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To be livid at boyfriend for letting me down last minute like this???

(22 Posts)
GlobeTrotterExcell Sat 27-Oct-12 23:03:14

We don't live together but see each other during the week and every weekend. This weekend however he mentioned a works night out so I said he should go. I was totally fine with it, he doesn't often go out with his mates, I totally supported him going. He ummed and arred but eventually agreed to go.

HE then said he could still come back to my house afterwards and sleep the night so we still get most of the weekend together. I said "yeah that's fine, if you want to do that". He assured me he did and said he'd get a taxi here. To make things easier and cheaper for him, I offered to pick him up. He agreed and said it DID make things easier for him and he appreciated me doing that.

Then, I wondered if it came across a little controlling/restricting so asked him again if he was ok with that and said I didn't mind if he wanted to just get a taxi home - I didn't want to restrict his night at all. But no, he insisted on sticking to the original plan.

Then, last night I was asked to go on a halloween night out tonight. I considered it for a while (I love halloween) but thought no, I made plans with D* I'll stick to them. I asked him again if he still wanted picking up - he said yes, definitely.

Then, this morning he text me saying "you'e still picking me up right?" and I replied that yes, I was.

So - he said he'd text me halfway through the night (about 10ish) and then again when he wanted picking up (no later then midnight). So I'm sat here - 10pm comes and goes. 11pm - I get a text saying "might be easier if I just get a taxi home x"

I'm pissed off because

a) I asked him MANY times if he wanted picking up or not, he said yes everytime
b) I was looking forward to seeing him
c) I've been sat here like a twat all night waiting for him to text
d) I could have gone out!!! :-(

AIBU to send back a text saying "right, well I turned down a night out myself because I arranged to pick you up so thanks for that".

SirBoobAlot Sat 27-Oct-12 23:06:02

YANBU to be annoyed, but you WBU to send that text.

You had the option to tell him that you wanted to go out.

WorraLiberty Sat 27-Oct-12 23:08:28

You should have told him about the night out really.

He might have said he'll get a taxi because sometimes nights out go on longer than planned.

YANBU to be fed up though.

thumper1806 Sat 27-Oct-12 23:09:00

You're not unreasonable to be annoyed. But I'd leave it until tomorrow to tell him.

Texting him won't change your situation.

KellyElly Sat 27-Oct-12 23:09:49

YANBU however if he's drinking and out then that kind of thing will happen. Annoying but not the end of the world.

Euphemia Sat 27-Oct-12 23:10:06

What a palaver! He should have just stayed at his own place tonight instead of this complicated carry-on.

I think you are both being a bit unreasonable in having to see each other during the week and every weekend. How about every other weekend, then you can see your own pals without worrying about what the other's arrangements are?

nailak Sat 27-Oct-12 23:10:07

why couldnt you gone out and met him after?

Floralnomad Sat 27-Oct-12 23:11:07

YABU ,did he know that you had turned down a night out ? Sounds to me like he knows its going to be a late one and is trying to be considerate . If you are that pissed off don't offer to do it again .

ShutTheFrontDoor Sat 27-Oct-12 23:12:12

Crikey, why would you pass on a night out just so you could pick him up? He didn't ask, you offered.
You sound like a martyr to me.

lucyellenmum Sat 27-Oct-12 23:12:25

you should have gone out, he isn't a mind reader i assume? So in his mind whether you pick him up or not is no biggie, he might think it will be a late one so he is saving you the trouble?

shinyblackgrape Sat 27-Oct-12 23:13:09

Eh? You gave up a night out to wait at home and be his taxi driver?!

Putting aside what I see as the oddness of that, did he know yiu were doing that? If so, he was a bit of a turd to then deny you the massive treat of chauffeuring him home. If not, you can't really complain.

Hyperballad Sat 27-Oct-12 23:19:56

No point in getting mad about it. Just one of those things u put down to experience.

You know to go out next time.

It's not his fault he is having a better time than expected.

Hyperballad Sat 27-Oct-12 23:22:01

I actually think you sound really insecure in this relationship and that you need a bit more confidence.

Apologies if I'm wrong, it's just how it's coming across to me.

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul Sat 27-Oct-12 23:25:52

So you sat in all night, waiting to pick him up without alcohol

You should have gone out.

samandi Tue 30-Oct-12 16:15:53

YADNBU for being annoyed, I've had similar things happen and it's extremely irritating.

PerfectStranger74 Tue 30-Oct-12 17:52:02

Yanbu
My ex was like this all the time, it drove me potty. Woe betide anyone trying to change plans on HIM though, even with plenty of notice.
I'd make sure it wasn't something he thought he could do whenever he felt like it. My ex could never see anyone else's point of view

Lueji Tue 30-Oct-12 18:16:20

Yabu because you didn't tell him about the night out.
As far as he was concerned you were at home with nothing to do and he was nice to call you to say not to worry with him as it was getting late.

In his place I'd be angry if you sent that text.
He didn't ask you not to go to the party FGS!

Plans change all the time, and you should really be more confident not to give up on yours for the sake of giving him a ride or even spending the night.

thebody Tue 30-Oct-12 18:21:36

U do this dirt of things for your teens not your partner.

Good grief, he's a big boy, you should have left if to him to get his ass home after a night out( and these things can go over a pick up time) and you should have gone out yourself so you both had good nights out and lots of good gossip to share the next day.

U were both a bit silly, you to offer a lift and give up a night out and him to accept a lift ghat curtails a night out at 12 pm.

gobbledegook1 Tue 30-Oct-12 18:24:39

YANBU! This sort of thing pisses me right off too.

Numberlock Tue 30-Oct-12 18:36:54

It sounds exhausting.

AThingInYourLife Tue 30-Oct-12 18:41:27

You turned down a night out to be your boyfriend's taxi driver?

That is really, really lame and desperate.

BoneyBackJefferson Tue 30-Oct-12 19:48:32

From the OP it sounds like he didn't want to go in the first place.

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