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A bit dissapointed in my own brother?

(71 Posts)
pamelat Sat 27-Oct-12 23:33:26

my brother is lovely

He's thoughtful, Sensitive and a nice guy

His wife is due to give birth tomorrow to their first child

We met them tonight for a meal and he'd had 6 pints

Im quite shocked but wonder if I'm being self righteous

Dh didn't drink in that last week or so "just I'm case"

My brother was drunk. He couldn't speak properly. He definately couldn't drive

I love my brother and his pregnant wife was not concerned at all as she doesn't feel the baby will come tonight

They only live 20/25 mins from the hospital so am I being a prude? My dh is really annoyed at him so we left the meal early :-(

dexter73 Sat 27-Oct-12 23:38:08

I think they are grown up enough to make their own decisions and they were both happy about it. Tbh your husband sounds a little ridiculous to cut the evening short because he was annoyed about ithmm.

Jackstini Sat 27-Oct-12 23:38:34

yanbu. I would be a bit annoyed. She probably hasn't got hammered for months, least he could be sober just before due date!

We had a 'from 37 weeks' rule that dh had to be ready to drive

FuckityFuckFuck Sat 27-Oct-12 23:38:52


You actually left the meal early?

His wife was not concerned, so why did it bother you so much?

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:39:11

You left the meal early because he had six pints? shock

Well firstly unless those 6 pints put him flat on his back, there's nothing more sobering than waking up in the night and having to go to hospital for any reason...let alone the birth of your child.

And secondly, not everyone does drive so that's a moot point really.

The only important person in this is your pregnant SIL and I assume she was ok about it as you haven't mentioned that she wasn't?

pigletpower Sat 27-Oct-12 23:49:40

I like a drink,but SIX PINTS in one 'meal sitting'! Fucking hell that's some going.What a twat! Worra-don't be so bloody stupid! Nobody can sober up quickly from six pints to be any use whatso ever in a labour situation. I think it actually speaks volumes that his wife didn't mention how much he had drunk.Rocking up, smelling of alcohol at the birth of your child is not such a good thing.

Gooeyhead Sat 27-Oct-12 23:50:22

Sorry but I think you and your DH are being unreasonable, your DB and SIL are both adults and perfectly capable of making decisions... If it was me I'd be more upset with my DH being annoyed and leaving the meal early!!! smile

pamelat Sat 27-Oct-12 23:51:59

We left after the meal but earlier than we'd intended

My dad and brother do not handle booze very well. Especially my dad who was also there and drunk

I'm guess i was just dissapointed

Dh was angry as said my family are idiots with no etiquette but to be fair to him it's because I was upset about his mum upsetting me a few weeks ago

Few people are nice drunk sad

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:52:42

Thanks for the compliment piglet but far from being bloody 'stupid' I'm rather more open minded.

If the guy is a regular drinker then 6 pints of regular beer (the OP hasn't said it was strong beer) with a meal is fairly standard and he could quite easily sober up a few hours later if his wife went into labour.

pamelat Sat 27-Oct-12 23:53:28

He'd had six and was going strong. Some people an handle drink, they can't and it seemed a shame?

Musomathsci Sat 27-Oct-12 23:53:42

Maybe he is stressing out and this was a one off bad coping strategy? Not very considerate to turn up to a social event already pissed, but it's your brother, cut him some slack. If his wife was annoyed and not showing it, you 've made it worse for her. YAB a bit U.

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:54:53

Dh was angry as said my family are idiots with no etiquette but to be fair to him it's because I was upset about his mum upsetting me a few weeks ago

Ahh so it's tit for tat?

You slate my family so I'll slate yours?

As long as your SIL and brother are happy I'd save your 'bit disappointed' for your DH to be honest if he's using this to point score.

WildWorld2004 Sat 27-Oct-12 23:55:27

If your SIL is going in for a c-section tomorrow & your brother is meant to b driving id say YANBU. But if it is her due date is tomorrow then YABU as the baby will probably not be born tomorrow.

LadyEvilBeagle Sat 27-Oct-12 23:56:10

None of your business OP.
And your dh said your family were idiots with no etiquette?hmm
Maybe it's you two that have the problem considering your sil was ok about it.

AgentZigzag Sat 27-Oct-12 23:56:54

Your DH having a go at your family to get you back for saying his mum had upset you is a bit crappy.

But I agree with the others that it's nowt to do with you/yours, it's their own private business.

Floralnomad Sat 27-Oct-12 23:57:10

If she does go into labour tonight ,which is unlikely , she will probably be in labour for hours so he'll have plenty of time to sober up . YABU ,this may be his last opportunity to get drunk for a while . Sounds like you and your OH have a few issues with each others families that may cloud both your judgement .

FuckityFuckFuck Sat 27-Oct-12 23:58:36

it's because I was upset about his mum upsetting me a few weeks ago

Is he 12?

NatashaBee Sun 28-Oct-12 00:01:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jackstini Sun 28-Oct-12 00:01:49

Am a bit hmm at how many people are saying it's ok.

If he had to drive, (ok - maybe not likely but certainly possible), he would likely be well over the limit.
That's not ok.

Even if they called a taxi, I would not be impressed with a dh that didn't have his head on straight for the birth of his first child!

pamelat Sun 28-Oct-12 00:03:09

Thank you

I feel that my brother is restored

I was a but surprised and dissapointed but I guess more because dh was so vindictive and hostile, always makes you question yourself and your own???

I did say to him that even if SIL started labour it should be hours but he said I wouldn't tolerate it, which I wouldn't, but that's us and up to us?

tiggytape Sun 28-Oct-12 00:03:37

YANBU 6 pints when there's a real chance you'll be needed to be at your best at any time soon is unfair on his wife (not that she seemed to care but what else could she say in company?).

He doesn't have to live on water and leaves for 2 weeks just in case the baby comes but doing anything that puts him totally out of action hours before the baby is due seems pretty stupid and inconsiderate.

I don't see why your DH was upset about it though. People do stupid stuff all the time and that's up to them. Doesn't make it any less stupid but its not really your DH's place to comment on it.

tigerdriverII Sun 28-Oct-12 00:05:56

Yabu For all the reasons given Above.

AgentZigzag Sun 28-Oct-12 00:14:07

Not everyone who's said the OP is being unreasonable is saying they think it's OK Jacks, a lot are saying she's unreasonable because it's nothing to do with her.

The only people who can decide whether it's right or not for the OPs brother, is her brother and his DP.

Plus it just sounds a bit weird for an adult to be 'disappointed' in their adult sibling, a bit too close and intrusive? That could just be me though.

WorraLiberty Sun 28-Oct-12 00:14:14

There is of course the teeniest tiniest possibility that the pregnant lady doesn't think 6 pints is all that much, and isn't bothered whether they get a taxi or take the car?

I mean she doesn't have to be repressed in anyway and unable to say what she really thinks.

AgentZigzag Sun 28-Oct-12 00:16:14

'I feel that my brother is restored'

You seem easily swayed by other peoples opinions OP, taking on your DHs stance and now thinking your DB is OK after all because a load of anon vipers have said so grin

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