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not to tell DD2 that it's her birthday today?

(195 Posts)
Ithinkitsjustme Fri 26-Oct-12 15:47:45

She is 4 today but because my DH went to work after she got up and won't be home until she is in bed and her party is tomorrow we have told her that her birthday is tomorrow. I thought it was a good idea and my other DC's have gone along with it and not said anything, but people in work think we are awful for doing this, what do you think?

usualsuspect3 Fri 26-Oct-12 15:49:09

I think it's a bit odd actually.

MrsCantSayAnything Fri 26-Oct-12 15:49:36

I think it's a bit odd tbh. when this happens with my DDs I make them a special breakfast...they have family gifts and maybe a small day out or visit from Granny for tea and a cake.

The the party is for friends...so more gifts....I can't think it will do her HARM as such but I wouldn't be comfy doing it.

CailinDana Fri 26-Oct-12 15:49:55

It doesn't make a blind bit of difference to her, so I don't see why not.

Petsinmyputridpudenda Fri 26-Oct-12 15:50:13

No idea why you would lie - Its not uncommon for someone to have to work on their kids birthday, such is life

NBut if you want to and she is unaware then whatever

Salmotrutta Fri 26-Oct-12 15:50:24

I rather agree with your work mates.

hmm

Odd thing to do.

ginmakesitallok Fri 26-Oct-12 15:50:47

I think it's weird. Why not just tell her it's her birthday today but still have her party tomorrow confused

noisytoys Fri 26-Oct-12 15:50:53

YABU surely at 4 your DD knows when her birthday is? She may feel forgotten sad

Trills Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:10

Anyone old enough to read a calendar is old enough to deal with the fact that birthdays are not always celebrated on the exact day.

Anyone not old enough to read a calendar doesn't ever need to know.

At 4 she could fall into either of these groups...

CailinDana Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:21

I doubt a 4 year old can tell the date.

Salmotrutta Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:25

What if a GP phones up to say Happy Birthday - do they have to lie to her too?

usualsuspect3 Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:44

Is she at school or nursery?

Zipadeedoodah Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:54

I changed my twins birthdays to either side of their real birthday so they always have their own day and in the middle day which is actually their birthday it's just a normal day - YANBU because you are doing it in your child's best interests

halcyondays Fri 26-Oct-12 15:52:25

I don't see the point in lying about it. confusedWhy not just tell her that it's her birthday today, and that she's having her party tomorrow so daddy can be there?

WiseKneeHairStandingOnEnd Fri 26-Oct-12 15:52:29

Surely she is old enough to understand that it is her birthday, but that she'll get her presents and party tomorrow?
Certainly did this with DS1's 5th birthday.
Have done the not telling and celebrating on another day with DS3 for his 1st and 2nd brithday as I was away for both of them. Obviously, at that age though he didn't have any idea that it was his birthday.

MrsCantSayAnything Fri 26-Oct-12 15:52:44

Not really Zip it is v odd. You can''t continue to lie to a child....it's not right.

3dolls Fri 26-Oct-12 15:53:45

I don't think it's odd with a young child tbh. We did it with one of our DC when the birthday fell on the same day as bil & sil's wedding. Made no difference to DC.

miaowmix Fri 26-Oct-12 15:54:03

Can't you just hve a birthday tea for her today and party tomorrow? Lying about it is weird, plus at 4 she could easily know it's her actual birthday.

haggisaggis Fri 26-Oct-12 15:54:27

My kids "birthdays" were always on Saturday or Sunday until they started school. It made absolutely no difference to them and meant they could have an exciting day with both parents around insetad of getting sent to nursery or granny's. When dd was 4 her actual birthday would have been the Saturday - but becaus a wee boy at nursery was having his party that day (and she and all her friends were invited) I moved her birthday (and her party) to the Sunday. She didn't know and didn't care - and all my family were happy with it.

headfairy Fri 26-Oct-12 15:54:31

At 4??? I think it is a bit odd. Fine for maybe a 2 year old, 3 tops. But it's just lying and I think a four year old is more than capable of processing the fact that although today is her birthday you're all celebrating tomorrow when no one's at work and she can have her party. DS certainly understood that concept at 4.

usualsuspect3 Fri 26-Oct-12 15:55:09

I've never heard of people changing their childrens birthdays to fit in with their plans, how strange.

Salmotrutta Fri 26-Oct-12 15:55:31

Fair enough for a 1 or 2 year old as they don't really grasp the "Birthday" concept.
But a 4 year old is a bit different.

Ithinkitsjustme Fri 26-Oct-12 15:55:33

Grandparents are all coming round tomorrow after her party anyway, so she would be having presents off them tomorrow. She doesn't go to pre-school on a Friday and they don't do the whole "singing Happy Birthday" thing until after the birthday anyway (which means she has to wait until a week Tuesday for that piece of excitement grin), she's had a nice day but is really looking forward to tomorrow when we can all spend time with her. She would have no idea what the date was.

LlamaLover Fri 26-Oct-12 15:55:42

Not sure it's good for your other kids to think its OK to lie in some circumstances.

MrsCantSayAnything Fri 26-Oct-12 15:56:42

No she wouldn;t know the date but you do....I couldn't let the actual day pass unmarked myself.

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