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Am I being mean?

(26 Posts)
Whistlingwaves Fri 26-Oct-12 15:41:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whistlingwaves Fri 26-Oct-12 15:43:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SecretCervix Fri 26-Oct-12 15:46:30

No you are not mean to say no, if she hasn't got the money you shouldn't have to be the one to bail her out.

DawnOfTheDee Fri 26-Oct-12 15:48:36

You're not being mean. Just tell her sorry you can't as your on a tight budget (which is true).

shewhowines Fri 26-Oct-12 15:49:47


Ask her to borrow the money from someone else as you are skint too. Avoid going to anywhere expensive with the same excuse. If you do have to spend money, say you borrowed it and need to pay it back to avoid lending her some.

Mosman Fri 26-Oct-12 15:50:32

Do you want to see her or not i guess

Kenanddreary Fri 26-Oct-12 15:50:45

Not mean at all. Tell her you can't afford it at the moment. If she is coming to stay with you and enjoy your hospitality shouldn't she be treating you to something? I hope she at least brings you a small gift.

WitchesTit Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:31

Yanbu. You aren't being mean at all. It might be doing her a favour in a way if you say something like, "well if you're a bit strapped for cash we should meet up another time cos I'm skint too". She won't be offended but hopefully it'll be a reality check.

Ithinkitsjustme Fri 26-Oct-12 15:51:51

Why would it be mean? You can't afford it full stop. It might be different if you were earning loads of money but even then people should pay their own way. Tell her you'll pay her £3 fare if she subs you for the second trip grin

valiumredhead Fri 26-Oct-12 15:52:39

I would lend a friend of 10 years £3 personally.

theoriginalandbestrookie Fri 26-Oct-12 15:52:55

I like witchestit's approach, gets the point across without being at all offensive.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 26-Oct-12 15:54:02

She shouldn't be making arrangements to stay anywhere if she hasn't even got £3!

DawnOfTheDee Fri 26-Oct-12 15:54:13

It's not just £3 thought valiumredhead. The friend asked for £3...then an additional £30.

MrsCantSayAnything Fri 26-Oct-12 15:54:30

Valium the OP is worried this girl wont pay her way at all....not just the fare.

foslady Fri 26-Oct-12 15:56:01

YANBU - if she's known she's coming to see you for 6 months and then expects you to sub her because she's skint I think she's got her priorities muddled re friendship. I'll gladly help any of my friends out, but this seems to be a bit much tbh bearing in mind she's known for so long. And just be straight - "X place costs £30 just in entry fee without food/drinks on top - and you're skint so we'll have to do it another time" (tell her to bring some wellies, woodland walks are nice this time of the year - AND FREE!!!!

valiumredhead Fri 26-Oct-12 15:56:46

Oh right sorry, I missed that. Just do what witches suggested then.

Whistlingwaves Fri 26-Oct-12 15:58:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Whistlingwaves Fri 26-Oct-12 15:59:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MerylStrop Fri 26-Oct-12 16:02:47

"Maybe it's best if you come another time then because I don't get paid until the day AFTER you leave"

Journey Fri 26-Oct-12 16:21:11

I'd probably tell her that I was happy to lend her the £3 and then tell her that we can reschedule the day out (the £30 one) for after her pay day if that would suit her better money wise.

Whistlingwaves Fri 26-Oct-12 19:36:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flossy101 Fri 26-Oct-12 19:38:35

Your not mean at all! If u planned it months ago she should have saved some money up for it!

DeadQODy Fri 26-Oct-12 19:41:03

Oh I've got déjà vue or you or someone else has posted very similar .... Maybe it was you with the hotel and big last year.

No you're not being tight, she's taking the P

maybenow Fri 26-Oct-12 19:41:13

i'd just say to her that she won't be able to afford the other trip because it's a big train fare... and if she didn't have enough for the small trip she won't be able to do the longer one.

and then just spend the weekend together frugally saying that you realise she doesn't have any cash..

ABatInBunkFive Fri 26-Oct-12 19:44:04

YY DeadQODy - i thought the exact same

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