Aibu in not taking medication

[PinkFairyDust]

My first Aibu so please be gentle!

Was on anti depressants for near enough two years on the highest dose possible. One morning I woke up and just had enough of taking them (this did happen a few times whilst I was on them and within a week I was back on them because I was so so low)

I went cold turkey on them about August time and have not had any since then. I have been feeling a bit up and down but I put it down to life.

A few weeks ago I went to the doctor and asked for some medication which I have been one for about a year (was given it when living over seas) he refused to give it to me stating I'm addicted to them (which I don't believe is the case I take them as and when needed) he then asked me about my anti depressants and I said I had stopped them. He looked shocked and printed out a prescription for me to start taking straight away, he did not listen to me in the slightest and just told me to take these and everything would be ok.

I have started a new job and in week four and am enjoying it most of the time. Last week however I felt very tearful and on the edge of tears for no real reason. Over the last three days I have been barely out of my room and have not spoken to people - because I don't want to. Have been in my bed watching DVDs and sleeping the entire time.

Spoke to a friend who is also on anti depressants and she told me to take them again (who knows me inside out and upside down) but I know my parents (which is silly as I am an adult) would be upset if I started talking them again.

Should I listen to my friend who knows me no doubt better then I know myself? But equally I want to prove the doctor wrong that I don't need them.

Aibu in not wanting to take them because I thought I was doing so well without the and try and ride this blip out?

Sorry for the long post, I didn't want to drip feed as it seems you all hate them I'm just utterly confused right now

[OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos]

Unless there were severe side effects that made you stop taking them, I think you should take them.

[Pictureperfect]

If you feel your stable then I wouldn't go back on them just from a 5 min appoint with a gp. Could you see another doc and see if they agree?

[bonnieslilsister]

poor you but you are not doing so well really are you if

Last week however I felt very tearful and on the edge of tears for no real reason. Over the last three days I have been barely out of my room and have not spoken to people - because I don't want to. Have been in my bed watching DVDs and sleeping the entire time.

I think it seems as if you should take them, sorry

[WandaDoff]

You really aren't supposed to go cold turkey with antidepressants. You need to gradually reduce the dose.

[McHappyPants2012]

why did you stop taking them.

I would listen to your friend, start taking them and with help and support then come off them.

[BumpingFuglies]

It's never recommended to go cold turkey. However, you need your GP's advice on this (already given?) and your parents' opinion shouldn't come in to it. Do what's best for you and trust your own judgement.

[whathasthecatdonenow]

I play fast and loose with my ADs as carelessness about my health is a symptom of my condition. I have just gone back on ADs after taking myself off them cold turkey because I could feel myself sliding back down in the same way you are. I think that you should go back on them if you are in a bad way again.

Surely your GP should have questioned why you weren't getting repeat prescriptions? I always have to have an awkward phone call when I don't put mine in.

[PinkFairyDust]

Whathasthecatdownnow - seems a bit with me, playing with my medication but dont know if its a symptom or just my personality!

I just had enough of taking them really, had this quite a few times where I didn't take them for a while because I just didn't want too, couldn't see the point etc but at one point had my friend begging me to take them again

My doctors over seas gave me 6 months worth (not the best idea for these tablets surely along with other medication I was taking?!) and he didn't know I was back till I saw him so they don't ring me. Although they now might because they now I'm back in the uk for good.

My doc is the head doctor of the gp - and has put on my notes to make sure any doctor seeing me must not give me the medication I wanted and to make sure I was taking anti depressants still.

[whathasthecatdonenow]

They can't make you take the ADs, but you do sound like you need them. I'm on a much shorter leash than you - weekly scripts so no escaping the wrath of the doctor when I start messing with my meds. (Actually, I just don't answer the phone!).

Honestly, I'm the worst person to preach as I am shocking with my own condition, but it does sound like you would benefit from taking them again. However, only you can make that decision.

[Scaredbutdoingit]

I would say you really need to see a different doctor who will at least listen to your concerns and explore the various options with you, rather than just tell you what to do.

You don't even have to register with a new practice, you can just go to the same practice and ask specifically to see a different doctor from the one you saw (in the hopes they'd be better).

