Talk

Advanced search

To think husband is not pulling his weight with children

(4 Posts)
shelley1979 Wed 24-Oct-12 15:09:50

I am a mom to two boys aged 2 and 4 months. I am currently staying at my moms as she recovers from a bone graft and hip replacement. My husband is staying at our house with our dog and said that when i was staying at my moms he would do decorating that is ideal to do while our boys are out of the house. I feel so upset at the moment and i think its the end of the road. We are rowing(this has been like this for a while not just since i have been out of house) and to be honest i feel like i dont want to go back to the house. Im so tired and i never get a break away from my children. I asked my husband to look after the boys while i had an hour sleep and my older son came in to my room and jumped on the bed. I had a go at my husband as i said he should have kept him downstairs as he obviously wasn't watching him if he had a chance to come up to me. He was watching tv. I then had to cook the tea as he doesnt cook either.(he used to cook when we first met). After tea he said he was going to go and walk the dog leaving me with both boys to bath and settle forbed. He also said he didnt have time to do the DIY job he was going to do as he said he didnt have time even though he said it would only take half an hour. I have come over today to our house and the place is a mess, clothes on floor and still no decorating. Originally my 2 year old was going to stay with his dad of a night and come to me in the day when my hubby is at work but he said to me that if i had our son over night he would get on with decorating. I feel im being took for an idiot as he has been drinking wine(not that i mind him having a drink)and watching tv. I dont even know what its like to relax of an evening as im falling into bed when children are asleep and getting up every 3 hours or so to feed baby while my husband is relaxing at home. I txt him last night to help me as my older son wouldn't settle and he ignored me. My husband has never let me lie in or done bathtime routine with younger baby and doesnt take both boys out together so i get a break. I feel i never get my own time. Don't get me wrong i love my sons to pieces but feel so tired and upset. This is nothing new i lost my dad last year and i knew he was dying and the morning he died i asked my husband to hold our first son who was just a baby at the time so i could sit with my dad he wanted to do something at the house! He did have him but not willingly and my dad died an hour later. Sorry this makes me sound aawful and like im running my husband down but i just don't know what else to do, if i bring things up he thinks im having a go at him but all i want is for him to be tidier and to help with the boys a bit more.

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 24-Oct-12 15:22:35

People won't read this without paragraphs <bitter experience> so I've had a go at it for you. FWIW, YANBU. I hated reading about your poor Dad and how your DH acted. Sorry.

I am a mom to two boys aged 2 and 4 months. I am currently staying at my moms as she recovers from a bone graft and hip replacement. My husband is staying at our house with our dog. He said that when i was staying at my moms he would do the decorating that is ideal to do while our boys are out of the house.

I feel so upset at the moment and i think its the end of the road. We are rowing (this has been like this for a while not just since i have been out of house) and to be honest i feel like i don't want to go back to the house. Im so tired and i never get a break away from my children. I asked my husband to look after the boys while i had an hour sleep and my older son came in to my room and jumped on the bed. I had a go at my husband as i said he should have kept him downstairs as he obviously wasn't watching him if he had a chance to come up to me. He was watching tv.

I then had to cook the tea as he doesnt cook either.(he used to cook when we first met). After tea he said he was going to go and walk the dog leaving me with both boys to bath and settle for bed. He also said he didnt have time to do the DIY job he was going to do even though he said it would only take half an hour. I have come over today to our house and the place is a mess, clothes on floor and still no decorating.

Originally my 2 year old was going to stay with his dad of a night and come to me in the day when my hubby is at work but he said to me that if i had our son over night he would get on with decorating. I feel im being took for an idiot as he has been drinking wine (not that i mind him having a drink)and watching tv. I dont even know what its like to relax of an evening as im falling into bed when children are asleep and getting up every 3 hours or so to feed baby while my husband is relaxing at home.

I txt him last night to help me as my older son wouldn't settle and he ignored me. My husband has never let me lie in or done bathtime routine with younger baby and doesnt take both boys out together so i get a break. I feel i never get my own time.

Don't get me wrong i love my sons to pieces but feel so tired and upset. This is nothing new i lost my dad last year and i knew he was dying and the morning he died i asked my husband to hold our first son who was just a baby at the time so i could sit with my dad he wanted to do something at the house! He did have him but not willingly and my dad died an hour later. Sorry this makes me sound awful and like im running my husband down but i just don't know what else to do, if i bring things up he thinks im having a go at him but all i want is for him to be tidier and to help with the boys a bit more.

shelley1979 Wed 24-Oct-12 15:35:12

Thankyou MrsTerryPratchett

MrsTerryPratchett Wed 24-Oct-12 15:43:54

He sounds like he is an expert in what we call "baby avoidance work" in our house. We call it that and laugh about it. It means that I am not 'nagging' but he gets the message. Now, DH even says, "'I'm taking the rubbish out, it needs doing, it's not baby avoidance work".

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now