DSis just 6. He is bright, funny, affectionate and great fun. DH and I feel he is pretty well behaved- he is rarely naughty, no tantrums or strops. School are happy with him, his teacher finds him to be well behaved and praised him for his enthusiasm for learning and in general.
DS and I have just been away with my cousin. She has a DD, aged 10 who is incredibly well bahaved, she is a really lovely girl. Her personality is different to DS' though, she is quite timid, and quite easily upset. I thought this was her natural personality, but having witnessed my cousins parenting style I am not so sure.
In an nutshell she is much much stricter than I feel is necessary. She feels I am too lenient and this has shaken my conviction in my own parenting.
She seems to be constantly telling her (and my) DC off for something, often things that I wouldn't feel needed saying. For example, DS was constantly pulled up on his table manners (DS is a brilliant eater but has to be reminded about elbows and eating with his mouth shut), told off for running in the woods in case he fell (I felt he was just having fun, and don't mind him falling unless there is something dangerous to fall into), told off for asking for another biscuit, told off for wanting to jump from a very high platform at the park, the list goes on.
I felt my cousin was stamping the 'life' out of my lively DS, she felt she was doing me a favour because he is naughty. He never once actually disobeyed her or me, but was constantly bring told off until I wanted to scream.
When I spoke out I was accused of not bring able to see that he is a little monkey.
I do admit that DS' second cousin is better behaved than him. But she seems to me to live in fear of being told off. For example, she was afraid of admitting to feeling car sick so she eventually threw up without warning and she cried buckets when she accidentally pushed DS over (he was fine about it).
Sorry for the epic post. Part of me feels worried that I gave a blinkered view of how strict I should be- but part of me thinks my cousin is overdoing the discipline and that an impeccably behaved child isn't necessarily a sign of well balanced parenting.
AIBU?
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AIBU?
To think my Cousin is too strict, and feel she is over disciplining DS?
66 replies
owlelf · 21/10/2012 21:19
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