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To cry over

(7 Posts)
Chunu123 Thu 18-Oct-12 09:41:35

The fact that I have married a man just like my dad, I have always hated my dad as he was never around for us(mom and me) and on the other hand he was available 24/7 for his brothers and sisters, grand dad and grand mom , I have been in a relationship with dh over 12 years now, married and have a dd 4 years old , I did share my concerns with him
Before wedding, trouble is he comes across a very loving and caring husband, he does understand my needs as well but is extremely lazy when it comes to doing anything ... On the other hand if any of you ask him to do anything he will stay up all night and do it, will go an extra mile for a stranger... He is a show off and wants to please everyone...
Tell me if I am wrong ?

SoHHKB Thu 18-Oct-12 09:47:34

Sounds similar to my XH - 'perfect' in every way and therefore a complete nightmare to live with.
I don't really have any advice - only you know what's right for you and your family and the best way to work that out is to talk, talk, talk to your friends, your family, a counsellor perhaps and most of all your dp.
Good luck smile

Chunu123 Thu 18-Oct-12 09:54:03

I wish talking help, had a argument last night , he agrees and says sorry but this morning again he has to go to help a guy from work his wife is not well angry
While i lay in bed with a temp of 39.6 and dd has to be dropped off school, Have tried talking to friends but I get a weird look as if I am lying coz he comes across a "nice and caring man " who will do anything .....
Mom dad both heart patient so can't talk to them, have no sibling too

SoHHKB Thu 18-Oct-12 10:07:50

That's really tough - hope you've got a brew and some peace and quiet for a while now...
I know what you mean about friends being hmm when you talk about your 'perfect' dh - I remember it well. Do you have one very close friend you could sit down with and explain that things are really bothering you? Or anyone you know who's been through something similar - sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know so well and I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised by how sympathetic people can be...
I wish there was more I could suggest - keep posting x

SoHHKB Thu 18-Oct-12 10:11:34

There are others like you - just spotted this...

NeedlesCuties Thu 18-Oct-12 10:12:02

Op, here is a very similar thread, also active at the moment.

you're not alone

avivabeaver Thu 18-Oct-12 10:15:28

Well, in all honesty if that is the reality you will have to learn how you are going to live with it.

my dh is great in many ways. he is not romantic, he puts of any type of diy and snores like a walrus. I have learnt to live with it, after years of getting upset about these facts.

You have to tell him simply what you require and keep on repeating it. don't row about it.

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