I don't know where to start but here goes...I hope this doesn't make me sound 'all about money' ...
When we met he said that he wanted to make a certain step up in his career which would mean he could earn significantly more and also help with future job security. It wouldn't mean working longer hours, he would just need to add to his skill set. It didn't mean much to me then, I wasn't even sure what he did, I just knew i loved him.
We both worked and I got promoted and changed careers and generally carried on improving while he stayed still. When I questioned him about it he would agree and there would be a little flurry of activity which would eventually quieten down and then stop. Or he would say that he was learning so and so which would ultimately get him to his goal.
When we got married, we discussed division of responsibilities and one thing that we agreed would fall into his camp would be the control of our finances...how much we had at any point, savings for the future, pension etc. because he had waaay more experience in money jargon than I had.
Well, he hasn't really got a handle on our joint account or what he needs to save for our family and retirement. Nor has he progressed with his job, 8 years after saying he wanted to. We have these talks over and over again and it always ends up with him apologising to me and me asking him if he still wants to progress and if yes, then why hasn't he? He doesn't have an answer.
What is going wrong? Am I being unreasonable in being annoyed with him? I feel like I have to keep on top of everything and I feel insecure financially. We have a 5 month DS and we both want me to stay at home to look after him BUT he has no real grasp on the financial implications of this. Plus, we are about to go abroad to see family and the one thing I gave him to do...get DS passport sorted, he hasn't done! And we have 3 weeks to go! And he told me it was sorted!
What'll I doing wrong?? Is he being passive aggressive?
Sorry for the long rant but I didn't know how to stop!
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AIBU?
To be angry and feel like I am losing respect for my DH?
19 replies
Totobear · 16/10/2012 20:22
OP posts:
NatashaBee ·
16/10/2012 21:10
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