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AIBU (or juat old fashioned) to think it strange that parents allow this?

(134 Posts)
cinnamonnut Fri 26-Oct-12 21:17:02

Had dinner in a nice hotel and a couple with two sons sat near us. Through most of the evening, dinner and all, one of the boys had those clunky beats by dr dre headphones glued to his ears. He was old enough to be able to concentrate at a nice dinner for a little while.

AIBU to think it's a shame that people seem to ignore the world and what's going on around them - and to also find it rude? I'm under 21, not sure if I'm being overly old fashioned...

HocusPocusPigInACaldron Fri 26-Oct-12 21:19:44

How old was he?

I wouldn't let my dds wear headphones during a meal, i am 37 and probably very old fashioned!

Graciescotland Fri 26-Oct-12 21:20:27

I think it's a shame too but then I am one of those boring parents who thinks that all meals should be taken at the table with the tv off.

borisjohnsonshair Fri 26-Oct-12 21:21:59

It's not about being old-fashioned, it's about politeness. Politeness shouldn't be dictated by how old you are; indeed some of the rudest people I've come across are elderly. Parents have different ideas about what constitutes decent behaviour; who knows, maybe he's very difficult in those sort of situations, so they were doing it for others' benefit? [clutching at straws emoticon]

Tuttutitlookslikerain Fri 26-Oct-12 21:22:46

I wouldn't allow my DSes (17&15) to do it. I don't think they would want too, actually. But I am old fashioned too, we have always sat at the table, TV off and no toys!

marriedinwhite Fri 26-Oct-12 21:25:10

I think you are right - but can see that for an "easy" life when they are spending money on a meal out parents might give in so that there is not a pout and a trantrum in the restaurant. Not saying it's right but I can understand it if the parents have been looking forward to an evening free from arguments and offenshowness.

Alisvolatpropiis Fri 26-Oct-12 21:25:33

YANBU. I think that's really odd and I'm 24. I think it's just a case of politeness. If expecting manners is "old fashioned" then I'm okay with that!

Wallace Fri 26-Oct-12 21:28:41

He might have had SN

Wallace Fri 26-Oct-12 21:28:54

was I first? grin

Mrsjay Fri 26-Oct-12 21:29:22

I wouldnt allow dds to have headphones on and I demand they put mobiles away although i notice they fiddling with the phones sigh it is rude

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 21:29:29

I don't think you are old fashioned. I wouldn't let my children do this.

I know someone whose 4 year old has an ipod, I think he had it at 3 maybe even 2. When they go out he has his head phones on and the mother has hers on and has done since he was a baby in the pram. I think thats pretty bad.

Mrsjay Fri 26-Oct-12 21:29:50

was I first?

yip grin

CrapBag Fri 26-Oct-12 21:30:45

Ooo I hate the constant phone fiddling. I find it incredibly rude, like what you are saying is of no interest whatsoever. My sister does it constantly, I always tell her and she still carries on, she is 26.

hiddenhome Fri 26-Oct-12 21:31:33

My ds1 has adhd and takes his ipod with him otherwise our trips out are disrupted and miserable. He doesn't disturb anybody with it and he'll take it off to chat to us, but at least he has the choice.

bbcessex Fri 26-Oct-12 21:31:51

Do you have a special gift that allows you to identify the exact circumstances of each family you meet? Are you really able to assess what is right and wrong in each family situation, and the personality / needs of each child? Wow - what a gift you have.

Perhaps you can't judge this family by just sitting next to them.
Perhaps one of the boys had special needs or learning difficulties .. Maybe his circumstances wouldn't allow him to fit in with your global judgement of "old enough to concentrate on a dinner"?

Maybe this was one way they could go out as a family?

bbcessex Fri 26-Oct-12 21:32:40

cross posts with hiddenhome - completely agree.

VerySmallSqueak Fri 26-Oct-12 21:32:57

I wouldn't let mine do it,but it wouldn't even give a passing thought to someone else's kids doing it.
I wouldn't find it rude,or offensive in any way,and would assume there was a reason for it.
And even if there wasn't it wouldn't matter. We all have different ways and so long as they're not hurting anyone,then why not?

ProcrastinatingPanda Fri 26-Oct-12 21:32:57

I'm not sure if yabu or not, I let my 5 yr old DS wear headphones when we're out for dinner and let him play on his iPad, but he has an ASD and it's to keep him calm.

Mrsjay Fri 26-Oct-12 21:33:44

at my dds 18th birthday my sister was facing booking at the table i was glaring at her she is 28 angry put the bloody phones down,

Kalisi Fri 26-Oct-12 21:33:56

I would be inclined to agree Wallace, a teenage family member of mine has aspergers and wearing headphones is literally the only way they cope with social situations.

DeeMonic Fri 26-Oct-12 21:34:09

It could be that he had some form of learning disability/autism or special needs and found the beat from the headphones comforting; it could be that he had tinnitus and the noise helped?

Unfortunately it's easy to make assumptions based on first impressions - since I've been on MN I've learned to leave my judgy-pants slung low. smile

bbcessex Fri 26-Oct-12 21:34:14

Sorry, I've obviously missed some Mumsnet in-joke mocking children/people with special needs.

ProcrastinatingPanda Fri 26-Oct-12 21:36:30

bbc what in joke?

Mrsjay Fri 26-Oct-12 21:37:28

Sorry, I've obviously missed some Mumsnet in-joke mocking children/people with special needs.

nobody was mocking people with special needs at all ,

bbcessex Fri 26-Oct-12 21:37:40

I was referring to the earlier "was I first" (to mention SN) smiley face by Wallace... don't know if there is some in-joke that I haven't picked up on before...

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