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AIBU TO ASK FOR HELLLLLLP?!?!

(28 Posts)
JazzyTheSnowman Sat 20-Oct-12 18:39:22

OK, so this is in totally the wrong section and I'm really sorry but I need help!

DP has just told me that we're going out next Saturday with our friends for Hallowe'en, but I have absolutely no costume ideas. It's apparently "necessary" and to be honest I don't mind it but I'm a bit nervous.

I know that DP loves me, but there's this one girl that always ends up coming to these things and when she's had a few she's very grabby, especially to my DP. She's like a bad porno - "Oh no I spilled something all over me let me just wipe myself suggestively". She's even made comments about me being "a bit boring-looking" and not very fun. She's always very apologetic about it if ever confronted but it's happened so often now that it's a bit of an "eyeroll" situation IYSWIM?

So I want a costume idea that won't end up too short, but that will flaunt my cleavage from here to Timbuctu. Always been my best assets and I want to make the most of them...

to shove it in her face that she's not the only one who can be sexy and to show her that I'm not fucking boring I'm just not a massive whore

So anybody got any ideas for costumes?

(P.S Yes know this is really petty and I'm lowering myself to her level, but it might just work!)

Devora Sat 20-Oct-12 18:41:14

Erm. I think you will find absolutely no shortage of Halloween dressing up costumes that allow you to get your tits out. In fact, it's far harder to find ones that don't.

CSIJanner Sat 20-Oct-12 18:43:29

Buxom vampire serving wench? Assets then you show your fangs when you smile...

slatternlymother Sat 20-Oct-12 18:43:45

Wow, she sounds like a total loser!

I know you don't want to hear it, but I really wouldn't stoop to her level. Dress up, be fun and if she makes any comments; the old MN staple 'did you mean to sound so rude?' Will knock her right back down to size, especially said in front of plenty of people!

There's a lot to be said for just looking nice. There's a reason she is single. Not many men want to be paired with someone so suggestive!

HyvaPaiva Sat 20-Oct-12 18:44:19

These are really cheap options from Asda but they are very 'cleave-y' grin

Dark Angel

Vampiress

Sock it to 'em, Jazzy, I like your style!

PomBearWithAnOFRS Sat 20-Oct-12 18:47:02

OR.. get a pale blue costume of whatever design you like, anything from leotard and tights or flowing frock, or just a track suit, then stick or stitch cutted up see what I did there? huh? huh? didja? cloud shapes on it, cut from an old sheet or even old carrier bags, whatever you can find.
Carry one of those plant mister squirty bottles (or a supersoaker) full of water and squirt the bitch anyone you like wink - You're "Cloudy With A Chance of Rain" grin
<takes a bow>

MajesticWhine Sat 20-Oct-12 18:47:38

search ebay for Sexy Vampiress Halloween Costume. You will get loads of results, starting quite cheap

slatternlymother Sat 20-Oct-12 18:48:17

Or, if she says anything; 'you do look a bit tired, love. Were you up all night thinking of that one? Get to bed around 2,2:30?'

She needs knocking right back in her place. Be a bit aggressive. Ask her if she meant to sound so rude. Or tell her putting people down doesn't get you a boyfriend any quicker. Clearly.

SweetBabyJebus Sat 20-Oct-12 18:48:47

Mortitia Adams, doesn't get more sexy-scary then her. And DH can go as Gomez!

slatternlymother Sat 20-Oct-12 18:49:09

<applauds pombear love it!

Iteotwawki Sat 20-Oct-12 18:50:30

Quite like this one -

Reaper

Lots of other stuff out there seems to be a variation of corset / tutu combo in black & red with cape, not sure how short "too short" is!

Combine black corset / shortish skirt (can always add extra length with layers of lace) with fangs & short cape? Or wrap stained bandages around your cleavage (carefully) and team with ripped white skirt (red stained), white face paint for the buxom zombie look?

pumpkinsweetie Sat 20-Oct-12 18:51:00

Try a sexy snow white costume or sexy pink witch costume-ebay do nice ones smile
Show her what your made of and put her back in her place!

goodiegoodieyumyum Sat 20-Oct-12 18:51:41

Lovbe your idea pombear

glenthebattleostrich Sat 20-Oct-12 18:55:31

Go dressed as a witch her and tell her with a big smile that she inspired your costume

kasbah72 Sat 20-Oct-12 18:55:39

Google Morticia Adams costume - the friend to all those needing to flaunt their cleavage!

Elvira?

swooosh Sat 20-Oct-12 19:09:55

Take a look at Leg Avenue costumes...bit pricey but good deals on ebay.

JazzyTheSnowman Sat 20-Oct-12 19:43:52

Thanks all - she's an utter loser. She's got no major relationship, no kids, still with her parents in the same room she's been in all her life, stuck in a dead-end job that's going absolutely nowhere and I'm pretty sure she drinks and parties to get away from it all and feel a bit more lively.

Thing is, she can be quite nice. I catch a glimpse of that "nice" person every so often but it's always beaten back by the twattish front she seems to put up. Drives me round the bend!

Softlysoftly Sat 20-Oct-12 19:48:57

Wear whatever you want and state loudly "I found it do hard to find a costume that didn't make me look like a desperate over the hill tart" while eyeballing her.

LFCisTarkaDahl Sat 20-Oct-12 19:53:31

A basque, stockings, heels plus a White coat for modesty (Rocky Horror) - vamp make up.

5ThingsUnderTheBed Sat 20-Oct-12 19:56:19

[[http://www.amazon.co.uk/Halloween-Costume-TSHIRT-black-Large/dp/B008O3EABU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1350759292&sr=8-1 This]??

Asda have a red riding hood costume in, it's jus the right amount of tartiness to pacify this woman.

5ThingsUnderTheBed Sat 20-Oct-12 19:56:37

*just

5ThingsUnderTheBed Sat 20-Oct-12 19:57:28

Urgh, link fail here

catgirl1976 Sat 20-Oct-12 20:03:54

Should you get into an altercation with her at some point during the party, my I draw your attention to this absolute gem on the best insults thread?

"I would slap you but I don't want to get slut all over my hand"

grin

redexpat Sat 20-Oct-12 20:52:50

You could do what Wednesday Addams does, go in your normal clothes and say you've come as a psychopath - they look just like everybody else.

How about marilyn monroe? Think you can get THOSE dresses on ebay. Great for your boobs and respectable length.

Love catgirl's pput down.

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