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to tell DP we are co-sleeping and if he doesn't like it he can sleep on the sofa (long)

(202 Posts)
lola88 Tue 16-Oct-12 13:51:54

I want to co-sleep with DS 8mo DP doesn't. I want to put my foot down and tell him i'm bringing DS in with us if he doesn't like it he knows where the sofa is. I know that makes me sound like a total bitch but i can asure you i'm not, i've never put my foot down and demanded anything before i'm usually a bit of a people pleaser.

BUT DS is driving me to the point where i feel i am losing my mind. He has never been a good sleeper and has got worse as he gets older i have tried EVERYTHING to get him to sleep he just won't. A good night is 2 wakings the record for worst night (not counting teething and illness) is 9. Now that he's 8 months he's started to get seperation anxiety from me and the wakings are getting to every 1-2 hours just wanting me. He's lovely but even in the day very high needs.

I have now got to the stage i'm so tired i'm constantly upset, angry, weepy, i'm so forgetfull it becoming a problem in day to day life, i'm a shit friend constantly cancelling things (or forgetting them) because i want to try to sleep, i snap and DS and DN to much, and can't be bothered to do anything. The house is decending into a hovel but i just can't be bothered doing anything but the basics. I'm turning into this crazy woman i don't even know.

The last 2 nights i've brought DS from his cot into our bed at 11ish and have slept so much better sunday night he woke twice and needed resettled 2/3 times but i could settle him before he properly woke stopping it turning into an hour trying to get him back down, last night for the first time in his life he only woke once slept soundly until 7! I feel like i'm coming back to being a human being again i've managed to clean the house and be a fun mummy.

I want to keep going with bringing him in DP says no because then we have to try to get him to sleep alone when he's older and he knowss how tired i am but i should keep going. Well i say bullshit doing it one night a week then getting to sleep in til 12pm does not mean you know what it's like i need sleep for my sanity especially when i go back to work so DP will have to like it or lump it. I do see his point about then having to get DS back on his own at some point but to me that seems like the lesser of the 2 problems.


MysteriousHamster Thu 18-Oct-12 22:30:29

A nice co-sleeping story for you.

We started off with DS in his cot, but as he got to about 8 months it was getting harder to settle him after a feed and I was so so tired (had gone back to work), so we started co-sleeping. However I did it by just bringing him into bed when he woke - he'd nearly always start off the evening in his own cot.

I could tell some of my friends thought I was a bit mad, especially when he was still doing this at 2.

BUT I will say I slept really well with him in the bed, because he'd wake less often and go back to sleep much easier. My husband stayed in bed with us.

I did worry about whether he'd ever start sleeping properly on his own and just after he was 2 he started doing it of his own accord. Now he stays in his bed most days. Very occasionally he wakes up says 'mummy daddy bed!' and even more occasionally we take him into bed with us.

I treasure it now. Love a cuddle in bed smile

achillea Fri 19-Oct-12 12:50:20

Myterious, we did much the same thing. I agree, treasure it now as soon they won't want to co-sleep. Avoids rejection but shows them gently on their way to independence.

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