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To not want to take a sixteen-month old to a posh sit down meal event?

(38 Posts)
Christmas78 Tue 16-Oct-12 19:29:12

We've been invited to a christening this weekend and I've just found out it involves a sit down meal at a very posh place. The hosts have said that we have to say for definite if we'll stay for the meal which I understand since they have to pay per head.
That said, my sixteen month DS is prone to tantrums, will be the only child (other than babies) there and will be missing his nap as the service starts late morning and meal isn't until 2/3. So there's a good chance he'll have a melt down and go ape long before the meal.
If it was you, would you accept, knowing the hosts would be really annoyed if you took him home early so there was no option to play it by ear? Or just turn down the meal bit and stay for a glass of champagne which is our other alternative?
Really uncertain of what to do and feeling like I'm being really lame to be worried about it. Very curious as to what other people with toddler experience would do! x

forevergreek Tue 16-Oct-12 19:33:11

I would keep them awake for service, feed food you have brought with you, then pop in buggy shortly before the meal starts and let them nap a few hours during the meal. Would this work? 16month old here naps 9.30-10, then 1-3 everyday, so could easily move everything a bit do nap starts at 2pm-4.

SomethingOnce Tue 16-Oct-12 19:34:47

YANBU. If it was me in these particular circumstances, I'd go for champagne and no meal because I probably wouldn't enjoy the meal anyway because I'd be fearing a tantrum.

spondulix Tue 16-Oct-12 19:36:33

There is no way in hell I'd take my 16-month-old DD to an event like that! I can just picture it: she'd be screeching and trying to get out of her chair, and I would be red in the face, desperately trying to distract/placate.

I personally would just stay for champagne, but of course every baby is different. forever's suggestion is a good one IF your baby will sleep when you go out. Mine will not!

SomethingOnce Tue 16-Oct-12 19:38:49

Trouble is, if you really, really need them to take a strategic nap, they invariably won't. It's a gamble.

complexnumber Tue 16-Oct-12 19:38:59

Good job it's posh! In a Weatherspoons they would be fighting each other to throw beer over your baby, either that or to head butt each other.

Only saying...

GetOrfAKAMrsUsainBolt Tue 16-Oct-12 19:40:52

I would just stay for the champagne, otherwise you run the risk of being on edge anyway the entire event. You wouldn't want to leave right at the beginning og the meal would you and waste the hosts money. Just assume you will need to leave after one drink.

Laquitar Tue 16-Oct-12 19:44:43

I would go because it is a free meal at a posh Restaurant blush

spondulix Tue 16-Oct-12 19:44:44

How about I leave my DD with you and go to the posh meal on your behalf? It would be a shame to waste the invitation. I am very well behaved and good at chatting to aunts etc. It's been ages since I've been out for a nice meal. Please??!

IKilledIgglePiggle Tue 16-Oct-12 19:48:25

I wouldnt take my 22mo DD, she is at the 'into everything, can't be told no stage' it's just not worth it, you won't relax.

I was forced into going for a meal on Saturday night with the in laws, they booked for 6.30 and I had a screaming over tired toddler, I really didn't want to go but they put the guilt trip on me.....it's was a fucking nightmare.

rainbow2000 Tue 16-Oct-12 19:49:06

I would not risk it,you wont enjoy it.Ive a 16 month old and he screeches ands screams.Doesnt even nap really anymore either.
Is there no one to take the baby even just for the meal.Or just give the baby some champers it will soon knock them out but they will have an awful hangover.

Christmas78 Wed 17-Oct-12 07:57:04

Yep, think I'll go for the champers and then split. I love Forever's idea and it might work, but it also might not! Would probably try that if there was another child or two and the hosts more child-friendly but will just feel too nervous to enjoy it. Xxx

ZombiesAreClammyDodgers Wed 17-Oct-12 07:59:04

...maybe child care for the evening?

flyoverthegoldenhill Wed 17-Oct-12 08:00:10

Erm ...............so would I be the only one to get a babysitter ?

flyoverthegoldenhill Wed 17-Oct-12 08:00:47

x posted with Zombies !

Loobylou222 Wed 17-Oct-12 08:13:29

I would def get a babysitter! Or maybe get someone to pick her up just before the meal?

CatsRule Wed 17-Oct-12 08:16:26

Wonder what the non child friendly couple whose baby is being christened would do...presumably their child wouldn't misbehave if they were in your position grin

I find it strange for people to have a non child friendly event and be ridgid...understandably so if they are paying a lot...especially when in just a few months time they could be having tears and tantrums themselves and in dilemas about whether they can do things or go places!

CitrusyOne Wed 17-Oct-12 08:21:09

I'm interested in a christening being organised by a couple who as not child friendly???

marriedinwhite Wed 17-Oct-12 08:35:39

Babysitter. Get them a "what to expect in the 2nd year book" to go with the christening present grin.

Isn't a 16 month old still a baby and still expected to behave like a baby?

Fecklessdizzy Wed 17-Oct-12 08:42:53

It's not worth all the stress and indigestion ... Either get a babysitter or flee straight after the champers.

surroundedbyblondes Wed 17-Oct-12 08:48:05

It's certainly going to be tough if you're stressed. Are you by yourself with DS or will you have your OH there? Could you take it in turns to push DS in the buggy till he falls asleep and pop in and out of the meal? (We did this for my great grandma's 90th, and it worked well when DD2 was similar age)

Or could you consider a babysitter so that you could enjoy the event?

Wow aren't toddlers different, I nearly chocked on my cup of tea at the idea you could put a 16 month old in a buggy to "sleep for a couple of hours" through a meal... and then read she has one that would do that! My 17 month old would be climbing on the table and crawling under it, running around and tripping the waiters up... grin OK I wouldn't let him - but I wouldn't go to the meal either and like the majority would split after the champagne, and actually be quite likely to have to spend most of the service outside so as not to disrupt the service with noise and action... bit pointless going at all really IMO, but depends how close to the hosts you are and what breed of toddler you have!

Married a 16 month old is a world apart from a babe-in-arms in my experience (due to the running, climbing, and not being pacified and sent to sleep by having a boob/bottle/ dummy stuck in their mouth), I assume the OP means the only other children are non-mobile babies?

I would only think about getting a babysitter if I really loved the couple and really wanted to be there/ was a godparent, otherwise I'd want to skip altogether but probably go as described above, definitely not the meal.

*Sorry when I wrote "she" Is hould have written *forevergreek as she is the one in possession of the lovely obliging 16 month old who takes 2 hour naps smile

MainlyMaynie Wed 17-Oct-12 08:57:45

I wouldn't have a problem taking nearly 16 month-old DS to a posh meal, but the timing is totally wrong for you. I wouldn't take him anywhere that involved missing his nap - he'll only fall asleep in the pushchair with a long walk significantly later than his normal nap time. I'd stay for the champagne and then leave.

MainlyMaynie Wed 17-Oct-12 09:03:13

My nearly 16 month-old naps for two hours BTW. And we take him out for meals a lot, just not during nap time. It's a bit unpredictable, but if we do something that is for him and wears him out, e.g. soft play, swimming, long slow walk, take books and make sure he has something to eat quickly it is usually fine. (And before anyone does the usual MN complaint about taking babies/toddlers out and ruining other people's meals, if he does get grumpy we take him outside for a walk then leave!)

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