Advanced search not feel guilty about upsetting MIL

(64 Posts)
ohnowwhat Mon 15-Oct-12 17:17:15

At weekend my dd was having a sleep over at mil and dil's. She had already been on the computer with daddy and had about an hour which is the most we allow her.(she only has computer time about twice a week as well)
When she was getting ready to go I told her that as she had already been on the computer that she should not go on mil's (Its an Ipad) that night, and if she went on it the next day she shouldn't go on it for too long.
I told her this as the last time she went and stayed over she was on it for hours.
When Mil brought her back she seemed cool with me.
When she had gone dh told me that I had 'upset her' because I dd had told her that 'mummy said not to go on it tonight'
Why on earth should it upset her that dd was being good and remembering her computer rules?
I don't get it?

seoladair Mon 15-Oct-12 17:19:06


OldCatLady Mon 15-Oct-12 17:20:17

I think probably MIL uses the iPad to distract DD so she can get rest time. It may sound mad be sure it's just one night but I know my mother couldn't constantly entertain young children, and would need down time. Also your DD wouldn't have all her usual toys and distractions, so maybe she bores easily there?

Or it could just be a case of MIL not liking being told 'what to do', though of course it's your DD being told what to do but she might not see it that way.

OldCatLady Mon 15-Oct-12 17:20:55

Because* not be sure!

Pumpster Mon 15-Oct-12 17:22:04

I think yabu and rather rigid!

HeathRobinson Mon 15-Oct-12 17:22:10

Perhaps mil sees it as her special treat, letting her gd on her ipad, and therefore missed out?

Or, mil sees it that you're controlling what she chooses to do with gd?

maybenow Mon 15-Oct-12 17:27:40

Maybe mil was looking forward to doing it together? She'd maybe found games or sites particularly to do together with your dd.

It's similar to if she'd planned a special movie night then your dd turns up saying she isn't allowed to wach tv.

I actually find it a bit odd that screen time at one house should carry over to a visit to somebody... would you also have given the same instructions if your DD was going over to a friend's house?

usualsuspect3 Mon 15-Oct-12 17:29:52


hillyhilly Mon 15-Oct-12 17:31:41

Yabu for any of the reasons mentioned above.
If you know your dd plays on grandmas iPad then don't use her screen time up before she goes

SarahBumBarer Mon 15-Oct-12 17:31:46

Maybe because it is her house and her rules and you should not seek to impose your rules on her if you are getting childcare from her.


sue52 Mon 15-Oct-12 17:33:09

YABU and a bit of a control freak.

PickledFanjoCat Mon 15-Oct-12 17:34:29

Yabu! She should be able to choose how to entertain her within reason. If she enjoys going on iPad you should have not let her go on your computer if your strict about it, and you then have to cope with her disappointment!

ZombTEE Mon 15-Oct-12 17:37:39

YABU You just are.


WhenShallWeThreeMeetAgain Mon 15-Oct-12 17:38:53

Gawd OP - lighten up !

WorraLiberty Mon 15-Oct-12 17:41:35

You're right to be so over cautious

Your DD might catch one of those computer viruses

Everlong Mon 15-Oct-12 17:43:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bringbacksideburns Mon 15-Oct-12 17:43:39

Haha @ 'unclench.'

I think i should trying adopting that as my mantra.

Haemadoots Mon 15-Oct-12 17:44:06


ZombTEE Mon 15-Oct-12 17:45:58

grin worra

pictish Mon 15-Oct-12 17:48:33


How rigid are you?!

Let your mil decide what happens with her and her gds time together and chill out!!

lambethlil Mon 15-Oct-12 17:55:54

How old is your DD?

There was a bunfight thread recently about restricting screen time. One linked blogger had banned all screens for her under 2, and very honestly admitted it made life a pain for everyone else who looked after her child.

quoteunquote Mon 15-Oct-12 18:00:35

I would think that grandma and DD probably enjoy exploring the internet together.

and a good way for grandma to get a few moments off, during visits, I would let them.

lovebunny Mon 15-Oct-12 18:06:51

was the sleepover for the dd's sake, or were you getting free babysitting?

Adversecamber Mon 15-Oct-12 18:10:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

katiecubs Mon 15-Oct-12 18:13:45

YABU just be bloody grateful they are there to provide sleepovers and let them entertain your DD how they see fit!

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