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to find a friend's DH's evangelical bleatings about BF irritating

(103 Posts)
babysaurus Thu 18-Oct-12 20:41:18

deep breath

I FF and have done since my DS, now 5 months, was a month old. I tried BF and developed incredibly painful mastitis followed by thrush of the nipples (thought it would be itchy but it's actually like stabbing pains.) I had to express every three hours with a hospital pump and bottle feed it to my DS, which was totally knackering. Eventually, decided I didn't want to waste any more emotional and physical energy on it (I did beat myself up about it for quite a while) and made the decision to switch totally over to Aptamil and be able to concentrate properly on enjoying my baby.

My friend BF's her baby, now 1, and can sometimes come across a bit smug about it ('the benefits for my baby are so important that I wouldn't give up, his health is more important than mine') but her DH, who is otherwise lovely, is positively evangelical about the benefits 'for everyone' (to the point that, when my DS had a slightly sore eye he suggested his DW squirted breastmilk into it as 'at least that has some antibodies.') This kind of comment has come up quite a few times and his DW told me that when she bought some formula because she wanted to have a drink on their wedding anniversary his reaction ended up with her pouring it down the sink. He has also just posted www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/oct/18/increase-breastfeeding-nhs-savings-unicef link on Facebook, and has posted similar types of links in the past.

So, eeek, AIBU to find all this rather judgey and irritating...? Especially from someone who, as a man, couldn't ever experience breastfeeding (both the good and bad bits.)

<dons hard hat...>

laracroft2001 Thu 18-Oct-12 20:42:51

Yanbu - he is a twat IMO.

atacareercrossroads Thu 18-Oct-12 20:44:05

What a wanker!! Him, not you

D0G Thu 18-Oct-12 20:45:08

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pjmama Thu 18-Oct-12 20:45:35

Yes, twat - I second that.

Perhaps you should suggest that after he's spent a few weeks rubbing his nipples with a cheese grater and then attaching clamps every 2-3 hours, you'll be happy to hear his opinions on the subject.

Or just ignore the silly bugger.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Thu 18-Oct-12 20:45:49

Your friend's DH, for example, is a twat.

D0G Thu 18-Oct-12 20:46:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FunBagFreddie Thu 18-Oct-12 20:46:31

Typical man, obsessed with breasts!

SirBoobAlot Thu 18-Oct-12 20:46:45

I think YAB a bit U, but I can understand why.

Delete him if its irritating you so much.

WitchOfEndor Thu 18-Oct-12 20:47:17

YANBU. I still feed DS at 2.5 but I don't shove my opinions down people's throats and I think we should all be a bit more respectful of people's choices. And to have someone who hasn't ever bf evangelising like that, I'm surprised you haven't told him where to stick it!

usualsuspect3 Thu 18-Oct-12 20:48:11

He sounds like a twat.

Kalisi Thu 18-Oct-12 20:48:37

Urgh! People like that are so fucking annoying. Yes we all know the bloody benefits, Mothers don't tend to stop breastfeeding for shits and giggles....and even if they did, I for one wouldn't step in their way.

fuckadoodlepoopoo Thu 18-Oct-12 20:48:55

He's sounds like an arse. As much as i like my friends i wouldn't want any of them squirting their breast milk into my child's eye!

Pochemuchka Thu 18-Oct-12 20:49:06

He is a twat.

If there's one thing worse than a BFing mum banging on about BFing to all and sundry it's their DH/DP doing it (especially being insensitive to someone who initially wanted to do it)

And I say that as someone who has BF 2 babies.

TBH I hate anyone going on about their parenting choices - just get on with the parenting and stop telling everyone else how to do it!

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Thu 18-Oct-12 20:49:14

Yanbu I'd say, speaking as someone who BF'd

He sounds very controlling and she sounds like a martyr

jam17 Thu 18-Oct-12 20:51:27

These threads annoy me, if you were comfortable with the fact you stopped bf, you wouldn't justify yourself in your post as to why you stopped. I'm sure friend annoys you more due to your own hang ups.

I had mastitis three timees and thrush twice myself and still fed for 12 months, it's not that you couldn't physically do it, you just decided it wasn't worth the pain. Others grit their teeth through it like I did. I think I should be able to feel proud and tell others how proud I am that I overcame my own discomfort for the sake of my DS's health. Not saying anything negative about you, that's your choice, like bf was my choice IFYSWIM

EurekasMa Thu 18-Oct-12 20:52:25

ach I think he sounds very sweet and YAB a bit U.

It's not about YOU. He is only thinking of himself.

I would not be able to talk to him without a smile on my face and would giggle at his FB posts. I am very pro BF too though, so maybe I too am a twat.

PeggyCarter Thu 18-Oct-12 20:52:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PickledFanjoCat Thu 18-Oct-12 20:53:17

He does sound like a twat, but like you bf didn't work for me and I can be a bit sensitive.

Maybe a bit of both.

Suggest you poke needles in his bellend to get an idea how it was for you perhaps?

DialsMavis Thu 18-Oct-12 20:54:11

Uggghhhh they sound awful, are they ever a laugh?

PeggyCarter Thu 18-Oct-12 20:54:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

babysaurus Thu 18-Oct-12 20:55:18

Thanks for the replies folks!
Generally he is not a twat at all, he is great (we see a lot of them) and I can't think of a single other thing about him that makes me think he's a twat. Sorry, maybe I should have said that in the OP as I have given an inaccurate impression of what I think of him due to being cross!

I have wondered if I am a bit oversensitive about the switching over to formula thing, but I think I am fine with it - but as long as someone, who does BF, isn't sat opposite looking disapproving!

Also, vaguely along the lines of what DOG said, I am yet to be able to spot the difference in a room of kids between the one's who have been breastfed and the one's who haven't! (Its not like the fat wheezy / think sickly one's are FF and the glowing with health one's are BF is it?!)

DialsMavis Thu 18-Oct-12 20:55:23

I am very pro BF, but extremely anti sanctimonious twats!

Kcubs Thu 18-Oct-12 20:55:25

YANBU - no need to be so smug about it is there!

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