To take DS to a family party and stay lateish?(43 Posts)
We are currently planning MIL's 60th Bday party. The plan is a boat trip from 3-6pm and then a meal in a restaurant (probably hiring a separate room because there will be about 30 people). DS will be about 11 months old. Currently he is 6 months old and goes to bed at about 7pm. From about 6 45 he gets really arsey and screams until he is put to bed. So how can I take him to this party? If I took him and left him to snooze in the corner do you think this would work? I think MIL would be ever so disappointed if I took him home after the boat trip (also I don't want to miss a party!). The restaurant is a 20 minute bus ride + 10 min walk from home.
AIBU to take him? WWYD?
WWID? Personally I would not take him, he will probably be tired and grizzly from the boat trip. Your MIL will still see him earlier, I am sure she will understand it is his bed time.
I would leave him at home with a babysitter is WIWD
From what you say he gets grumpy when it is bedtime. With all the excitement it would be unlikely that he will snooze in a corner. You will get stressed out due to the crying and screaming.
If it were my party I wouldn't be bothered if small children didn't attend - I am not a GP but it is quiteunderstandable that an evening event can be for adults only.
Take him, totally. I took DS1 now 10 to a NYE party, a low key dinner type party and he slept through the whole thing, we pushed him home at 1am in the pouring rain! This is the best time to take them out to stuff eg: they don't move.
Just push him round the block when/if he screams and till het gets off to sleep, the return to the party, then just keep pushing the pram back and forth occasionally to ensure he stays asleep.
Yes take him.
What I would do with either of the DD's is when they get scratchy, put them in buggy and take them for a short walk until they are asleep, then cover buggy over and leave in discrete safe corner.
A sling might also be useful - but my DD's would sleep in a sling really well, but for your night it is better to get DS down in the buggy.
I agree this is the best age to do things like this with them. I've taken both babies to many events/parties/dinners and got them to sleep in the buggy no problems.
I bet your MIL would change her mind sharpish were DS to scream and grizzle throughout the meal. Dangerous age and dangerous time of day for a restaurant.
Take him on the boat trip, go back home and settle him w/ a babysitter, then go to the restaurant and enjoy some adult time. If MIL objects, mention screaming. A lot.
FFS take him!
We take ours to family parties, weddings and have done since they were tiny. They sleep in the buggy, have cuddles with friends and family.
In 5 months time he might be walking!!
Go for it, it is one day and will mean so much to his granny. You will probably find they fall asleep on the boat due to the motion also all the people fussing over them at the meal will keep most baby happier past normal bedtime. Take an extra yoghurt and extra milk, an extra milk feed in a quiet corner can calm them when over stimulated.
I would have worried about this scenario with DC1 but now DC4 is 10 months and we are going to a family get together on sat night starting at 6.30pm. All 4 of mine are usually in bed by 7.30pm. Taking pram for the baby to nap in and know the kids will enjoy getting together with their cousins.
Take him and he can sleep in his pram (take a pram) he won't melt if he is out past his bedtime but if you fancy a bit of time to yourself could you get a baby sitter for later on maybe somebody can come and pick him up and take him home for bed , but I don't see the problem taking him out on a special occasion
In 5 months time his routine and sleep pattern could change dramatically. I'd see how he is nearer the time.
When ds2 was 11 months, I could have took him on the boat trip, then let him sleep in his buggy for a bit, then freshen him up to join the restaurant a little later.
Then he gets a sleep and Jo one misses out.
But it depends how he is at the time.
Five months is a long time to predict how a baby will be behaving at bed time!
I think take him if you want, but personally I would spend the next 5 months finding someone who could collect him from the boat trip and take him home to bed while you go on for dinner. We did this once for a party, the children were picked up at 6 ish and we then stayed late. It worked really well. The children got to be cooed over but went home before they became less charming!
I wouldn't take him.
Can his other grandma not have him for the day?
