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to not understand the words "I'm not a feminist"?

(415 Posts)
bushymcbush Sun 14-Oct-12 22:51:17

I've seen this countless times on MN and I really don't get it.

Actually I've heard it quite a few times in RL too.

So, to those of you who are so keen to communicate your non-feminist standing, could you please explain to me which part of 'total equality between the sexes' you disagree with?

Alternatively, you could (gently) explain to me which part of that generic description of feminism I seem to have misunderstood?

crackcrackcrak Mon 15-Oct-12 00:03:27

I am a feminist. I am attractive, I wear make up and dye my hair and remove body hair. I like to be sexy and feminine. I am unashamed of being a woman.

I have been discriminated, abided and attacked because I am a woman. I also now work in an environment where men are able to work together with women and not be a nuisance. Now I have seen its possible I'm even more feminist.

I don't hate men.

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:06:31

I belive in equality of opportunity but men and women are different.

I agree with that statement. And I am a feminist. Different but equal.

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Mon 15-Oct-12 00:08:05

I am a feminist. I also don't hate men.

RubyFakeNails Mon 15-Oct-12 00:08:33

I identified as a feminist before I joined mn. Then I realised, or actually I was told I am not a feminist so now I don't call myself a feminist on here or in real life.

NellyJob Mon 15-Oct-12 00:09:27

I am attractive, I wear make up and dye my hair and remove body hair
so do you mean you wouldn't be attractive if you didnt shave your fanjo?

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:10:09

Runy, can you explain why you changed your mind please?

grovel Mon 15-Oct-12 00:11:52

Nellyjob smile

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:12:12

^I am attractive, I wear make up and dye my hair and remove body hair
so do you mean you wouldn't be attractive if you didnt shave your fanjo?^

Those two things are not mutually exclusive in that sentence.
Just part of the same list.

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:13:04

Sorry I meant mutually dependent, not exclusive.

ilovesooty Mon 15-Oct-12 00:14:33

I identify with what Ruby said. Having been criticised by some of the "militant" feminists on MN it's certainly left me feeling that if their views are what feminism is, I don't think I'll describe myself as one.

NellyJob Mon 15-Oct-12 00:14:43

bit of a giveaway comma though, isn't it 'BushyMcbush'?

crackcrackcrak Mon 15-Oct-12 00:16:11

Obviously - if you don't shave your bits you're a minger! wink

RubyFakeNails Mon 15-Oct-12 00:17:10

Am I Runy?

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Mon 15-Oct-12 00:21:44

A large part of being a feminist is having the courage of your convictions

If a couple of strangers on t'internet make you wimp out, that's a bit wet, IMO

There is room for several strands within feminism if you stand your ground

If you spot your dummy out, it makes you equally as aggressive in a passive way

Much like marrieds post above, which actually comes across as woman-hating

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Mon 15-Oct-12 00:22:16


bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:22:55

Nellyjob, see what you mean about Crackscracks use of comma but what's your point? If removing body hair makes her feel attractive does that mean she can't be a feminist at all, of any kind?

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:24:05

Yes Ruby you are indeed Runy, sorry!

NellyJob Mon 15-Oct-12 00:25:15

no she can be what she likes, feminism is about respecting choices I think, I was just pulling her leg.
I suppose we are all feminists really but some types I met in the 80s kind of put me off the word.....for example..dismissing cheap and desperate prostitutes as 'not women'.

WorraLiberty Mon 15-Oct-12 00:26:07

I've just typed and lost a long post OP but to cut it short...

It seems to me that the majority of women who openly label themselves as feminists are ok...they seem level headed and open to debate.

However, the minority of rad fems can and still do the most damage with their extreme views and bullying of any woman who doesn't 'fall into line'.

I grew up in the 70's and 80's as the daughter of Irish catholic parents and I was so very proud of my heritage (still am).

However, when the IRA started their bombing campaign, I would rather have pulled my eyes out with rusty spoons than admit I was of Irish Catholic decent at that time.

I imagine a lot of Muslims felt the same way after 9/11.

So whilst a relatively small group of people shouldn't hold all the cards, it seems that they often do.

I will never call myself a feminist whilst there are rad fems around who might make people think I share their views...hence the reason I will only label myself as 'me'.

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:27:12

And indeed Ruby, perhaps it's the fake nails that class you as non feminist in the minds of some?

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Mon 15-Oct-12 00:28:23

No feminists I know dismiss prostitutes as "not women"

They leave that to the johns and their supporters who see prostituted women as something "other"

crackcrackcrak Mon 15-Oct-12 00:29:56

I find some of the posts so disheartening. Do we really have to explain that feminism isn't really about bra burning and man hating? Do some women really, truly not get that?

I find marriedinwhite's post quite bizarre.

WorraLiberty Mon 15-Oct-12 00:31:31

They leave that to the johns and their supporters who see prostituted women as something "other"

And if the prostitute is working for herself only?

You know 'johnless' cos she's a business woman and can succeed in her chosen career alone?

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:31:48

So Worra, if you were a Muslim (and you might be for all I know) would you refuse to label yourself as such until extremist wings such as the Taliban have disappeared?

bushymcbush Mon 15-Oct-12 00:35:56

All that happens when we disa ssociate ourselves from a group because we don't agree with the extreme end, is that the extreme end become even more visible and representative of the group as a whole.

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