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To postpone my DD's birthday party?

(15 Posts)
TheKurgan Fri 19-Oct-12 22:53:01

My DD turned 2 this week and we had planned to have a small party this weekend - just family. Unfortunately the last two weeks have been a nightmare as she has been really very ill with a seemingly endless stomach bug, necessitating two A&E visits, two GP visits and me syringing fluids into her day and night to keep her from dehydration. She only just appears to be on the mend today and my DH and I are frazzled and exhausted. I warned my MIL (who has been wonderfully helpful throughout this period) that I thought we should put the party off until next week when DD has hopefully fully got her strength back and DH and I have had a chance to catch up on sleep, clean the house and prepare for having people round. She seemed to agree this was sensible.
We phoned to rearrange with everyone whereupon my BIL kicked off because he can't make it next week. DH said that was a shame but nonetheless this is what we are doing so perhaps he could pop round on Sunday to see her. He is now in a massive huff and is very 'upset' about it and will 'think about' whether he will come round to see her. In addition MIL is now upset on his behalf and is applying the emotional thumbscrews to get us to change our minds.
Seriously, am I being unreasonable/overly precious to change the date? It's a 2-year-old's party FFS, why does a grown man care so much about missing it, and why do he and MIL think his hurt feelings are more important than DD actually having a chance of enjoying her own party?!

defineme Fri 19-Oct-12 22:54:55

Is there a history of odd behaviour? Extraordinary behaviour!

hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman Fri 19-Oct-12 22:56:22

Completely reasonable, she needs time to recover as do you and your DH. Just remind me who's the 2yr old? DD or your BIL?

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Oct-12 22:58:11

Very odd

It's not like she'll remember it anyway.

mudipig Fri 19-Oct-12 23:02:49

I reckon he'd planned a night out with his mates or something and now he's going to have to cancel.

Carry on as you were and just say it's fine if he can't make it but she's not well enough this weekend.

TheKurgan Fri 19-Oct-12 23:24:13

He's not normally odd... but I'm glad of confirmation that he is being odd in this instance, so thank you!

MyDonkeysAZombie Fri 19-Oct-12 23:32:31

Yanbu hope your DD is much better and you can relax.

aldiwhore Fri 19-Oct-12 23:36:53

Soothe your MIL by reminding her that her GGD has been poorly and you really respect her support (even if she's done a uturn), and that you understand others will be 'upset' (seriously? What a knobber!) but she shouldn't feel bad about it.

As for your BIL, don't give him a second thought.

You are doing what is best for your child. If he can't 'get' that, meh to him, not worthy of an argument.

If your MIL simply hates being 'in the middle' (understandable) then make sure you tell her that it's YOUR choice, and then maybe she won't feel so bad.

(Your BIL sounds utterly weird... I do hope he's nice)

Flojo1979 Fri 19-Oct-12 23:41:00

Take it as a compliment.
Your BIL was clearly looking forward to the occasion, u must throw good parties! He's obviously disappointed he cant make it, he'll get over it!

AgentZigzag Fri 19-Oct-12 23:46:52

It seems to be about more than just your BIL being able to get to the party, I mean, what adult would get huffy because they couldn't enjoy the arrangements usually made for a 2 YOs party?? grin

Could it be about him feeling as though you're deliberately leaving him out (if he doesn't usually use sulky tactics to manipulate other people) and he's genuinely hurt?

I don't think you should give in to him, this is about the welfare of your DD (and incidently yours and your DHs).

What kind of a relationship does he have with your DD? Does he have DC of his own?

Hope your DD's on the mend now, bet you feel like you've been to hell and back? <hug>

Loveweekends10 Sat 20-Oct-12 04:33:18

What a tosser. Ignore him. You are right to postpone until she's a little better.

Want2bSupermum Sat 20-Oct-12 04:44:17

Let me guess that the BIL doesn't have children! If he did he would fully understand and would be happy to rearrange. Only parents love it when people cancel because their child is sick or has been sick.

The silver lining is that your BIL really wants to be there to celebrate his niece. That is kinda cute and I would butter up your MIL with that.

TheKurgan Sat 20-Oct-12 08:38:55

No, he doesn't have children yet! He is quite a doting uncle, which is nice, but we really could have done without a silly family drama at this stage. Thanks v much for your messages.

whatsonyourplate Sat 20-Oct-12 09:48:37

Reasure him he'll still get a party bag and slice of cake. hmm

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Sat 20-Oct-12 09:53:26

How old is bil? Pathetic behaviour!

I guess he'll have to rearrange his shagfest or football match or fishing trip if he wants to see his beautiful and recovered niece. You've done the right thing OP, forget about him and fix mil with a steely glare and hiss ' your granddaughter is not well. She needs a party she can enjoy'

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