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to want DH to come home on Saturdat night?

(16 Posts)
nothingbyhalves Tue 23-Oct-12 19:16:33

DH is going out with his mates on saturday night and as they all live 50 miles away close to MIL, he is staying there. No problem so far. He rarely goes out, and deserves a break.

BUT his nephew is unwell in uni, in fact in hospital, where he has been for over a week. SIL has not been to see him as neice is kicking off and refusing to go to school etc. Dad not on scene, kids refuse to have anything to do with him as he was and is a horrid spiteful excuse for a human being. I offered to go and look after niece, and get her to school etc so SIL can drive the 200 miles to see her son, but she doesn't see the point (?!) He is hopefully getting out of hospital Saturday, so SIL has asked DH to drive her down to pick up our nephew as her car isn't big enough to get his TV in? DH does have an estate, but her car an astra isn't exactly a mini! So the plan is now for him to stay up on friday night so they can make a early start to pick up nephew as SIL is a hour closer than we are. Then DH will stay up and go out with his mates, be hungover and i possibly won't see him all weekend , leaving me to look after DT's.

Its just unfortunate its happened on the same weekend. But do feel like why does DH have to pick up nephew? Our older nephew is also available to help, but its fallen to DH. SIL is always calling on DH to sort out her crisis.

Reading back I do sound like a bitch, but before now DH has had to dash off to sort out family issues leaving me with sick child who ended up in hospital AND when I was in hospital while pregnant with DT's he had to dash off to pick up FIL from hospital, whilst SIL was off work but too stressed out to deal with it.

Sorry for ramble on, but didn't want to drip feed. AIBU? (Be gentle please)

BeaWheesht Tue 23-Oct-12 19:22:02

I suspect you aren't being entirely unreasonable but I reckon you're going to have to suck it up.

Couldn't he stay with you fri night? Or couldn't you all go visit mil?

nothingbyhalves Tue 23-Oct-12 19:25:49

I know i'm going to have to suck it up. I was supposed to be going out with th egirls on friday night, but that will have to go on the back burner now......

BeaWheesht Tue 23-Oct-12 19:28:30

Oh hmmm in that case he stays fri night

PfftTheMagicDraco Tue 23-Oct-12 19:38:22

It's a one off. suck it up.

TidyGOLDDancer Tue 23-Oct-12 19:40:22

If it's every weekend - YANBU.

If it's one weekend - YABU.

MrsKeithRichards Tue 23-Oct-12 19:46:13

He's helping family out and obviously wants to or he would have said no. Yabu, it's a pain but not a daily event.

nothingbyhalves Tue 23-Oct-12 19:58:15

I do realise IABU, but just peed off to be left holding together OUR family whilst he goes off to sort out his sisters. This isn't an isolated incident. She relies on Dh.

TidyGOLDDancer Tue 23-Oct-12 20:56:23

Well there's nothing wrong with her relying on him, it's how it impacts on your lives that could be a problem. Helping her out now and then is not something I would consider to be a major issue, that's why you need to make a distinction between being annoyed at him for going on this weekend, and being annoyed at him helping her full stop.

Whether or not YABU relies very much on how often this happens and how much of his time is taken up.

PfftTheMagicDraco Tue 23-Oct-12 23:26:39

But his sisters are YOUR family.

nothingbyhalves Wed 24-Oct-12 22:22:50

She is not OUR family. family doesn't charge each other for childcare in my mind. SIL does charge us for childcare. Have sucked it up. but stated clearly SIL can pay for the petrol.

MrsKeithRichards Wed 24-Oct-12 22:24:52

Sounds like there's other issue's...

PfftTheMagicDraco Wed 24-Oct-12 23:11:39

Well if there are other issues that is different. But I responded based on the OP, which is all that I can do. If you are going to drip feed...

nothingbyhalves Thu 25-Oct-12 10:27:09

sorry didn't mean to drip feed, but such a long story........

StaceeJaxx Thu 25-Oct-12 10:30:41

Actually YANBU. If you have to cancel your night out on Friday because he has to be at SIL's then why the hell can't he cancel his night out on Saturday night and get his arse home? Seems unfair to me.

blackeyedsusan Thu 25-Oct-12 11:33:08

I think you are probably being a bit unreasonable.... about this occasion.. but that is because he has prioritised them over you on occasions when you and dc's should have come first.. so it is no difficult to see it clearly now.

i do think that you and dc's are not getting the priority that you deserve and whetheror not you are being unreasonable should be taken in context. overall he is being unreasonable. whether or not over this incident is more difficult to tell.

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