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is at a loss as to what to do

(7 Posts)
sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 16:37:38

Hi other mums, ok so first time on here and i joined because i am at a loss as to what to do about my 15 yr old daughter.
My daughter came out last year saying she was bisexual, then went on to say she was lesbian, i personally think she is confused by the way she acts around boys, but this is fine as i accept its all part of growing up.
She now has a girlfriend who is a troubled child and lives in London, I live in the North East, i have tried my best to accomadate this girl who is 16, she stayed with us for 10 days, then we went to visit her whilst we were in her area, to which her farther ( for want of a better word) was against (which I didnt know at the time) anyway its a very long story but because she stayed with us in a hotel he was saying i kidnapped her and said she wasn`t allowed to go home & was going to ring the police... (if she did she knew what she would get) (beating), i took this girl home with us ( didnt feel like i had much of a choice because my daughter was very upset) and said that we would do our best to help her, to cut this long story down, he harrassed his daughter by txt and phone, me also via my daughters phone, so i spoke to him and he said she had lied about who she was meeting where she was going etc and said he would pay for her to go home (which he never did) so we payed for her to go home, because thats what she wanted, even tho i didnt understand why when her dad was like that ?, ok so now to the point, she is a troubled child who`s mom left her @ age 1 and whos farther beats her so she has anxiety probs (understandably) this inturn is leading my daughter to be depressed about the situation and cut herself and also starve herself @ times and binge, now my daughter is expecting me to let her girlfriend to come down next week and for us to pick her up and feed her, now when i try to talk to my daughter about it she gets upset and says she don`t want to talk about it, but has hinted that she would run away to London if it meant being with her girlfriend, so this is the shortened version and i dont know if i am being unreasonable if i was to say i dont want her to come to our home as she i feel my daughter is vunerable herself and cannot cope with all this pressure from the situation she is in, because i am scared she does go to London or hates me for saying i dont want her here because of the impact on my daughter.
Any Advice would be appreciated.

Witchety Thu 18-Oct-12 16:45:18

It's tough isn't it?

Is she coming for half term?

sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 16:48:31

yes, she told me it was for a week, but now its 9 days , i dislike the whole not arranging things with me, like she needs picking up @ 11pm but she didnt ask me, she just said " oh her bus comes in @ 11".

Call the police. He's threatening her with violence

sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 17:07:02

Social services were involved with this child up untill she was 16 and she was on child protection up untill this point, then they didnt want to know, according to the child she went for help and they said that because she was 16 theres not alot they can do, also police been involved but again nothing seemed to have come of it, wether all this is true i dont know because she lied to her dad about being a lesbian and where my daughter actually lives.
She is a nervous wreck this is obvious, but i dont understand why she would want to go bk if its as bad as she is making it out to be to my daughter.

WhenLifeGivesYouLemons Thu 18-Oct-12 17:53:37

Your DD's GF needs to have some support from a women's group- unfortunately SS do loose interest once children grow up and they don't tend to link onto other services. If she contacts women's aid they may be able to find a shelter for her. Broken Rainbow is a fantastic helpline for LGBT victims of DV. If what she is saying is true then she needs some support for her health and safety (and for your DD's health and safety too). The police should also be involved but they can only address individual incidents and won't be able to address the situation as a whole.

sezzie25779 Thu 18-Oct-12 18:02:22

My daughter speaks to a lady from an organisation called "the junction" but is never keen to speak with this lady, and when she does she contradicts what she says, one minute she is good the next she says she is depressed in the same breath, and searches google and says she is suffering from MH issues, and its funny how every thing that her girlfriend has she has, my daughter never gives the full story to this lady , who is here to help her, my daughter being 15 does not like anybody else`s opinion if it doen`t fit in with what she thinks, my daughters girlfriend is with an organisation called "CHAMS" which she goes to for her anxiety disorder, when i suggested she rang the police she said she didn`t want to and wouldn`t really listen to what advice i was giving her or my daughter was saying to her, so i just dont know wether to let this trouble child to come to our home because of this whole situation.

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