I am currently working in a bar attached to a hotel but recently applied for, and got, a full time chef job at a new restaurant that opens on Saturday just up the road from the place I am at now.
I am really excited about this new job, the hours are good, the pay is good and because I'm going to be there from the start of this new business I have been asked for my input into the menu and design of the kitchen, etc.
The day before yesterday I was at work in the bar when my boss takes me to one side and tells me he is offering me a full time job in the kitchen of the hotel, at the same time basically bad-mouthing my new employers. He said he didn't trust the owner and that working at their hotel would be a better opportunity for me because the other place would probably go out of business soon and then I would be left without a job. I said I would like to think about it as I had already accepted the job offer from the new restaurant and needed time to decide.
I decided that I wanted to stick with my original decision, as I didn't feel it was fair to leave them in the lurch with trying to find someone else at such short notice, plus they offered me the job first!
I phoned my boss today to tell him what I had decided and he starts getting really funny with me saying things like 'well thank you for dropping me right in the shit' and 'well I think you're an idiot for turning down this opportunity and it won't come again' - basically insulting me for turning them down!
I was initially upset about it as he has always been really nice to me and I wasn't expecting him to turn on me like that but I also feel really annoyed that he put me in that difficult position of having to choose between them like that - either way I was going to let someone down!
He just sounds like a really frustrated employer to be honest, albeit slightly unreasonable and over the top. Who knows if it's the right decision - that will become clear in the fullness of time but don't torture yourself about it. You've made your decision, which is always better than sitting on the fence getting splinters in your bum! Maintain your dignity and professionalism, be polite and just stick out your notice period. Good luck!
Toughen up? In what way? Not being defensive, genuine question! You're probably right in a way
I know a lot of restaurants fold in the first year but surely that is my problem, not his? It was the way he said it too, like 'I am going to say anything I can to make you stay here rather than join a competing restaurant, especially since we are short staffed in our kitchen!'
You just sound a bit of a delicate flower for a chef is all. Of course he said things to make you stay, its got to be a big arse and cost money to replace you, easier to try and keep you. Cheffing is generally quite cut throat, no point getting upset about something as innocuous as this.