I think what you really need is a proper full-on conversation with somebody medical about all of the things you are thinking, and reasons you have for coming off the medication. Only then will they really be able to help you make an ongoing plan for the future. Wishing you all the best.

[QueenStromba]

I had a terrible bout of depression last summer which was so bad that my definition of a good day was one where I managed to have a shower and a very good day was if I had a shower and did something productive like a load of laundry. Last September I was well enough to halve my dose. This August I started talking about stopping them altogether because I thought they were messing with my head a bit. My DP encouraged me to stay on them and about two weeks later I realised that the problem with my antidepressants was that I was getting depressed again because I needed a higher dose. Realising that I was depressed again was really upsetting because I'd convinced myself that I was better to the point of not needing antidepressants when actually I was just getting worse. Luckily, with the guidance of my DP, I realised I was depressed before I reached the stage of locking myself in a darkened room for 3 months and am feeling a lot better now. Hiding away from the world for three days is not something that people who aren't depressed do and once you have gotten used to the safety of your bed it's very difficult to drag yourself out again. Please do take the medication, there's no shame in it and it will make you feel a lot better.

[SirBoobAlot]

Your GP sounds like a right tit, firstly, go back and see another one.

However, if you can feel yourself slipping like you describe, you really should think about taking some medication again. I understand why you stopped, have done it myself in the past. Recognising that you are feeling low enough to need some help is a really positive thing, by the way, so well done for that.

[Viviennemary]

I didn't think you were supposed to just stop taking the anti-depressants without seeing your doctor first. And I think they usually recommend a gradual withdrawal. You didn't say what the other medication was that the doctor refused to give you. Maybe it's time to think about seeing a different doctor who might be more understanding. It's not a very good sign when you say your doctor is not listening to you. He should listen and give reasons.

[wheresmespecs]

You shouldn't self diagnose and just stop taking ADs. You should come off them gradually, with the knowledge of your doctor, at an agreed dosage and preferably with counselling support so they can pick up on any signs you are having trouble.

When you are depressed your mood and judgement is affected. You need medical advice and it is sensible to follow it.

Are you having counselling too? And if not, why not? That is the recommended treatment for depression - it is simply the most successful.

I have had several depressive episodes, took ADs each time and came off them each time when it was appropriate, and with support.

My partner was on high dose ADs for years, never went for counselling, and decided to go cold turkey one day, without telling me. It was incredibly stupid and selfish. He had mood swings he couldn't control, a temper like hell out of nowhere, and behaved in a very self destructive way. He then of course felt like a failure and a drug addict when in fact he had just tried to do something NOT recommended. And entirely unnecessary.

He is not depressed now, and is not taking ADs but it has been a long journey and it needed him to at least talk to his GP.

Please, give yourself the best chance of recovering and be responsible for your health.

[onmyhonour]

you can just have a bad week, having been depressed doesn't preclude you from that. nor does it mean that you are getting depressed again, loads of people who don't suffer from depression hide away from the world for awhile to recoup and can get tearful. however you know yourself best and can tell if the symptoms are progressing in to something more sinister. what do you honestly think?

[CwtchesAndCuddles]

What is the medication the GP has refused to give you?

I really think it sounds like you need to go back on the ADs, you can't just go from a high does to nothing - you may be ok for a few weeks but it's unlikey to last. From what you have said you are relapsing now and need help.

[ppeatfruit]

Pink I know nothing about medically prescribed A.D.'s I've taken alternatives during the menopause for a v. short time. I would say come off them slowly as other O.P's have said BUT also look hard at your lifestyle as well, do you smoke? Do you drink a lot esp. spirits? How acid is yr diet ? So much in our lives is controlled by our lifestyle.

I remember a T.V. programme with a doctor who had totally cured herself of depression by taking magnesium and E.F.A.'s.

[PinkFairyDust]

I know I should not just stop taking them, but I did and I felt fine (slight withdrawal) when I came of them I felt fine And its been near enough 2 months.

I have counselling and it did bugger all, just made me more confused/angry etc

I'm not sure what I think, I'm up today and I don't feel normal as such I feel better then I did yesterday.

