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To not want to hear about it?

(123 Posts)
Littlesurprise Thu 18-Oct-12 13:55:41

I became a member of MN fairly recently, when OH and I found out we are expecting. Of course, I giddily went straight to the pregnancy section hoping to coo and delight in the wonderful time of life... and it's full of misery.

I understand that sometimes it's helpful to air out your difficulties. But every other post is about MC, and there is a section for that outside of the preggos bit.

It just gets me really down, freaks me out. I'm not saying people should keep it to themselves - far from it, but it is just an ill-considered location. AIBU to feel uncomfortable with there being so much sadness on what I thought was a nice, positive forum?

I suspect I'm being a little bit sensitive I'm allowed to in my condition though, right?, but if I'm BU too, I'll happily go on my merry way; there's plenty of positivity IRL. Just seems a shame...

valiumredhead Thu 18-Oct-12 13:56:59

Pregnancy IS miserable for lots of people.

ScarahScreams Thu 18-Oct-12 13:58:39


INeedThatForkOff Thu 18-Oct-12 13:58:58

Well the trick is not to open threads that refer to pregnancy loss, isn't it?

And yes you are being insensitive and selfish. Are you suggesting that unfortunate women who've lost the babies they were expecting only a day previously to bugger off straight to the miscarriage board?

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 18-Oct-12 14:00:40

Well I guess the point of a forum is to share experiences and get support you may not get IRL.

Just don't read it if it "freaks you out"

But I imagine the people going through it probably feel a lot worse than you.

BobbysBeardOfWonder Thu 18-Oct-12 14:00:55

Errr well i guess people who MC then get pg again so it's a relevant innit hmm

missymoomoomee Thu 18-Oct-12 14:01:00

Yes lets put all those who have suffered the loss of a pregnancy into a small section all of their own so we don't have to be bothered by it.... hmm

Sastra Thu 18-Oct-12 14:01:07

Sorry, but my pregnancy has been miserable.

You're more than welcome to redress the balance by being positive, but I think the nature of a forum is to ask questions when you're worried and confused about things. Otherwise you'd just be posting positive statements, and what would the point of that be (i.e., what responses would you expect?).

EmpireBiscuit Thu 18-Oct-12 14:01:36

YABU to use the term preggo.

Don't really understand your point - pregnancy loss is a distressing but unavoidable aspect to many, many woman. Why should they limit where they post?

ShirleyRots Thu 18-Oct-12 14:02:41

Oh. This is horrible.

scentednappyhag Thu 18-Oct-12 14:03:44

I understand that it's not something you want to think about while pregnant, but YABU to expect people needing support in the transition from pregnant to not pregnant to quarantine themselves.
I hope you have a worry free and happy pregnancy, but sadly not all of us do.

Xnedra Thu 18-Oct-12 14:03:50

I think we must be looking at different boards, there's a lot of happiness and cooing and comparing symptoms along with a lot of pain and worry and other threads having a rant because pregnancy sucks for some people at some times and you want to rant and complain but don't want to be one of those pregnant women in RL.

CamperFan Thu 18-Oct-12 14:04:00

YABU. What a strange post. Life isn't all ha ha hee hee, even when you're preggo, you know!

DesperatelySeekingPerfection Thu 18-Oct-12 14:04:11

Oh OP you really should have had a good look at AIBU before posting something like this .....

I have a feeling you will be retreating back to the pregnancy board.

PS my pregnancy was awful, spent most of it vomiting and there was definitely no pregnancy glow for me.

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 18-Oct-12 14:05:14

And no tbh you don't actually "have the right to feel sensitive" about this. Because you are not being sensitive to people who have posted for help during their pregnancy or loss.

You say you are a new member. Maybe you do not realise how much support people get from this site. It isn't just a fluffy happy site to coo over, people take great comfort from other mnetters sharing their stories and offering advice. It's invaluable.

WelshMaenad Thu 18-Oct-12 14:05:14

Ah, I've spotted your mistake.

You wanted the happyclappycloudcuckoolandmagicfairydustrainbowsandunicorns pregnancy forum. That's over there.

Here in real life shit happens. Sorry if that kills your buzz.

Mathsdidi Thu 18-Oct-12 14:05:51

I was incredibly positive about my pregnancy right up to the moment I started bleeding. Then I asked for help on the pregnancy board because that's what I was, pregnant. Lots of lovely people offered support and then when I miscarried they were still there to support me. If I had gone off to the miscarriage board, which I did as well, there aren't nearly as many people there to offer support.

I didn't intend to upset people by talking about what happened, and I didn't go into any great detail, I just let people know on my thread that that's what the bleeding had been.

I can guarantee that hearing about mc is nowhere near as upsetting as going through it. I genuinely hope you never experience it as I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

YerMaw1989 Thu 18-Oct-12 14:07:56

I think as long as the sadness is noted in the title then you are being pre warned enough to make that choice, I had a threatened MC early on, I chose to avoid those threads.

PurplePidjin Thu 18-Oct-12 14:08:03

I don't have to read it, but someone out there is being forced to live it.

Yabvvvu, and at 34 weeks I'm just as entitled to be irrational as you.

Fakebook Thu 18-Oct-12 14:08:55

Sorry. We'll just keep our miscarriage problems to ourselves and confine them to the miscarriage board. Because you're right. You're not pregnant anymore as soon as you start bleeding and pass your baby. hmm

YABU and extremely insensitive. The pregnancy forum got me through my last pregnancy (having suffered numerous mc's). I can't believe someone would be getting all pissed off if I talked about a mc on the pregnancy board. You have to be pregnant to have a mc.

I'm just getting off this thread now, before I get even more pissed off and your horrible thoughts.

PatriciaHolm Thu 18-Oct-12 14:10:24

If the pregnancy forum was constrained to happy fluffiness, it would be a quiet forum....

People don't post to wallow in how happy they are. Maybe when they first get pregnant, but after that, it's natural that most posts would concern questions and issues they have, not all of which are going to be shinyhappybunny things. And inevitably not all pregnancies are easy, or end well. That's life. You can't say, "oh I only want good stories over here" - there would be very little point to the Pregnancy forum in that case!

Vagaceratops Thu 18-Oct-12 14:10:44

Yabvvvvu, insensitive and selfish.

This isnt your own special forum you know.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 18-Oct-12 14:11:48

Good grief.

Perhaps you should go the fluffy wuffy bunnies and fairies world of Nethuns or somewhere similar.

I'm very sorry that people's pregnancy problems and miscarriages are annoying you. I don't want to leap of a bandwagon of flaming you, but do you reailse how incredibly insensitive and thoughtless your post is?

TantrumsAndBalloons Thu 18-Oct-12 14:12:02

littleSurprise certainley does not want the happyclappy forum, if her previous posts on mumsnet are anything to go by.

MrClaypole Thu 18-Oct-12 14:13:02

Oh get over yourself. You sound like one of those "first women to ever have a baby".

The pregnancy forum is for anyone who is pregnant. Around one in 3 pregnancies end in miscarriage, it is devastating and therefore completely understandable that lots of people post about it.

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