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AIBU to stop my 10 yo daughter eating, even though she's not fat (yet)?

(150 Posts)
KennethParcell Fri 19-Oct-12 18:44:07

From the moment she got in from school she has been eating. Crackers, strawberries, biscuits (she ate more than her share but her brother and I weren't quick enough) also a yoghurt, and a chocolate spread sandwich with two slices of bread! I took the chocolate spread off her and couldn't believe how much of it was gone, i only bought it an hour ago.

I told her spagbol in an hour, so no more eating. the whinging and the whining - you would have thought I had locked her in the chokey for a week with gruel and water. so, i managed to prevent her eating anymore bread/cheese while I cooked, although a few times I had to say 'i said NO!' and shut the cupboard door as she was opening it.......... made the spagbol and dished up and she had seconds, which is FINE, totally fine. Then she was hungry, so i said have some snap peas. her brother and i had the snap peas and I said have a pear then. no, still 'hungry' but not hungry enough for snap peas or a pear but she has devoured two brioches. i'm so cross, all the food i carted back from the supermarket earlier, which was for the whole weekend, she on her own has already depleted a weekend's supply of carbs!!! she will be up before me tomorrow eating whatever she can lay her hands on as well.

aibu to put it to her that she should think about whether or not she is really hungry or not. and that if she is genuinely hungry she wouldn't turn her nose up at snap peas and a pear.... i'm forever telling her that she can't have six slices of bread a day, even brown bread, because of the salt content. i'm worn out with her.

she's ten by the way and although she is not plump she has a sticky out tummy, it's not wobbly, it's kind of like a drum sticking out, four months pregnant!

GwendolineScaryLacey Fri 19-Oct-12 18:47:13

About to grow? knows bugger all about 10yos My 10yo niece is slim and could eat for England too.

Sirzy Fri 19-Oct-12 18:47:19

Give her the choices, if she doesn't eat what is offered then she can go "hungry"

Perhaps have a snack tin and when she had eaten that there is no 'treats' for the rest of the day/week?

KennethParcell Fri 19-Oct-12 18:47:41

I just noticed she's still i said 'what are you eating?' and she lifted up her hands, she has a pear in one hand and a banana in the other. I just smiled because she is at least eating fruit. btu i'm just slack jawed at the amount of food she's got through since we got back from the shops. and is it normal to pick up two pieces of fruit at a time? i'd never do that.

OHforDUCKScake Fri 19-Oct-12 18:48:44

The sticky out tummy will be all the carbs.

Just set it straight, have a full fruit bowel. Tell her she is welcome to that or raw veg between meals and nothing else.

Dont give her a complex about her weighy though for gawd sake.

LFCisTarkaDahl Fri 19-Oct-12 18:49:56

Is she well hydrated??

If she's actually hungry then a pear/peas is fine. She might be going through a growth spurt though so I'd have not gone with the biscuits and the chocolate spread sandwich but instead cheese/egg on toast.

It's very easy to feel unsatisfied on biscuits/brioches.

OHforDUCKScake Fri 19-Oct-12 18:50:25

Kenneth, I pick up piles of fruit at a time. But I do love me some fruit.

I say growth spurt, because youre sounding shocked in a way that she wasnt doing this a month ago?

shewhowines Fri 19-Oct-12 18:50:27

Difficult because you don't want to make an issue of it but.....

I'd approach it from the "it's too expensive and all that was for us all to share all weekend" angle. It's quite selfish to eat everyone else's share. She should understand your "hunger barometer" ie the fruit.

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Oct-12 18:50:30

Of course YANBU but her weight isn't the only reason.

I'd be worried she had a medical condition or was boredom eating, although kids are often naturally greedy until it's nipped in the bud.

Helping herself should be a no-no though imo. If you live in a house with other people, you need to consider their needs too so it's polite to ask rather than help yourself.

Do you think she's eating out of boredom?

Choufleur Fri 19-Oct-12 18:50:33

you know she probably is hungry and peas or a pear won't stop that - even though it would be a more healthy choice.

Some days DS (6) just doesn't stop eating - he is just genuinely hungry. I don't know where he puts it all. he is a bean pole.

Choufleur Fri 19-Oct-12 18:51:03

does she usually eat like that?

OHforDUCKScake Fri 19-Oct-12 18:51:43

A fruit bowel. Tee hee!



shewhowines Fri 19-Oct-12 18:52:06

I also second filling up with more protein rather than "empty" calories.

