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AIBU to lie to my husband for a good reason

(15 Posts)
Regbooboo Tue 16-Oct-12 21:19:28

Its like this ... my daughter was in a bad way with money and expecting her first baby - she was made redundant and had some housing problems. I ran up quite a bit of debt on my catalogue and bought her a pram, cot, bedding, clothes for herself and the baby. I didn't tell my husband (DD is his step daughter) and he is totally against debt of any kind. I lost my engagement ring a while ago and claimed on my insurance but haven't got round to buying a new one as yet. I have now had to give up work and am finding it difficult to cover my catalogue debt. Would it be terribly wrong if I paid a large chunk off the debt and bought a cubic zircona ring telling my husband it was the real thing. I hate to lie but I incurred the debt because I needed to help my DD but I have no other means of paying the debt off. I'm currently going through an MS flare up so can't work for a while. ust wondering what your views are. Thanks all.

picnicbasketcase Tue 16-Oct-12 21:22:08

Morally it's rather questionable I suppose but If you think it's the best thing to do with the money and he won't notice, I guess it's a better option than running up more debt with the catalogue charging interest.

SirBoobAlot Tue 16-Oct-12 21:22:30

I think you were foolish not to tell him in the first place, and now covering it up is simply adding more lies. He will probably be able to tell the difference with a cheap ring. And if you're out of work and struggling to cover your debt, he will find out sooner or later.

LindyHemming Tue 16-Oct-12 21:24:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EleanorBloodBathsket Tue 16-Oct-12 21:24:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Tue 16-Oct-12 21:26:12

I think it's time to stop the lies to be honest.

CZ rings don't stay clear and shiny like diamonds so he'll probably notice in a few months anyway and that'll make it worse.

pictish Tue 16-Oct-12 21:26:32

I see your reasoning but it can only go wrong. You will be found out.
He will respect you more (if he is a good man) if you own up. Tell him what you've told us.

Cluffyfunt Tue 16-Oct-12 21:26:43

I would just tell him.

Surely he will understand that you just needed to help out your DD and DGC.

honeytea Tue 16-Oct-12 21:26:51

I think you should tell him.

Also why did you buy all that stuff for your dd from a catalogue? You can buy very very cheap baby stuff from car boot sales and second hand shops.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 16-Oct-12 21:26:58

Secrets and lies. Just come clean and tell him. Work out together what you will do. It turns out he was right about debt, wasn't he? Imagine if something happened to you and he found out that you had done this... Just tell him (as long as he is not abusive or violent, in that case do what keeps you safe).

MoonlightandWerewolves Tue 16-Oct-12 21:27:05

I'm with SirBoob on this one - going on what you've set out above, you need to tell him the truth. It shouldn't stop you paying off the debt with the insurance, it will just mean that you will have to wait a while longer for a replacement.

Yes, he is likely to be both upset and furious, possibly for a long time, but you need to do it.

BeingBooyhoo Tue 16-Oct-12 21:27:24

i couldn't. come clean. surely he would understand that your DD needed help?

pictish Tue 16-Oct-12 21:27:34

I don't think he'll notice the ring, but some bit of paperwork will be found, or he will notice money missing, and it will all come out anyway.

MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour Tue 16-Oct-12 21:31:09


A marriage full of lies and deception is one not worth having IMHO

Why did you but it all on the catalogue? I'm not judging, I've used them when I've needed to but surely your daughter and baby didn't need everything brand new?

RobynRidingHood Tue 16-Oct-12 21:36:02

How did you get 'cash' on insurance? I lost my jewelry and I got a card for the local jewelers to replace the items - insurers are wise to cash scams these days

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