Ooh, deja vu! We took DD out for "late" meal, with MiL, who didn't want to hear about only one of us going, and one staying with DD. (No chance of a babysitter, sadly) We took her pram, teddy, favourite blanket, etc. She grumped through the meal, picked at food, then
some bastard someone decided to give her "just a little sip" of coke, "look, that's cheered her up". Then there was screaming, crying, and me walking her up and down, freezing my arse off outside without my coat. We left early, got home at 9, finally got her to sleep about half 10. WWID? Book a babysitter, or send DH alone. Sorry.
We have also done late events at people houses that have been great. Being able to let DD run about with her cousins, or friends DCs, she handles it just fine. Being cooped up, excited and tired is not a good combo.
I wouldn't have kept DD up that late at that age - I would as a one off now as she's three and will sleep in late the next day to compensate. When she was eleven months she would have got really overtired and cranky and been a nightmare the next day too. That's just my experience though. Your child may be completely different and just nod off at the party.
MrsMango - do you take her out though? Or was that a total one off?
IMO, if you always and without fail have your DC in bed by 7pm and there is never any variation, then of course they don't learn that different situations are still fine - just different!
So the one off turns into a disaster because it is totally unfamiliar territory.
We have always taken ours out, and they are flexible, sociable, and happy as long as DH and I are there and they have a few favourite items (blanket, special toys etc).
Everlong - for the whole day? So it is MILs special party, and she doesn't get to see her grandchild because he has been sent away to his other grandmother? Seems a shame for everyone.
WWID? Well, I took DD3 to my friend's hen night (meal out in restaurant, just 5 of us) when she was 7 months old, so I think you can tell what I'd do
It might work if you're prepared to miss a bit of the meal. I spent half an hour sitting on the landing outside a function room rocking DS to sleep in his pushchair when he was about 12 months as it was a family party and I didn't want to take him home if I didn't have to! I had every doom-monger in the family walk past and say darkly "he'll never sleep" but he did eventually drop off and then sleep through the disco etc very soundly. I spent the half hour just soothing DS, rocking the pushchair while drinking wine and checking MN/FB on my phone, so it was really quite pleasant! I did know that he would sleep eventually, though.
Depends, would your ILs be annoyed with a crying, gizzly baby throughout the meal? If so, take him, otherwise, I'd say if they want children there,they need to plan a childfriendly event, an evening meal is not baby friendly...
As a compromise, could your mum collect DS after the boat ride so that MIL has had him there for the childfriendly bit but not for the grownup meal bit?
(also remember, at 11months you'll have a crawling baby, on a boat this could be hard work...)
YANBU to take him if you want to, and if MiL wants him there.
If you were asking WWYD? though, I'd get a babysitter and go and enjoy myself without having a tired, whingy, or even screaming child to look after on the evening, and then the grumpiness over the next few days.
Are you really concerning yourself with this 5 months in advance??? Crikey. See how you feel about it when you get there it is almost half a year away ffs!
I agree with the posters who pointed out that his routine/behaviour might change in 5 months.
I would have taken mine, as it is a family celebration. Plus, lots of relatives to look after him and distract him.
Basically you've got five months to find a babysitter who you and DS are happy with. We don't know what he'll be like in five months, he might still be the baby from hell at 6.45 every night, he might have become an angel. But it's worth starting to look for one anyway - then maybe when you and DH have the energy/spare cash to go out and enjoy yourselves without DS, you'll have a babysitter ready on tap.
Take him! Do people really not take their babies out?
My ds is 6m we've just got back from two weeks holiday and a wedding where we were out every night for meals and a couple of drinks after. He would fall asleep between seven and eight, usually during dinner, then sleep in his pram. They are so portable. We weren't home before 11 the whole holiday but as far as he was concerned normal bedtime remained!
We used to take ours out to family parties and wedding when they were this age. At their bedtime we would put them in the buggy and walk around until they went to sleep, after that they would quite happily sleep in the corner.
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