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Am I precious pregnant lady? School.

(127 Posts)
ZovutZovut Fri 19-Oct-12 21:40:19

I'm 31 weeks and blessed with a pretty smooth second pregnancy, however I'm starting to feel the need to protect myself from work impacting on it. I don't think I'm being precious, am I?
I'm deputy head/ senco/ ppa cover/ nqt mentor and cover... and pretty much anything else going. If it needs doing it seems to revert to me.
I've put my foot down on playground duty this week. tbh honest I could just about manage my own (though not great) but everyone else's cover is really impacting on my tiredness and weeing/ eating needs. I'll get in early with the surprise of covering a class (having arrived a little late due to ongoing sickness) 20 min later only to have gate duty dropped on me for the 15min before school starts. Stress. I'm a good teacher but not wonder woman able to pull out a lesson plus resources from any year group from nursery to year 6 on the spot. Then I'll be stuck in class unable to wee with no TA and high needs, only to have break duty and have to some how hold it from 8.45 until noon. I think this has caused a recent kidney infection as I end up drinking less to manage. So I get headaches too. Also, it may be seen as precious, but I don't want to have my bump in the middle of rowdy playtime football/ races in a tiny playground. The kids mean well and are lovely but accidents happen (and parents fight at pick-up but that's another story...) Nor do I like swollen ankles. I know people stand a lot more in their jobs but I'm shattered, I'm desperate for a tea/ loo/ 5 min of silence. If my colleagues were more considerate I'd wing it, but 'SMT' are the enemy whatever you do- last week I had to actually had to shout to get someone to cover the playground for 1 min while I went to the loo as I was about to wet myself in desperation (shivering didn't help) and no one would pop out when I asked nicely. I'm the only bloody SMT member at the moment (the Head is at a neighbouring school, just directing more and more cover/ delegating from afar)
I'm hormonal but I feel like everyone's dumping ground, even when I was off for a few days ill (kidney infection and the only time off) I have loads of emails along the lines of 'where is x' 'you didn't do y'.
I feel like throttling someone and I'm way to close to the end of my tether where I have a hormonal rant/ break down at someone. In assembly today I was acutely aware of boring 240 kids shitless en masse because I was so tired and un-animated.
I'm snappy with the kids, forgetting things and it's all piling up around me. Plus our SEN needs have exploded and Im trying to pass through a million and one things before I go off and am struggling with paperwork relating to referrals, statutory assessment (think paperwork an inch thick) etc whilst dealing with amazingly difficult chats with parent whilst nearly being too tired to focus on them. Or dealing with behaviour issues (rarely those of the children though!)
I'm sitting with my own (not done) risk assessment because what's the bloody point in it being created when no one will look at it. Plus trying to arrange maternity cover for myself whilst everyone carping on about the budget (PM me if you know someone who will do my job for under 10k and then they'll be happy in the LEA....)
Everyone else seems to be on the view it's business as usual when pregnant, and I've pretty much managed it. And yes as someone muttered, I'm pregnant not ill but I feel like being a precious hormonal pregnant woman now and just going over the edge. Everyone has the view that management have it easy anyway, but during my previous pregnancies I did have a class and I didn't feel so stressed.

Is it me not coping? Is it school that's the issue?


SuffolkNWhat Fri 19-Oct-12 21:45:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo Fri 19-Oct-12 21:46:47

You are the deputy head. You need to put your foot down and start delegating. People won't like it, but as their senior, it's your call.

And get some flat shoes.

hermioneweasley Fri 19-Oct-12 21:49:04

When do you start your mat leave?

ZovutZovut Fri 19-Oct-12 21:49:34

Oh if if only I'd though of flat shoes....

And it's a good job I have no one delegating to me...or budget constraints...or staff absence....oh that's it. I'll get the lollipop man to cover classes when teachers are out

Wow. Problems solved with that insight.

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Oct-12 21:55:00

Have you always been this sarky to people trying to help you, or do you think that's part of the stress/pregnancy hormones too?

PumpkInDublic Fri 19-Oct-12 21:56:36

Dear me, you say you're not superwoman but you're doing a darn good job of acting like it. Will you have time to give Lynette the patronising post of the day award? grin

I would be looking to my union in this case. Even though your head is away they should be ensuring you've had regular workplace assessments as your pregnancy progressed.

School is the issue, not you.

Have you support outside of school? I know no one can teach your classes but is someone letting you put your feet up a bit at home?

monsterchild Fri 19-Oct-12 21:57:24

You are precious pregnant lady.


kilmuir Fri 19-Oct-12 21:57:46

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul Fri 19-Oct-12 21:58:21

Go sick


ThePieSmuggler Fri 19-Oct-12 21:58:26

Not a nice response to other posters op. Perhaps if you treat your staff like this it might be why they don't seem too keen to help you out?

