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To feel that my body has utterly let me down .......

(21 Posts)
Spice17 Sun 14-Oct-12 15:00:02

Hi all

I'm 41+1 weeks pregnant today and I just cannot believe nothing's happened (I realise that sounds silly in itself) I feel very embarrassed that my body doesn't seem to be able to go into labour naturally for whatever reason.

I've had no indications (no show or anything) apart from a few twinges that disappear just when I think 'oooh, what's that?!' and I had about 3 contractions over 2 hours last Wednesday night/early morning.

I can't describe the frustration I feel which is now turning to anger - am I stupid to think that I'm completely and totally letting myself down and that I'm not a proper woman because it won't happen?

Likley to be induced on Thurs but it's at a hospital where a bug has recently caused some deaths in prem babies, so I can't even get it pre booked in and have to call on the day (MW gave me a number she thinks I can call 'because all the wards are moving around' feels a bit unsettling/worrying to say the least!)

Have tried some of the usual stuff by the way - I am properly gutted sad

Wolfiefan Sun 14-Oct-12 15:05:08

Never been induced so no helpful advice there but your body has grown a baby. Good job!
Being a mother is feeding, playing, changing, cuddling, loving, singing, nurturing and laughing. Get your baby here in the safest way possible then enjoy.

ivanapoo Sun 14-Oct-12 15:06:15

YABVU, if you were well past 42 weeks I would understand your frustration more, but even do blaming yourself will only hinder not help!

Be easy on yourself, you are doing something amazing!

CailinDana Sun 14-Oct-12 15:06:20

How you're feeling is totally normal, being overdue is so bloody frustrating. I was only 5 days over and i remember stomping around the house in a fury shouting at dh saying nothing was ever going to happen...12 hours later ds was in my arms :-). It will happen, honest. Waiting is awful. Hang in there sweetheart.

Groovee Sun 14-Oct-12 15:08:13

I felt similar when I developed pre-eclampsia and to to deliver the baby early. I felt like it had failed me and DD when realistically we were both healthy and that's all that mattered.

It's hospitals who have changed pregnancy to 40 weeks when it used to be much longer before all the technology x

HoratiaWinwood Sun 14-Oct-12 15:08:34

Your body has not failed - it has been nourishing a baby so successfully for nine months that he doesn't want to leave!

Please don't worry about the bug. The ward in question has been super deep cleaned and all staff will be ultra vigilant. In many ways you're safer there than other hospitals at the moment.

Whether you go into labour naturally or are induced, and whether you have a VB or CS, has absolutely no bearing on how good a parent you will be.

Good luck.

aimingtobeaperfectionist Sun 14-Oct-12 15:11:36

I know being overdue is awful so I hope this doesn't sound patronising but please try not to concentrate on counting the days. You have no idea when baby was specifically conceived (I'm assuming you didn't do ivf) and each baby and each woman is different so there's nothing wrong with you or your body. In fact, it's doing a brilliant job looking after this tiny baby-congratulate yourself! Soon enough you will be changing nappies and realising a few days at this point doesn't make much difference, I know it feel like it though. Enjoy the rest because you need your energy for the labour- again I know thi is irritating to hear but by god, I wish I'd listened to that bit! Good luck and hope it happens soon for you.

nananaps Sun 14-Oct-12 15:17:44

Well thats a surprise!

I fully expected a opening post about having multiple miscarriages or infertility or cancer or somesuch! shock

Glad to see its just that you havent gone into labour yourself....YET!!

Ooooh it could be anytime now then couldnt it!!

I am sympathetic given that i am only 24 weeks and uncomfortable and grumbling and grumpy!

cantmakecarrotcake Sun 14-Oct-12 15:18:08

I was exactly the same with DD. I had sweeps from my due date and nothing happened at all. Then my induction failed and I had a c-section.

YANBU to feel that way (I did) but realistically you do know that's not the case, don't you?

The medical profession like babies out by 42 weeks, but it's a fairly arbitrary number (why not 42+1) which is the time point used when studying overdue births. You can hang on a bit if you can face it? You might just cook babies longer than average.

