an hour, as they're off to DB's after (for an hour) then DSis's for midday, for Christmas Lunch - They'll be there the rest of the day.

BackforGood Sat 27-Oct-12 23:52:41

Well, if you like neither your brother nor your sister, then I think staying home with your dc is probably the best option for you.

maras2 Sun 28-Oct-12 00:01:25

Have to agree with everyone else.Why,if you don't get on with your family all year round,wait till Christmas to either try to make peace or have a huge row.Stay home and have a lovely day with your children.

Floralnomad Sun 28-Oct-12 00:05:49

Do none of your siblings get along with each other ? Are you having your parents on Boxing Day ? TBH I feel a bit sorry for your parents ,it must be hell coming back to this , I think I have stayed abroad .

MildewMayhew Sun 28-Oct-12 00:11:53

I DO spend all year trying to make peace... I babysit almost constantly for DB and DSiL during school holidays, I get on wonderfully with DSiL, and as for DSis, I've spent the past five and a half years trying to rebuild bridges with her, but that's a one way street.

I was brought up being told Christmas was all about family. Just feels my family's been whittled down, and I feel somewhat like the one invited, usually last minute, out of pity.

Freshbloodletticia Sun 28-Oct-12 00:37:04

You know, if I were on your situation I would accept the DPs visit for an hour and then make the day very special for you and DS. Can you go out for lunch together? Or ask him to choose a special meal at home and then snuggle up in front of the tele?
Arrange to see your DPs on Xmas Eve or Boxing Day for longer instead and just chill about the whole thing.
Seriously, your DS will love having your undivided attention on Xmas day.

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