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To use or give up my space on a pnd group?

(8 Posts)
F1rstT1meMummy Sun 21-Oct-12 19:27:16

My lovely dd is 16 months old. I have back to work since may. However just before I went back I felt terrible and went to the dr.

I, as many found being a new mum a challenge. It wasn't so much being a mum and the stuff that came with it. It was more the other stuff I had to do.

As time went on and my dd was growing away I became more insolated. I was a very outgoing and social person but I then found myself not having time to go out to baby groups because I needed to have tea Cooked and house tidy for when DH came home! Yes - v sad a I know.

I have never Been able to work out if I was like this because I was suffering from pnd or because of my DH. He used to get funny with me if tea wasn't done. It if I had been out and not tidied up or emptied the dishwasher. On top of this I needed to walk out dog everyday- a job he has never done!

Cue a massive breakdown and me feeling I was unable to cope and nearly ending my marriage. I wasn't sure and still am not sure if it was due to my husband bein an arse or due to new mummy-ness.

Also on top I was breast feeding- so even if I was at home a lot of time was spent feeding my boon loving dd.

In may, I visited a outreach service who referred me to a pnd support group. I have just been offered a place.

I don't know whether to take it or not. I feel a lot better. Still struggle to cope juggling everything but no where near as much and I don't think it's any more than the average person!

There are some other factors - the group is on a work day so I would need to take time off. But in the other hand we are crazy and are ttc so would the group be helpful anyway.

I would hate to use the space that someone ro is desperately unhappy could use.

Would I be unreasonable to go to the group?

I am so confused. DH thinks I should!

Sorry for any typos and if its unreadable. I'm on my phone!

GhostShip Sun 21-Oct-12 19:29:22

Not unreasonable at all. If you want to go and feel you will benefit from it, please go. I volunteer for PANDA and they're brilliant.

BabsJansen Sun 21-Oct-12 19:31:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CrapBag Sun 21-Oct-12 19:33:23

You should go and see how you feel after. You may think you are doing ok but you could still be in need of that support.

I had PND twice. The first time it got really bad and I didn't do anything until DS was 5 months. After DD I was much more aware of the symptoms and I thought I was ok. DH told me that I wasn't and I mentioned it to my doctor at my 6 weekd check so got myself sorted sooner which made it so much better for me as a mum 2nd time around and I felt better quicker as well.

If you feel that you don't need it afterall, then you can always leave them.

I didn't even know they had groups like this. Sounds great. Nice to know that you are not the only person to feel the way you do and that it is totally. normal.

WorrisomeHeart Sun 21-Oct-12 19:34:07

I would go. I was in a similar position in that I developed PND straight after the birth of my DS in Oct 2012. I was quickly put onto anti-ds and by the time the group rolled around in Jan, I was starting to feel much more like myself. I discussed it with my DH and the HV who was running the group, as I didn't want to waste the place, or take it away from someone more in need and both encouraged me to go. DH made the point that my experience could help someone who was still in the grip of it and the HV suggested that the coping techniques discussed might help. As it was, I felt it was a very cathartic experience. I also found myself growing in confidence as I was able to get Ds and myself to each weekly session without scuttling back home. Go for it!

F1rstT1meMummy Sun 21-Oct-12 22:00:41

Thanks! I think I am going to go.... Just not sure what to tell work!

McHappyPants2012 Sun 21-Oct-12 22:18:02

Tell your works the reason for the appointment, there is no shame in having PND and by law your boss must keep it confidential.

I hope you take the appointment and wish you all the best controlling your PND

BabsJansen Sun 21-Oct-12 22:26:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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