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To demand my mother come and stay 10 days before due date.

(95 Posts)
debbie1412 Sun 21-Oct-12 12:14:58

I feel like the biggest twat going today. There's been some debate as to when my mum should come and stay with us so she can look after dc1 2 years. Im 38+4 and getting anxious about her being a 3 hour drive away. She doesn't drive so if I start going in the night it would be a mission to get her here. She wanted to come nxt wk end making me 39+3.
After having fairly sharp braxtons in the night I've woke up this morning, created blue murder on the phone demanding she come stay as off today as dp can pick her up without having to risk life and death belting up the motorway if I do start in the night.
So anyway she's now coming today and I'm feeling foolish and embarrassed. I'm praying I don't go 2 weeks over due as that's her down here for nearly a month.
Have i been a moron???
Dc1 was born at 39+4 ( think that's adding to my panic )

ChippyMinton Sun 21-Oct-12 12:17:27

Oh dear smile
Hopefully she'll understand your fretting - she's agreed to come after all.

NotQuintAtAllOhNo Sun 21-Oct-12 12:18:42

Well Time Will Tell.


gordyslovesheep Sun 21-Oct-12 12:19:42

well you know YABU - my dd1 was born at 37+5, dd2 on her due date and DD3 10 days over due - you don't know when you will birth

maybe it would be fairer on your mum to have somebody close to where you live on stand by to have your child so you don't have to wait for your mum?

PurplePidjInAPointyHat Sun 21-Oct-12 12:19:52

A little bit, but very understandably so!

Buy a bunch of her favourite flowers, cook her favourite dinner tonight, apologise for being a hormonal mess, and show her how grateful you are for her support smile

waltermittymissus Sun 21-Oct-12 12:21:26

Well you haven't been very nice have you?

Demanding that she come today?

Are you asking if you WBU to throw demands down the phone?!

I suppose you've an excuse of sorts in your condition. I do get a bit shocked sometimes on here about how people treat and expect things from their parents!

OnlyWantsOne Sun 21-Oct-12 12:23:02

I think YABU to demand any one does any thing.

However you are heavily pregnant so I won't say a word.

I had really strong braxtons with dd2 and she was 4 days past due date

Good luck

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 21-Oct-12 12:25:03

erm, I think you may have jumped the gun somewhat

I don't get your urgency, tbh

you have a partner, yes ? Will he/she have no role to play at all when you go into labour ?

whois Sun 21-Oct-12 12:28:03

Totally U!

Partner stays with kids until mum gets there? Friend stays with kids until mum gets there?

SavoyCabbage Sun 21-Oct-12 12:30:01

Yes Yabu, but you know thatgrin.

Can you do anything about it now so that she doesn't have to come quite do early? You could then try to make a back up plan for somebody else to step in if necessary.

squeakytoy Sun 21-Oct-12 12:32:19

YABU. Surely you can ask a friend or relative who lives close by to cover the three hours it would take for your mum to get there when you are actually in labour.

GhostShip Sun 21-Oct-12 12:33:33


KenLeeeeeee Sun 21-Oct-12 12:34:02

Yeah, you know YABU, but she's on her way now so the best you can do is to be humble & apologetic for being so demanding and make sure you appreciate her being there.

FWIW, I spent a month in slow labour wth ds3 and he was still 4 days late.

mrsbugsywugsy Sun 21-Oct-12 12:34:03

hmm, don't lots of people say they felt very irritable and bad tempered just before they went into labour?

You are being unreasonable, but if you are normally a lovely, calm, rational person then maybe your out of character unreasonableness is actually a sign you are about to have the baby?

Mrsjay Sun 21-Oct-12 12:36:27

your Poor mum I would have told you to not be so hysterical , and say I will come soon anyway you are hysterical and paniking I guess your mum is coming now I do hope you go on your due date though or your mum will need to stay for 4ish week grin you could have got a neighbour or somebody to cover, your mum lives 3 hours away hardly fair is it,

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 21-Oct-12 12:36:58

you will have to think of lots of ways to entertain her

otherwise she is potentially going to be sat around twiddling her thumbs for up to 4 weeks

and getting very pissed off with you

crazyhatlady Sun 21-Oct-12 12:46:57

YABU. How quickly do expect to give birth?

Hospitals round here don't let you near the place until you are crawling round the floor in agony!

bigmouthstrikesagain Sun 21-Oct-12 12:47:21

This is soo familiar as I demanded my mother come and stay when I was roughly 37 weeks as I had a night in hospital when I had the'show at around 36 weeks. I also had ds1 aged 18 months and was in a panic about my planned homebirth and having dh 2 hours away in London. In the end we drove each other batty and Ma went home on the Sunday while I ended up having dd1 in the early hours of the following Tues at 39 weeks!

Getting rid of Mum was the best thing for me DH was around for the birth and ds1 was aleep for most of it - my waters broke just after I had put him to bed. The in-laws came and took ds away shortly after I had dd1. Mum arrived the next day for a quick visit and all was well.

Debbie - you should definately have your Mum around if it helps you feel calmer but do not be surprised if you are driving each other mad within a few days! Good luck with your birth smile

CarpeThingy Sun 21-Oct-12 12:53:50

Goodness, how hysterical, and not even a first-timer. I can't imagine doing that to my Mum, and if I was your Mum you'd have lost a lot of my goodwill.

alphabite Sun 21-Oct-12 12:58:29

What if you are a week late? It's a long time for her to stay.

MrsMiniversCharlady Sun 21-Oct-12 12:58:40

Now you will have an audience when you do go into labour....

Unless you have a history of fast labour, I think you're being a bit ott.

mutny Sun 21-Oct-12 13:01:00

Yabu and your 'condition' is not excuse tbh.

MrsDeVere Sun 21-Oct-12 13:04:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CailinDana Sun 21-Oct-12 13:06:24

I would say YABU but I'm afraid you might sit on me so have a big bar of chocolate instead while I keep schtum. You were silly, yes, but your mother will forgive you I'm sure.

I am also pregnant so I understand the Unreasonable Rage.

CarpeThingy Sun 21-Oct-12 13:06:32

Is there some reason why you don't have a closer person who can do it? Or a different way for your Mum to get to you? It seems very complex if it has to be your Mum, who lives 3 hours away and doesn't drive, who comes to look after your oldest - and if it has to be your dh who drives her, when the time comes. Does that mean 3 hours each way (so 6 hours)?

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