to think dh should be straight with his mother?

[loobydoopy]

MIL has invited dh and I to stay with ten month old ds, in the past we've visited them for the day only, they live a couple of hours drive away.

Ds often sleeps in bed with dh and I (I'm still breastfeeding and ds doesn't sleep well in the cot). We're all quite happy with the situation, we all get a good nights sleep cosleeping (ds is very safe, all cosleeping precautions taken).

However, dh hasn't told mil about the cosleeping as he thinks she'll react badly, she's quite an intimidating person and her views on parenting are very strict. So she has invited us to stay with dh and I in single beds and ds in a travel cot she bought without asking. We tried ds in a travel cot a few times when we've stayed away before and it's a disaster of crying and no sleep all round.

I think dh should tell mil straight that we can stay close by at a hotel or we could stay with her, but single beds and travel cot are not likely to work well. I'm not too worried to miss a nights sleep, but MIL also has insomnia and complains about the slightest noise in the night, complains her earplugs aren't good enough etc.

Aibu to think dh should tell MIL why he thinks we can't stay with her?

[monsterchild]

Why can't you just push the beds together? You're not Ricky and Lucy FFS!

I'd have him tell her you're going to do that, and then have Ds in bed anyway. If she's a poor sleeper she should appreciate you keeping him asleep all night!

If, however, she is like my DM, she'll bitch and moan no matter what you do, so just do what you like and she'll get over it.

[SweetBabyJebus]

Why does she need to be 'told' one way or the other? Just do what you normally do! If she comments, shrug your shoulders and say this is how we do it.

[loobydoopy]

Thx, I suppose she has to be told as she'd probably spot the bedrail we'd need to bring for ds.

[loobydoopy]

Maybe its a non issue, we can just go and stay and if she complains about noise or bed moving we will wait to stay again when ds is older.