At my friends house I have spare medication so I can always go back to hers to get some more. I have moved house so need to get a new doctor (maybe one who actually listens to me?!)

Thanks for all the support

[hedgehogpatronus]

Have you thought about having a medication review under a psychiatrist? I just wonder if perhaps the ads you have been on may not be the best possible one for you, as you say you couldn't see the point in taking them?

I was on escitalopram on and off for ten years, prescibed by a GP, and never felt very confident that they were helping much, but at the same time I kinda knew I should be on something, because I wasn't quite coping. The bloody GP never even suggested the idea of looking at other meds, or seeing a psychiatrist to review my diagnosis and treatment, just kept on writing script after script of the same drug, until I finally had had enough and took myself off to another GP who referred me to a shrink who re-evaluated everything, and ended up switching me to something else. A few years and a few more tweaks later, and I think I've finall found the meds that work for me.

I'm of the opinion that just because one antidepressant doesn't quite do it for you, get some advice from someone knowledgable and try another! There's ansolutely no reason why you should stay on the same drug just because that's the one you've always been on.

I wish you the very best of luck, OP. It's a bloody hard slog, this mental health malarky!

[frumpet]

Take the tablets , then arrange to come off them in staged way over a period of time . From what you have said in your OP then i think you are sliding back into depression . Better to cut it off at the pass , than wait until you feel truly terrible.

Why do your parents even need to know that you are taking them again ? and it sounds as though they do not understand the physiological reasons for depression . Have you explained that depression is physiological ? that the mental health aspect is caused by a chemical imbalance ? Ask them , if you were a diabetic would they be pleased if you stopped taking your insulin or medication? They would be horrified , but because a lot of people fail to understand the physiological reasons for depression , they just see it as people being fed up and that they should pull themselves together . If you have depression as opposed to general fedupness or are experiencing a period of grief with a particular reason , you simply cannot do this as your body is no longer working in the way it should . The tablets do the job of the body until such a time as the body is able to take over again .

[SirBoobAlot]

Really think those of you who are having a go at the OP for stopping taking them need to ease off. She's already done it, it was a while ago, and she's certainly not the only person ever to do it. A lot of people make the mistake with ADs of "I feel fine now, so I don't need these any more" and just stop them.

Really think a new doctor is called for, and possibly a chat with your parents, if you can face it. There's a booked called "Depression: The Curse Of the Strong" which really helped my parents realise that I wasn't just being a moody cow, that I was actually ill.

Also if counselling didn't work, then its worth thinking about another therapy. There are a whole range you can try, and it tends to be very individual what works for different people.

[frumpet]

Definately get the book "depression: the curse of the strong" , it is fantastic and explains depression in a thorough way . Get your parents to read it . It has been a bloody godsend for me and several of my friends in helping to explain to those ignorant about depression , what it actually is and how it effects people.

[ZombTEE]

The worst person to decide if a person should go off their AntiD's is the person taking them.

Take them.

[frumpet]

If its any consolation OP , i have done exactly the same thing myself this year . Took AD's for about 3-4 months and thought 'oh i feel so much better ' , i don't need them anymore . Stopped taking them , all was fine for a while , then the anxiety started , the despondency , the mood swings , not being able to cope and crying , you get the picture ? So i now take them again , and lo and behold life is more bearable .
I am going to take them at least until next march , then depending on how i feel i will sit down with the Dr and work out a plan to come off them , if thats what they advise .

[GilbGeekette]

I'm not sure what the other meds your GP is refusing to prescribe are, but is there any way that these could be causing you to feel low? I'm not suggesting that you are addicted to anything, but some meds can have withdrawal symptoms.

I'd add my voice to the keep taking the ADs vote, but I know that it doesn't always work that way. I loathed taking my antipsychotics, which I did for years, but I knew that if I came off them I relapsed, putting myself and those around me through hell. Eventually my psych said that if I viewed it as a more organic disease, like f'rinstance, diabetes, would I still resent taking the meds? That helped me be clearer.

Anyway, you sound like you're having a rough time so and and I hope you find a resolution and start to feel better soon.