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To think DM should report this?

(66 Posts)
Moominsummermadness Sun 14-Oct-12 08:46:25

Dsis aged 15 was attacked last night. She was supposed to be getting a lift home from wherever she'd been with a friend, but friend disappeared, so friend's parents didn't pick Dsis up. She decided to walk instead of calling Dm, and took a shortcut across recreational ground. It was pitch black.

Dm called me early this morning. When Dsis got home, she went straight to her room. DM could tell something wasn't right, Dsis admitted she'd been physically assaulted from behind, and had been knocked unconscious. She woke up on the ground some time later. She doesn't know if she was sexually assaulted or not.

I told DM to get Dsis checked out and report it to the police. She doesn't want to involve the police, thinking that they will be insensitive. She has agreed to take her to A&E to get checked out though. So worried for Dsis and the effects this may have on her. Any advice ?

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 08:49:18

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

HaveALittleFaith Sun 14-Oct-12 08:49:51

Good grief yes, it needs reporting! Chances are if she explains what happened in A&E they'll offer her the chance to report it anyway but yes, she needs to report it - YANBU. I hope she's ok.

ZiggyPlayedGuitar Sun 14-Oct-12 08:51:03

Of course yanbu! Hope your sister is ok.

MyLastDuchess Sun 14-Oct-12 08:51:12

Definitely report it. If nothing else, the police can warn others (not that this is your sister's responsibility mind you). It helps them to get a picture of what's going on where and may affect funding or patrols.

I suppose there's always a chance that they will be insensitive but that's when your DM gets to step in and say hang on, how dare you suggest it was her fault (or whatever).

I'm very sorry that this has happened and I really hope your DSis is ok.

LittleBearPad Sun 14-Oct-12 08:51:30

She should report it. The police are sadly used to dealing with these situations. It's possible that if it isn't reported and dealt with it may cause longer term issues for your DSis. Hope she's ok, poor thing.

Funnylittleturkishdelight Sun 14-Oct-12 08:51:56

Go with her to hosp and make sure she reports it. This attacker must be caught.

littleducks Sun 14-Oct-12 08:53:25

Take her to A&E. The staff there should be used to then dealing with police and it might be an easier setting than walking into a police station.

Don't ignore what happened, your sister is probably in shock especially if she was knocked unconcious she may be incapable of making the right decision at the moment.

I expect she feels guilty and worried she will be in trouble as she didn't call your mum, make sure you tell her its not her fault (alot)

Hopeforever Sun 14-Oct-12 08:53:59

If she has been knocked out she needs to be checked over at a & e even if she refuses to see the police

mamij Sun 14-Oct-12 08:54:23

Report it! It may help stop others being treated the same way.

Also, as your Dsis is 15 the police may have special assistants (sorry don't know the correct terminology) to help.

snooter Sun 14-Oct-12 08:55:11

The police may well be more sensitive & sympathetic than she expects. Needs reporting as mentioned above in order to protect others from this dangerous individual if nothing else.

Kinora Sun 14-Oct-12 08:57:42

This must be reported.

What injuries does your dsis have? Must have been a nasty attack for her to be unconscious.

Hopefully there may be cctv cameras near the area of the recreational ground, even if it was pitch black.

I hope she's ok.

JeezyOrangePips Sun 14-Oct-12 08:59:42

Absolutely it needs to be reported.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 09:03:34

Is there anything to stop you reporting it to the police?

FutureNannyOgg Sun 14-Oct-12 09:04:37

The police will be fine, they'll assign female officers who are trained in dealing with this.
If reporting helps stop this, or worse, happening to another girl, it has to be worth it.

Moominsummermadness Sun 14-Oct-12 09:13:33

Just spoken to DM again, sister is refusing to even go to A&E. I'm going over to their house later (live a few miles away). Will speak to Dsis myself to try to persuade her to get checked out. Once I know more information I may report it to police anyway. I feel that I can't just let it lie.

ZillionChocolate Sun 14-Oct-12 09:16:28

http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/Referralcentres2.php

I would absolutely go to the police. They are much much better at this than they used to be. Can you go with your sister to support her? Your mother's attitude sounds unhelpful.

If your sister doesn't want to go to the police, or isn't sure yet, consider a SARC (link above). They can provide support, advice and crucially can do a medical examination and hold onto the results if your sister changes her mind about the police. I think she needs to know what's happened to her; this isn't something you can sweep under the carpet.

greenhill Sun 14-Oct-12 09:17:47

Hope your sister is ok this morning. IMO she needs to be checked out by a&e and the police contacted, a female officer will be assigned. Assaults need to be reported.

bochead Sun 14-Oct-12 09:18:14

Get her to A&E. The hospital staff will check her over (needs doing if she was hit over the head urgently!) They are also very experienced in helping children report to police and I promise they won't let her be made to feel uncomfy at any point. Trained officers deal with children & youngsters and they WILL be gentle when asking questions.

Hospital staff will also inform school and social services on your behalf - just so they can be on the look out for similar cases. (No judging at all of you or anything grotty, it really is just about spotting potential victims and catching the bad guys). This will mean school will be sufficiently alert to any warning signs of concussion, and/or shock.

My seven year old was attacked earlier this year so I have fairly recent experience of how kids are treated after assault. I cannot emphasise enough how important it is you get her to A&E, as head injuries aren't always obvious at first as being serious. Also the next victim could be killed.

MrsDeVere Sun 14-Oct-12 09:22:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Moominsummermadness Sun 14-Oct-12 09:29:33

Thanks everyone, I've suggested SARC to DM. I think I need to point out that this person may well attack someone else. I know that if anything ever happened to one of my DDs, I would take action straight away. Hopefully Dsis Will listen to me, I am 17 years older than her, but can remember being 15 better than DM! Also, I had a situation at that age which was a bit different, but should definitely have been reported, and I suffered the psychological effects for years later.

RobynRidingHood Sun 14-Oct-12 09:38:53

She doesn't know if she was sexually assaulted or not.

Rapists dont tend to redress the victims; putting knickers back on and adjusting skirts or zipping up jeans. I would suggest your mother steals her kickers from the washing basket and seals them in a ziplock bag.

Unfortunately she cannot make a 15yo submit to a medical examination nor speak to the police.

Being very pragmatic, first port of call is a pharmacist for MAP, followed by the STD clinic.

Thereafter I would be looking for a lump on her head where she was hit an knocked out.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 14-Oct-12 09:54:45

"Wtf has jimmy saville got to do with it?"

If everyone who is attacked does nothing and says nothing, then criminals get away with blue murder.

SecretCervix Sun 14-Oct-12 09:59:13

Cogito, your comment about Saville is DISGUSTING. Basically what you are saying is all those poor girls are in the wrong because they didn't say anything.

MrsDeVere Sun 14-Oct-12 10:09:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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