OK, so this involves the dreaded Facebook ((sigh))...
A friend I met at work a few years back (who now lives on the other side of the world, so our only contact is via Facebook and emails) made a post yesterday along the lines, 'the fact that it's disguised as a cutesy monkey backpack doesn't detract from the fact that your kid is on a leash'. I assume she was referring to those backpacks with reins attached. DD has one of these, it was a gift from some friends and we have used it on occasion as she likes to walk, hates the buggy and won't reliably hold a hand (I guess it's tiring to reach up and hold an adult's hand for a long period when you're 2). So anyway, I replied saying that they were useful and better than the child running off and getting squashed by a car - all very light-hearted at this point, and I was in no way offended. A few other people (whom I don't know personally) posted too, just casual lighthearted type comments, nothing controversial.
However, later on in the day she replied with, 'Why can't you just put it in a pram or carry the child, putting it on a lead like a dog is demeaning for a child'. Hmm, so I thought this was quite rude - I am demeaning my child, am I? Also I am 6 months pg and DD weighs 30lb, so I couldn't carry her (even if either of us wanted that, which neither of us do!) and she doesn't like the buggy, she enjoys walking. How is it better to wrestle her into the buggy and listen to her scream and thrash around whilst I wheel her along?
I refrained from posting anything back but then later still, other people had responded to her and she then said that child reins are equivalent to putting people with mental disabilities and dementia on leads, and that you can 'feed your kid what you want, do what you want, but do it in public and expect others to have an opinion about it'. I was a bit - and I don't really understand what her point is or why she would care so much, but AIBU to think this was a needlessly inflammatory thing to say? It seems that she is saying, (a) that I demean my child and that (b) my treatment of DD is akin to abuse of people suffering with dementia or disabled people. I was really really offended by this and have felt quite upset (pregnancy hormones) but am I being excessively precious?
Gosh, this is already long and I really didn't mean to turn it into a 'are reins okay' debate - I personally think they're fine, and I am happy for others to not like them/not approve etc, but I do draw the line at a so-called friend accusing me of abusing my child. Interestingly, this person is expecting her first baby so I posted back, 'I was a perfect parent before I had kids too - good luck with that.' Was that reasonable?
Still feel quite about the whole thing.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
to have found this really quite nasty and be offended?
105 replies
emsyj · 18/10/2012 12:20
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.