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To be shocked by people's disbelief to dyslexia?

(52 Posts)
Bizarrelife Wed 24-Oct-12 08:15:48

My dc are bright, intelligent, articulate people. They are however also severely dyslexic.

I have seeked assistance for them as their written work was not matching any of their other skills. I obtained educational pyschologist's report that showed their difficulties. Interestingly they have different dyslexia issues, not the same. One has a photographic memory and can learn 'pictures' to draw words but cannot process audio instructions. The other can process audio instructions but cannot follow images.

Having shown their teachers the reports to get them help I have had the following the responses:

Headteacher - everyone's dyslexic we all have trouble with some words, no help is required

SENCO!!! teacher - there is no such thing as dyslexia they just can't spell.

"Friends" - aren't they just being lazy, they could write properly if they tried, you can't be good at everything...

AIBU to feel so frustrated in trying to get some help for my dc over dyslexia, I thought we had moved on in the last 20 years and that it was now recognised, oh how wrong I am!

MyLastDuchess Wed 24-Oct-12 08:25:07

I'm amazed. I have a friend who can't read numbers at all (forget the name) and having seen her struggle with it just once, I was convinced.

The head teacher is talking rubbish, some of us have no trouble with words at all (I would be one of those).

People never cease to amaze me, the way they think we are all the same.

catstail Wed 24-Oct-12 08:26:09

omg it is so infuriating, I have had same experiences with various tutors BUT your situation is far worse than mine as the whole of the school is being actively unsupportive. I would really consider a move elsewhere if I were you.

If dyslexic children do not get the right kind of support they often end up being labelled and then having a self fulfilling prophecy of being lazy or stupid, becoming a trouble maker and ultimately disengaged with education - this is a very real risk in the longer term with the wrong school environment

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 24-Oct-12 08:30:18

This annoys me. IMO it is a scam to let schools/LEAs avoid having to deal with dyslexic children. IIRC there was some very shonky 'research' claiming that, since the methods for teaching all children to read through phonics should be ideal for dyslexics, therefore dyslexia is a condition caused by bad teaching, not a 'real' problem.

Which is really convincing, you know, except for the part where there are still children like yours who're struggling.

Can you write to the head and ask what her official stance on dyslexia is? And find out what your LEA says about it too? Both the LEA and the school should have an official policy on support for children with specific learning difficulties.

MikeLitorisBites Wed 24-Oct-12 08:31:03

Not surprised. Heard lots of the same with my Ds.

When another child at the school was told he was possibly dyslexic, his dad made a 'joke' about catching it from my Ds angry

crashdoll Wed 24-Oct-12 08:32:34

Wow, I've known some people who have said dyslexia is overdiagnosed and even hinted that people with dyslexia need to try harder but a headteacher and a SENCO. Awful!! Have they seen the ED psych's report? If I were you, I would whip my kids out of that school asap if possible.

JeezyOrangePips Wed 24-Oct-12 08:37:38

I know your pain.

My son has several 'symptoms' of dyslexia - including non-writing things like using his knife and fork in the 'wrong' hands and struggling to learn to tie shoelaces.

I had to push his school to test him, and he does now get support. But it's for his spelling.

The results of the test (as I was told) are that 'he doesn't show signs of severe dyslexia'.

Never did get an answer to 'okay, but does he have dyslexia?'. It was a case of 'well, he certainly has issues with his spelling and writing'.


nextphase Wed 24-Oct-12 08:43:45

I feel your pain - tho linked to me, not my kids (yet!).
Apparently I can't possibly be dyslexic, as I'm not thick!
Tho being clever has advantages - you can find alternative ways round things, it sometimes just hides the true problems for longer.

What would be the impact if your child with audio issues wrote things down as they are told to him, and then he processes them later?

Agree with finding a more supportive school if possible.

boschy Wed 24-Oct-12 08:45:46

Find a dyslexia-friendly school as soon as you can, and move your kids there. (Doesnt have to be private!! - we moved from one state primary to another and the difference was unbelievable).

In the right school they will put in strategies to help your DC - with my oldest for example, copying from the board was a major problem, so every day she had the basics of what would be on the board (date, subject, learning objective etc) printed out and on the table in front of her. They also investigated other strategies, like those coloured overlays for reading etc which she couldnt get on with but still...

Dyslexia doesnt have to be severe to be a problem in life.

Bizarrelife Wed 24-Oct-12 08:51:52

It's hard to explain nextphase but I'll try:

If the dc with audio issues was told in geography:

Describe the different points of the richter scale for an earthquake.

She could tell you exactly what it was, she'd "write" either very simply to get the spelling right, therefore leave the difficult stuff out, and get less marks, or write it as she'd tell you, but it'd be unreadable.

If given a list of instructions to do, Ed psych has described her being like a short tape recorder, because trying to remember instruction, every time you give an additional instruction she deletes the one before so say:

Go upstairs, and get your socks, and put on your shoes. She'd put on her shoes.

(She does now know to put socks on before shoes, but I'm just trying to demonstrate how her brain works).

karron Wed 24-Oct-12 08:54:01

What get's me with dyslexia is sometimes a child is given a diagnosis but have little understanding of what it means. They seem to think it equals stupid not realising it means that their brains not designed for writing because it specialises in other areas instead.