DorsetKnob Fri 19-Oct-12 21:58:36

So take ML early.

DorsetKnob Fri 19-Oct-12 21:59:20

Missed it was second pregnancy. get a grip.

PumpkInDublic Fri 19-Oct-12 21:59:46

To be fair Worra if I'd wrote what the OP had wrote at 31 weeks pregnant (long standing days, playground duty, having to shout to be able to use the toilet, no support from staff, harassed when off sick etc) and someone had suggested flat shoes and better organised I'd be glad I couldn't reach through the screen. OP sounds intelligent and kind, but stressed.

ZovutZovut Fri 19-Oct-12 22:00:20

Worra, were you under the impression she was trying to help? I wasn't, hence the response.

Pumpkin, no. But she can have a sticker at a push. Probably home is adding to it, ds2 (2) isn't sleeping well at the moment and DH to put it mildly is housework adverse.

ExitPursuedByAaaaaarGhoul Fri 19-Oct-12 22:01:47

What advice are you looking for OP?

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Oct-12 22:02:20

I don't think it's an excuse for rudeness PumpkInDublic

So flat shoes wasn't the best suggestion but it was hardly worthy of that response Lol.

OP, you need a meeting with the Head and tell her/him everything you've written in your OP.

Is the Head away from the school often?

ENormaSnob Fri 19-Oct-12 22:02:56

Perhaps you should go on mat leave if you are struggling?

PumpkInDublic Fri 19-Oct-12 22:04:23

Does DH work too Zovut? Is he there for listening and offloading about your day? I hope he is emotionally supportive but housework adverse is going to be a bitch with a toddler who doesn't sleep well and a newborn.

Sokmonsta Fri 19-Oct-12 22:04:44

There really is a simple cure to this. You are stressed. It will doubtlessly have an impact on your pregnancy, possibilities of preterm labour etc. get your gp to sign you off until your maternity leave starts. Cite lack of workable risk assessment as contributory factor, which puts the blame squarely on your boss. Then stay at home, put your feet up and enjoy your remaining few weeks. Believe it or not, no one is indispensable. You are allowing yourself to be out upon, probably because you feel guilty about going off knowing that work needs to be done. Stop it! No one else is going to thank you and it's not worth getting snappy and irritable with people over it. The rest of your team will have to pick up the pieces in your absence. I am sure they will call you every name under the sun. But importantly you won't be there to hear or even care about it.

amistillsexy Fri 19-Oct-12 22:04:59

I know just how you feel. I was in much the same position when pregnant with DS1.

WRT breaks and duties, I eventually had to say that if I didn''t get someone out 5 mins before the bell to relieve me (so I could relieve myself!grin), I'd reinstate the 'all out at breaktime' rule we had when OFSTED came in. I was lucky, once I'd pointed out the desperation I was in, the older teachers took pity on me and made sure I got a loo break during playtimes.

During class time I made a deal with the teachers next door to wherever I was teaching that if I needed to 'go', they would send in a TA to cover (since whenever I was teaching the TA was invariably needed elsewhere, so I rarely had one with me!). I also taught sitting down as much as possible, and used kind child helpers to fetch things for me whenever possible.

I think you sound under a lot of pressure, particularly with the HT being out most of the time. Have you spoken to the HT about this? Do they know how close you are to breaking point? It won't be doing the school any good to have you under so much stress with so many things to do. Is the HT supportive of your pregnancy? Will he or she be able to come back and relieve some of the pressure from you?

The union will be able to help you if the HT doesn't come up with a plan to lessen your load.

SomersetONeil Fri 19-Oct-12 22:06:15

Seriously - flat shoes? Who suggests 'flat shoes' to a 31-week pregnant woman and doesn't expect some sort of piss ripping?

PumpkInDublic Fri 19-Oct-12 22:07:33

True Worra, but in this instance I'd give OP the benefit. I now this is AIBU and it's a say it as you think it environment, but I read the OP as a long stream of "Arrrrrrghhhhhhh".

Second pregnancy or not, it's like when you find the 9 month pregnant woman with the toddler in Tesco crying, approach very very carefully. grin

VivaLeBeaver Fri 19-Oct-12 22:07:36

Just tell the head that, I'm sure they'll sort out someone else to do break duty, etc.

My heavily pregnant colleagues are expected to work on their feet, no sitting down, no break and often no chance to go to the loo for 7.5 hrs a day. They manage but all look ill and knackered by the time they're about 36 weeks. Quite a few get admitted with threatened prem labour which I'm sure is related to been on their feet, rushing about, pulling heavy furniture about all day.

I have to say I don't think teaching can be physically as bad even with break duty.

LynetteScavo Fri 19-Oct-12 22:08:22

Did I misread high needs as high heels? Sorry! grin

<<Goes off to learn to read>>

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