I don't know what to say about the hospital with bugs/deaths but would you have gone there regardless of the induction? Could you switch?

Re the induction, I can't say mine was fun, but I took forever (5 days from admission to birth). Everyone on the ward came and went much quicker than I did which I think is the norm (I'm definitely an outlier).

Good luck, I hope it all happens naturally for you. Xx

Spice17 Sun 14-Oct-12 15:19:32

Many thanks for all your sage advice/comments - can always count on lovely MNetters smile

I realistically know that she will arrive at some point (very, very likely by this time next week - gulp!) but I have never experienced a feeling like this before in my life.

I have never willingly wanted/prayed to be in pain before!! confused

McHappyPants2012 Sun 14-Oct-12 15:25:48

Ds was born at 42 weeks gestation. Ended up being induced which was ok.

It is normal to feel like this, but one way or another your baby will be born soon.

HappyHalloweenMotherFucker Sun 14-Oct-12 15:26:46

No it hasn't

Northernlurkerisbehindyouboo Sun 14-Oct-12 15:29:57

I thought this would be about baby loss too tbh.

Look Op - being overdue sucks. I've been overdue a total of 4 weeks over three pregnancies. It's rubbish but some of us just cook longer than others.

Keep monitoring your baby's movements. As long as they don't change from what's normal for your baby then all is fine and you just need to wait a few more days. By this time next week then you will have your baby. You can wait a week right? smile

MyLastDuchess Sun 14-Oct-12 15:30:20

I went into labour on the night of 41+1 and DS was born the next morning. It could all start happening really quickly. I had my show, an hour later contractions started, and we were off!

There's nothing wrong with your body! Here in NL we of course get given an EDD but the range of 'normal' is considered to be any time from 37 to 42 weeks.

I can understand your frustration, the last weeks of pregnancy can be a total drag. It really won't be long now though!

TessCowDirect Sun 14-Oct-12 15:34:36

I was induced with both my DSs (42 weeks +).

Frustrating as it is, why not take advantage of these last hours / days before you go into labour.

Go and have a lovely long soak in the bath, treat yourself to something nice, spend some quality time with your partner. All things that you will struggle to find the time to do once baby appears.


mummymeister Sun 14-Oct-12 17:05:35

All 3 of mine were born at exactly 43 weeks because this is how long my body decided it should carry babies for. i was climbing the walls the first time but by the last i just had the 43 week date in my head instead. i think only 5% of babies arrive on their due date so you just need to chill out a bit. your body has so far done a fantastic job now rest up and pamper yourself because the next big job for your body is just around the corner!!

whatsonyourplate Sun 14-Oct-12 17:29:05

I know it's frustrating. I went 2 weeks overdue with DS, and woke up having contractions on the day I was due to be induced, so there is plenty of time yet. Your body has not failed you, it just thinks baby needs a few extra days cooking yet. But I understand the rage, I'm 39+5 and I'm afraid my two DCs have been bearing the brunt of it today.

Soupqueen Sun 14-Oct-12 17:33:44

Mine is letting me down by refusing to get pregnant, but I know that won't ease your frustration at all. It will happen, and soon. Good luck.

lljkk Sun 14-Oct-12 17:42:36

I thought this would be about Lupus, or MND, or general immune system malfunction.

Hope the baby makes an appearance soon, OP smile.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 14-Oct-12 17:43:03

OP - I was induced with DS1 and had an EMCS. I had a planned section with DS2.

So I have never gone into labour of my own accord, but I grew my babies, fed them with my milk, cuddled them in my arms and love them more each day. Has my body let me down - or them? Absolutely not.

Hang in there, one way or another you will meet your baby soon smile

bigkidsdidit Sun 14-Oct-12 17:45:00

I went to 42+1 without DS even being engaged and those were, no question, the worst two weeks of my life. Massive sympathies.

Your body hasn't let you down - I was hat late bit had a good birth and breastfed easily. Your body has a way to go yet smile

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