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to feel justified in my choice and feel he shouldn't have reacted this way?

(10 Posts)
extremepie Tue 16-Oct-12 18:03:42

I am currently working in a bar attached to a hotel but recently applied for, and got, a full time chef job at a new restaurant that opens on Saturday just up the road from the place I am at now.

I am really excited about this new job, the hours are good, the pay is good and because I'm going to be there from the start of this new business I have been asked for my input into the menu and design of the kitchen, etc.

The day before yesterday I was at work in the bar when my boss takes me to one side and tells me he is offering me a full time job in the kitchen of the hotel, at the same time basically bad-mouthing my new employers. He said he didn't trust the owner and that working at their hotel would be a better opportunity for me because the other place would probably go out of business soon and then I would be left without a job. I said I would like to think about it as I had already accepted the job offer from the new restaurant and needed time to decide.

I decided that I wanted to stick with my original decision, as I didn't feel it was fair to leave them in the lurch with trying to find someone else at such short notice, plus they offered me the job first!

I phoned my boss today to tell him what I had decided and he starts getting really funny with me saying things like 'well thank you for dropping me right in the shit' and 'well I think you're an idiot for turning down this opportunity and it won't come again' - basically insulting me for turning them down!

I was initially upset about it as he has always been really nice to me and I wasn't expecting him to turn on me like that but I also feel really annoyed that he put me in that difficult position of having to choose between them like that - either way I was going to let someone down!

AIBU to feel upset at the way he acted?

Do you think I made the right decision?

Charliefox Tue 16-Oct-12 18:07:28

He just sounds like a really frustrated employer to be honest, albeit slightly unreasonable and over the top. Who knows if it's the right decision - that will become clear in the fullness of time but don't torture yourself about it. You've made your decision, which is always better than sitting on the fence getting splinters in your bum! Maintain your dignity and professionalism, be polite and just stick out your notice period. Good luck!

GoSakuramachi Tue 16-Oct-12 18:07:30

You're going to have to toughen up a bit if you want to be taken seriously as a chef!
And he has a point. Do you know how many restaurants fold in the first year?

But who cares what he said anyway?

StrangeGlue Tue 16-Oct-12 18:13:10

All as well you're leaving as he's a dick who's only nice when it suits him. Maybe it'll fail but maybe it won't snd even if it does you'll have excellent experience.

extremepie Tue 16-Oct-12 18:14:07

Toughen up? In what way? Not being defensive, genuine question! You're probably right in a way

I know a lot of restaurants fold in the first year but surely that is my problem, not his? It was the way he said it too, like 'I am going to say anything I can to make you stay here rather than join a competing restaurant, especially since we are short staffed in our kitchen!'

extremepie Tue 16-Oct-12 18:19:29

You're right charliefox, at least I don't have to stress about it any more, and that's what I thought too strangeglue smile

GoSakuramachi Tue 16-Oct-12 18:20:21

You just sound a bit of a delicate flower for a chef is all. Of course he said things to make you stay, its got to be a big arse and cost money to replace you, easier to try and keep you.
Cheffing is generally quite cut throat, no point getting upset about something as innocuous as this.

MissRee Tue 16-Oct-12 18:22:58

You're clearly a valued member of the team and he's desperate to try and keep you! Yes, he's being a dick but take it as a compliment wink

extremepie Tue 16-Oct-12 18:23:44

Yeah true, I've dealt with worse, as most people who work in catering have - I'm not delicate though, just not a complete twat which some chefs are!

extremepie Tue 16-Oct-12 18:25:41

*That was aimed at GoSakura by the way, not you MissRee, I'm not that arrogant!

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