Not going to weddings and big family occasions is taking it a bit too far, but YANBU to want to be rid of them in your day to day life if you really don't get on with them. As long as you don't interfere in your DHs relationship with them and don't try to stop him from spending time with them, then it's up to you if you go along too.
Well I don't have anything much to do with my inlaws at all so I can't see why you should have to if you don't want to. I have distanced myself to the point where I don't know any of their addresses or phone numbers, don't have them as friends on FB, and although I know roughly where MiL lives, I would have to get the children to show me exactly which flat it is in the block. Last time I actually saw MiL in the flesh was when she turned 80 and she will be 84 (I think, maybe 83 or 85) in january. Her 80th birthday meal was the last family event I went to too, and there have been several more since then. DH takes our children (as opposed to my children another bone of contention) to see her once a week or so and I stay home and enjoy the peace The older I get, the less inclined I am to do things I don't want to do, and having anything to do with DHs family is one of them.
Yanbu. The in laws et al are nothing to you really. They are not friends, blood relations or even people you like or enjoy being aroumd. I Would not waste my time on folk who I have zero affection or respect for. Well done for refusing to tolerate shit behaviour.