Always had issues with MIL from day dd1 was born (now 2.6) - overbearing doesn't really cover it. Basically when she is around dd1 she assumes parental control and won't have it any other way. When she contradicts my 'orders' to dd1 and I say something back she will grudgingly let it go but tries to avoid that situation. She won't stop no matter how many times I say 'No MIL I said dd1 had to get ready for bed/have a bath/have her tea' etc. With dh she will outright say 'no she's doing this'.
MIL is generally very shy, submissive to FIL, not lots of friends etc. She is very sweet. On this issue though she is quite frankly a monster. Over the 2.6 years dh and I have argued countless times about this - he says I over react and put him in the middle. I am generally ill before we see them and spend the whole time feeling sick. With dd2 she is pretty much ok - it's dd1 she's really focused on.
Before seeing them this weekend dh and I had a MASSIVE row. He basically told me I was making the issue up and had to deal with it and that putting him in the middle was hurting him a lot. We agreed that he would put himself more in the middle of it and listen more. She outright told him to shut up twice when he tried to override what she doing/saying to dd1. He let it go as they were minor incidents apparently. He did however admit that she does want to assume parental control and will not back down, I was right.
I want him to say sorry, I want him to admit that he has put our relationship and me second to his need to feel like he's the one making his mum happy every time we've seen them for the last 2.6 years. All those weekends where she's been allowed to behave 'badly' and not have any emotional upset and all our rows and all my tears and stress! Hmpf.
Am I being unreasonable?
If you vote no then he's getting it straight tonight!
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AIBU?
To feel that dh should have listened to me?
10 replies
pommedechocolat · 15/10/2012 13:21
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