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To stay on the sofa?

(3 Posts)
WelshMaenad Tue 16-Oct-12 09:03:26

Pertinent facts - dd is disabled, her (mainstream, chisen by us) primary school is a 15 minute drive away. We take her to school. She needs help getting in and out of the car, sometimes lifting. Today we need to take her wheelchair into school as they are going on a class walk that's too far for her wee legs.

DS goes to playgroup in our village, it's a 10min walk down/up a very steep hill, or a 2-3 min drive. Usually when in my own I take dd to school then drop DS at playgroup on the way home. When DH us off, one of us takes dd, one takes DS. DH likes to walk if the weather is fine, as today. He's off today and planned to walk DS, while I drive dd to school.

I have a bit of a dodgy back - sciatica. Occasionally it just 'goes' and is agony.

This morning as I was tidying the kitchen, my back 'went'. I was literally sobbing, dragged myself to the sofa, tried not to move.

I told DH that he was going to have to take dd to school, I couldn't move let alone lift a six year old into a car and lift her wheelchair out, etc. DH then asked if I was going to take DS to playgroup! I pointed out, none too calmly, that I actually couldn't move, and he was going to have to take him in the way home.

He got into a right strop, muttering about if he had been in work I would have had to manage, got snappy about having to put the kids shoes on (again - immobile over here) then insisted I sat up to brush their hair. He has now stromped off with the kids in tow. I think he's sulking because he enjoys walking with DS, but he's also very healthy and doesn't 'get' why being hurt means I need to rest. He's shown me no sympathy at all or offered to get anything for me, he's just annoyed because I can't fulfil my 'role'. I'm not being funny, I manage both school runs alone 95% of the time, it's not like I've asked him to do something unusually wouldn't be prepared to do myself.

WIBU to get him to do both school runs whilst I sit down? And AIBU to want a bit of care and sympathy?

Imnotaslimjim Tue 16-Oct-12 09:18:43

I don't think YABU at all!! It doesn't matter if you would have to get on with it if he wasn't there. He IS there, and so you can rest!

Some men just don't see it though, my DH used to be like that but he is much better about it now.

I hope your back gets better soon, and he at least makes you a cuppa once he's back!

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Tue 16-Oct-12 09:26:58

My back goes too and I know how it feels...it's horrifying! Make sure you try to move about a bit today or it will get worse. YANBU of course...hopefully DH wiill feel shit about it soon and realise he was horrid.

Can I say....I went to yoga and saw SO much improvement in my back.

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