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to be annoyed with Mner's suggesting ringing SS for the tiniest things.

(82 Posts)
Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:17:26

I don't know how many posts I have been on today but Its like an epidemic .
Am I being unreasonable to get annoyed about people suggesting or asking if they
should ring SS about ridiculous things.

No wonder some parents are getting so het up about social services turning up on
their door. I work in the sector and just want to say if you spot or hear something
in the play ground take it to the school / head not directly to SS yourself !

They are honestly way too busy to get involved unless there is decent evidence , its not your job to ring them !!

Am I the only one to feel like this ? Schools / groups etc have their own systems ,It bugs me as much as people ringing ambulances for things that can be dealt with at doctors or walk in centres . Its such a waste of resources.

OHforDUCKScake Sat 27-Oct-12 15:19:43

What reasons and I will tell you if YABU.

MrsjREwing Sat 27-Oct-12 15:20:43

As a disabled adult I rang them on myself, they seem to not have many resources.

ZombTEE Sat 27-Oct-12 15:22:36

Fuck that! If I suspect abuse it is my job to ring them!

Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:24:31

One post was because a mum had spotted an obese child in the school ..severley so and was debating ringing ss as a matter of child abuse . And there was something else about a mum debating ringing because her ex was 40 and going out with a 23 yr old and she didnt want her children exposed to it ...
Im all for if you have a life / death situation at home with neighbours etc or major concerns do it . But not something at school , alert the school .. but at the end of the day I feel it isn't their buisness the school might well be working with them but wouldnt be able to tell you anyway. !

Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:25:37

It wasn't really a case of suspecting abuse , and my feeling is if its a situation at school the school should be the first point of call , if they dont listen its the governors and then its SS. ... thats what most school policies would dictate anyway.

lisaro Sat 27-Oct-12 15:26:15

ts not your job to ring them !!
And you claim to work in the sector? Well I can't say I'm surprised at the terrible reputation it probably rightly has, then.

Mosman Sat 27-Oct-12 15:31:19

I reckon they have a red phone or a big button that gets pressed whenever a mumsnetter calls.
Don't they have to investigate every call, therefore imagine the wasted resources, criminal

Mrsjay Sat 27-Oct-12 15:33:30

that thread is more than a fat kid there is a lot more going on I think the poster is being vague for personal reasons I think she knows the family well and anyway there is a huge different between a genuine worry about a child and just call SS some kids need protecting,

Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:33:41

Im far from suggesting its not your job to ring them if your genuinely concerned about the safety of a young person or a child outside the school grounds.
But the two incidence I refer to one with regards to the age difference is just a mum het up about an ex going out with a younger woman and she had no solid grounds for concern for the safety of her child.
And the second one was within school grounds , where the parent suggesting ringing had no information about whether the child was 'obese' because of medical issues or parental issues. All social services would do in that case would be to refer the parents back to the school to raise their concerns. But it would save 10 mins of wasted time.
In some local authorities the first point of call switchboards in SS can be as stretched as some emergency services , im not sure everyone appreciates that.

I am far from saying don't ring if you are genuinely concerned and have good solid evidential reasons to be

mutny Sat 27-Oct-12 15:35:23

OP yabu and I cam mot believed you work in this 'sector' surely if someone suspects abuse it is their job to report it to you
Fair enough the obese case, but really if you genuinely think a child is bring abused you should do something.

Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:35:42

Mrsjay I didn't read the extra bit but I do think if speaking to the school was an option it should be the first port of call .

MmeLindor Sat 27-Oct-12 15:37:03

I do think that it is right to look at the specific cases - the two that you state are clearly very different.

The first - with the very obese child - should SS be called? Don't know without knowing the details but instinct would be to speak to the school first, or mention to Health Visitor. SS only if there were indications that the parents were otherwise struggling.

Second - ridiculous, based on the age of the new girlfriend alone. Was there more to that?

Aside from these particular cases, I would say that we need to get away from this feeling that calling SS is somehow 'setting the dogs' on a family. They are - or should be - there to help children and families who need assistance.

mutny Sat 27-Oct-12 15:37:18

Pressed post to soon

What I am saying is, yes some people are reported for silly things. Those people should be tackled but telling people its not their job to report it is beyond wrong.

I wish someone had called as when I was being abused by my step dad. Ffs you have no fucking clue.

pigletmania Sat 27-Oct-12 15:37:25

YANBU at all, it seems prevalent on here.

Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:37:50

The age difference case they didnt expect abuse at all and the second obese case Mrsjay has pointed out somethings I must have skimmed over.

I would err on the side of caution and ring , but I think what im trying to say is distinguish between what is abuse / possible abuse and needs reporting and what could be dealt with by someone else.

mutny Sat 27-Oct-12 15:38:45

But the two incidence I refer to one with regards to the age difference is just a mum het up about an ex going out with a younger woman and she had no solid grounds for concern for the safety of her child.

No one told her to ring SS, did they. Everyone told her she was being ridiculous.

MmeLindor Sat 27-Oct-12 15:39:33

Just looked at the age difference one. The OP was told to get a grip by MNetters.

MrsjREwing Sat 27-Oct-12 15:40:04

I have met a few sw latley, had nothing to do with them before.

Firstly, once you have contact with ss, be that phoning yourself or a malicious call etc then you are "known to ss" and by recent events I have experienced labelled and looked down on.

Personally I am unhappy with a letter I received from school today following their unfounded witch hunt and whipping themselves up due to our family being known to ss now. They want ss to look inti helping me at home. How dare they, I don't need help at home despite my disability no concerns ever about that have ever been raised, I have been assessed by adult ss and an ot, I never said I was not coping at home.

Some people are very arogant and ignorant.

As a disabled parent of dc with the same condition I like to model self reliance as much as possible.

Some people have no clue the inadvertant damage they do.

Saying all of the above the sw have been fine with me, treated me like equal, been open mostly, one was nasty the other two were fine.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Sat 27-Oct-12 15:41:22

I agree with you. For school related matters I would always speak to the school first before contacting already stretched SS. I would only go direct if school was part of the problem or if they were not dealing with my concerns.

Fluffanstuff Sat 27-Oct-12 15:41:49

mutny Perhaps I should have worded my post better. Of course I am not suggesting that someone that has / had a similar situation to you should be over looked , If it was clear to someone that was the situation . Anyone should have rung.
This is less about not rining about abusive cases but more for people to think that SS need time to sort out cases such as yours and be informed of those sorts of things other than the fact 'my ex has a new partner , shes young , i want to ring ss'

From what I read of the post the woman had no reason to suspect her child was in danger. And I felt it odd that someone would jump to the conclusion of ringing SS in that situation.

mutny Sat 27-Oct-12 15:42:28

So this is a thread about a thread. That you are annoyed about it happening and it turns out that the only example you have is one random woman who briefly thought about calling them but has realised that would be stupid.
Just the one?

Mosman Sat 27-Oct-12 15:44:32

How do you think you would know if the school were dealing with your concerns ? Would you like a weekly progress report ?

Mintyy Sat 27-Oct-12 15:44:51

On the age difference thread the op was told not to be so silly by the other posters.

You really are exaggerating!

mutny Sat 27-Oct-12 15:44:56

From what I read of the post the woman had no reason to suspect her child was in danger. And I felt it odd that someone would jump to the conclusion of ringing SS in that situation.

That's ONE woman who now admits she is being daft, so what's you point.
Obviously as should only be called if you are genuinely concerned. That woman is obviously struggling but has come to her senses, so whose time has she wasted? She never reported them.

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