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to ask you how bedt to supporty neighbour whom has been subjected to lots of domestic violence

(8 Posts)
SoleSource Tue 16-Oct-12 16:16:37

Yet another D/V incodent last night. 4am. I dialled 999. Today she seems teary, loneky, down, worried about tbe Social Services risk asessment by child protection. I have been to visit offered my u.conditional support and told her I care. I do not tnink she has many friends,/family as I do not.

I have known her a bit since she was.15. She is now 23. Her DD is 3 and was screaming this morning.

I am 50/50 as to whether she will take him back again

Any tips/advice?

I have mentioned WA recovery programme and offered to accompany her at first.

I just want her to get therapy and feel OK about herself as she will not find what she is looking for in a man.

SoleSource Tue 16-Oct-12 16:18:00

She losy her Father ti cancer at a very young age and a few montbs ago found her Mother dead in their house.

Asmywhimsytakesme Tue 16-Oct-12 16:21:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SoleSource Tue 16-Oct-12 16:22:26

Thank you. I have thought of that. I shall offer.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 16-Oct-12 16:29:15

keep doing exactly what your doing. anychance she would value your emotional support when/if ss come?

as an aside try to avoid convos about if he comes back as whilst we all know that wouldnt be good,she needs to reach that decision alone without presure, im sure she has been bullied enough by him and may possibly view comments by others as taking control away (obviously not saying you are doing this just how things can be misinterprited at times like this)

SoleSource Tue 16-Oct-12 16:35:35

Yeah veru god advice Sock. I have said it is for the best you do not take him back but no matter what you decide I am here. I won't judge you. I am not telling you wjat to do. I am here. Terrible for me I.side as she does need to come to her own conclusions and she os so much younger than I and she has such a lot goibg for her. I am very aware of not coming across as bossy or controlling. It is her life and I need her to beable to come to me if she feels she needs protecting. I learned tbe hard way too in terms of EA.

Purple2012 Tue 16-Oct-12 17:20:06

Just keep doing what you are doing. Chances are she will take him back time and time again. It's not her fault if she does this. This will be because of the hold he has over her. So it's best to let her know you will not judge her but that you will continue to be there for support whenever she needs it. Maybe in time, once she trusts you you could offer to keep some spare stuff at your house so if she needs to flee she has something you can bring to her.

If the police have been involved then they will be used to this and will have offered her support. But you could research what is available so if you are chatting to her about it you can discuss the best options with her.

She is lucky to have someone who cares and will look out for her.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 16-Oct-12 18:03:41

sole thats perfect exactly perfect.

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