ThreeWheelsGood Fri 19-Oct-12 18:52:48

She might be at the start of puberty and genuinely hungry all the time! I agree with getting get to wait if you're preparing a meal though though. At least with all that fruit she won't have constipation though grin

Jbck Fri 19-Oct-12 18:54:17

DD1 is like this, skinny as a rake and there are days where she just eats non-stop, other days she's much more sensible but still eats a hang of a lot. People are astounded at how much she can put away. She is good with sweets & chocolate and if I say enough (tbh she has usually stopped well before I'd have to) she will say fine, but still look for crackers, fruit etc.
I'd say as long as she understands the consequences of eating healthily and isn't getting fat she's just made that way. I was exactly the same as DD1 till I had thyroid problems later in life so it's just our make up. DD2 would eat sweets for Scotland but is much the same build and just needs trained to eat better. She doesn't get them but God there's a lot of whining.

HorraceTheOtter Fri 19-Oct-12 18:54:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raindroprhyme Fri 19-Oct-12 18:55:36

is she drinking enough? i know my boys never drink enough during th eschool day and think they are hungry when really they are thirsty. i now have a rule snack(bowel of lentil soup or small bowel of leftovers from night before) and big drink of water as soon as they get in. Then only fruit or veg if they are still hungry before tea.
My 11 year old boy is always hungry but is a string bean. It could also be her hormones kicking in at that age craving the carbs

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Oct-12 18:56:03

Oh I just spotted your 'eating two bits of fruit at the same time' post.

She's taking the piss imo, given that you've already had a word with her about this hmm

pointyfangs Fri 19-Oct-12 18:56:09

It has to be said that my DD was very like this from her 10th birthday until about 3 months ago - she's grown 4 inches in just over a hear, has done from a shoe size 4 to a 6 and is growing a figure. Her eating has tapered off now, even though she is doing sport 5 times a week in addition to PE at school and swimming at weekends.

I second limiting the carbs though, and providing something more substantial and protein-heavier.

MrsMangoBiscuit Fri 19-Oct-12 18:57:39

I can only remember from about 11 onwards, but at that age I ate LOTS. I am the tall one in my family, at 6 foot. I could still easily scoff 2 pears at a time for a snack, but I fill up a lot quicker on protein. Maybe keep some hard boiled eggs in the fridge if she'll eat those? Or cold cooked meat? Or raw nuts? Or she could make bowls of porridge, very cheap, quick and easy in the microwave, and she can flavour it however she likes.

GhostShip Fri 19-Oct-12 18:59:00

At ten, she shouldn't be helping herself to food.

I always asked as a child, otherwise I'd have been fecking massive.

KennethParcell Fri 19-Oct-12 19:01:48

raindroprhyrme no I don't think she is drinking enough. quite often at breakfast she will leave the drink, and her beaker comes home from school still full. I had to MAKE her have a drink with her spagbol.

I guess it could be puberty but I didn't start my periods til i was 14! so I'd be surpised if it was that... also she is about 4'7 or 8" I think. that's a guess. i haven't measured her!

As hard as it is to get her to stop eating, getting her to drink more is tough too. she'd drink juice quick enough but I just stick with water or milk.

Funny what you say about limiting the carbs. the other day she wanted to eat a can of tuna and i was about to say no and then i said, eh, ok?

WorraLiberty Fri 19-Oct-12 19:04:08

So have I got this right? She must have been home from school by what time...say 3.30ish? And by 6.45 she's managed to eat...

A yoghurt
A chocolate spread sandwich with 2 slices of bread
2 portions of spaghetti bolognese
2 brioches
And she's now eating a banana from one hand and a pear from the other?

I seriously think you need to take her to the Doctor for a check up.

KennethParcell Fri 19-Oct-12 19:06:14

Shewhones, yes I 'll take that approach with her. NO MORE FOOD TONIGHT. I really mean it. sure there's hardly any left, she's like the tiger who came to tea.

bigTillyMint Fri 19-Oct-12 19:10:44

It sounds excessive for a snack. If she is that hungry when she gets in, is she eating enough for lunch (and breakfast)?

My DC eat quite a bit at each meal, but then only need a slice of toast/malt loaf or the like when they get in till dinner at 6. When DS was having school dinners, he started coming in ravenous and it transpired that he was eating barely anything at lunchtime.

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