Bizarrelife Wed 24-Oct-12 08:54:22

I have told my kids that I only want to hear

'I have done x despite being dyslexic'


'I can't do x because I'm dyslexic'

I am researching CrEST schools for them in the hope that I can get them somewhere, I'm just so shocked at how it seems to be across the board that dyslexia does not exist.

boschy Wed 24-Oct-12 08:54:29

"She could tell you exactly what it was, she'd "write" either very simply to get the spelling right, therefore leave the difficult stuff out, and get less marks, or write it as she'd tell you, but it'd be unreadable."

This is my DD to a T. I really do feel your pain.

freddiefrog Wed 24-Oct-12 08:54:48

I feel your pain.

We're going through this with my DD at the moment with dyspraxia. Our school are great but everyone else we've been involved with have been as much use as a chocolate teapot.

Find your local Parent Partnership. They've been fantastic here

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 24-Oct-12 08:56:31

My mum had that attitude, bizarre. Nice. I got to 25 before I realized it was actually ok to admit I did have an actual, diagnosed problem and it did mean I couldn't manage some things. It was really fun feeling like a failure when I struggled before that, though.

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 24-Oct-12 08:57:04

Sorry, that was really harsh.

theflyingfuck Wed 24-Oct-12 09:02:17

I had the opposite problem, I have dyspraxia and a lot of the tendencies can appear to be just like dyslexia, I was also g + t so it was very hard to get anyone to listen, then when I was tested it was a case of "sorry, youre not dyslexic, you havent got an excuse you are just stupid, get on with it and stop making excuses" it wasnt until I was much older and did a more complicated test that dyspraxia was mentioned. There wasnt much they can do by then though.

boschy Wed 24-Oct-12 09:02:24

Bizarre/LRD : I see both your points, and I am trying to tread a fine line down the middle - acknowledge that there are real significant difficulties, but also try to help DD find a way around them - go round not over the mountain I guess.

It is not easy, and sometimes (not often) I come down to hard on her and she will cry and say that I dont realise how much she struggles which stops me in my tracks.

honeytea Wed 24-Oct-12 09:02:46

I am so angry on behalf of your children angry Is a school move a possibility?

I am dyslexic and very simple things like remembering which went on 1st shampoo or conditioner took me years to learn. When I first started wearing a bra I would often get into the bath with my bra on as it wasn't in the rutine of getting ready for a bath.

I would go as far as to say the teachers should not just be supporting the chirdren in finding new ways of learning so as to lesson the effects of their dyslexia they should be pointing out the things that the kids are good at because they are dyslexic. Foe me I was amazing at jigsaws, I could do a 2000 bit jigsaw by myself at 4/5.

DinosaursOnASpaceship Wed 24-Oct-12 09:10:30

My ds1 is dyslexic (informally as we were told by the SENCO that they no longer recognise or assess for dyslexia but that she was certain he was and for the last few years he has been taught within dyslexic guidelines etc but it's called a specific learning difficulty instead)

He is smart and bright. Knows loads of useful (and useless) facts and could talk for ages about pyramids or science stuff but can't articulate it in writing or read very well. He watches documentarys and picks a lot of stuff up from asking questions. He enjoys drawing and does really detailed pictures.

I am very proud of him. When we looked at secondary schools for September (sob) my main priority was the special needs department. Interestingly one of the secondary schools does and will formally test him for dyslexia - they said this was because they had become an academy and were no longer so tightly tied by the local authority.

One of my friends managed to upset me though when she was pregnant - he husband is dyslexic and she spent ages fretting that her child would have a disability like his dad and be thick. Insensitive much? It is to early to tell whether her child is or isn't dyslexic but she has decided not to have anymore children as the risk of passing it on is too great - Not being the best at reaso or writing is hardly the end of the world! Some of the best and brightest throughout history have had dyslexia. I wouldn't change my son for anything.

Bizarrelife Wed 24-Oct-12 09:14:55

LRD point taken.
I don't want my kids just giving up on English. They have the school telling them they are just bad at English and people are either good at Maths or English, and that is very normal and nothing to be bothered by.

They have taken that to be they are rubbish at English and that's that.

I'm trying to get them to do English at what ever level they can, and hand in work that they've done despite being dyslexic, rather than not even trying as they can't.

Mrsjay Wed 24-Oct-12 09:16:44

The Special Educational Needs teacher said there is no such thing WHAT ! I would go to your LEA and complain and ask for you children to be helped. DD was diagnosed with DCD (dyspraxia) in Primary she is now in high school and thriving , it was a bit rocky to start with but now they provide scribes for tests and she will be scribed for her exams next year, Schools are supposed to provide for all childrens educational needs,

cinnamonnut Wed 24-Oct-12 09:16:54

That is upsetting. I think it is because of overdiagnosis that cases like yours aren't taken more seriously. My DF now struggles to believe it because he works for a company which has students working there for a year or two. He said they are all appalling at spelling and every year 90% of them say they are dyslexic.

Eve Wed 24-Oct-12 09:17:36

My son has auditory dyslexia , cant process verbally so phonics are a struggle for him.

Both his Primary and secondary schools are excellent and he has had superb support from before his diagnosis.

Guess we are lucky but I can't fault his school or teachers.

LRDtheFeministDragon Wed 24-Oct-12 09:18:51

I'm sorry, I posted like a twat, bizarre, thank you for being so nice.

I do know what you mean and I do completely agree it is really important to know you can be dyslexic and still good at English (and other things).

cinnamon - he's not in engineering is he? A very high proportion of engineers are dyslexic - it does tend to be that people go into particular subject areas. It's not necessarily over diagnosis.

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