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to wonder if the concept of a 'yummy mummy' is a feminist issue, a class issue or just my issue

(135 Posts)
IveNoIntentionOfMakingCupcakes Sat 13-Oct-12 20:24:51

Yesterday, I met a father who made a comment about me being a 'yummy mummy'. At the time I smiled, was slightly embarrassed and also slightly irritated but I wasn't all that sure why?

Maybe it was just because he was a smarmy git but maybe it was something more. I have only ever heard the term used to imply that a woman is attractive and/or that a woman is middle class. It seems to me that the whole concept of 'yummy mummies' implies that there is also a group that are not 'yummy' and that's quite insulting really. AIBU?

achillea Sat 13-Oct-12 21:09:36

Of course, I never thought of that in my analysis - 'Mummy' is a very middle class term (when used by adults). It is also a class issue, implying that other classes aren't quite so yummy.

I hate the term, have never used it because it implies that mothers are somehow edible.

Mummiesarescary Sat 13-Oct-12 21:16:30

Don't know if it's a class issue, only see it on fb and it's not the middle class mums who are using it.

I don't like it, not sure why though.

IveNoIntentionOfMakingCupcakes Sat 13-Oct-12 21:23:26

It's not that I was offended on a personal level by that particular man. It's more about the fact that the term implies that there is an elite group of attractive mothers and that all other mothers are a bit crap.

It's a judgement based on appearance only and I find that pretty sexist.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 13-Oct-12 21:24:31

It's a bit patronizing. I don't think a man who was a good egg would say it.

SparklyGothKat Sat 13-Oct-12 21:28:09

I got called a 'yummy mummy to be' on my ebay feedback after someone came and collected an item. Took it as a compliment. grin

SomersetONeil Sat 13-Oct-12 21:33:53

Only 4 posts in before someone's suggested you're over-thinking it - good going. grin

You're not over-thinking about it, by the way. It's a cringey term.

Mrsjay Sat 13-Oct-12 21:38:07

nothing to do with Class dont you get pretty working class mothers , I think it is condescending an attractive 'yummy' woman who happens to be a mother MEH dont take it as a compliment and I think women who do are a bit shallow,

ClippedPhoenix Sat 13-Oct-12 21:43:17

What on earth is wrong with being good looking and being a mum? It's just a saying for god sake. Blimey grin

I love being recognised as a mum. I love saying I'm a mum.

The saying that makes me go a bit ummm, is "You look well" - why did I look sick before?

IveNoIntentionOfMakingCupcakes Sat 13-Oct-12 21:44:24

Clipped and SparklyGoth, I can totally see that someone would say it harmlessly and mean it as a compliment. It's not their fault that it is a widely-used term. It's the term itself I have a problem with.

ClippedPhoenix Sat 13-Oct-12 22:02:03

IveNo - whilst I don't get offended by the term at all you're within your rights to not like it. Everyone's different.

achillea Sat 13-Oct-12 22:48:22

The more I think about it, I dislike the word 'yummy'. It is the use of a child's language and there is actually something quite creepy about it being used to describe someone attractive. Reminds me of upper class buffoons like Boris Johnson trying to make a compliment but wanting to be condescending at the same time.

And yes I think I am over-thinking it, but that's the point of the thread. smile

ClippedPhoenix Sat 13-Oct-12 22:58:49

Stop it Achillea, I'm now finding it creepy

Next time someone a man says it i will have to ask him if he'd find be attractive in nappies grin

Mrsjay Sat 13-Oct-12 23:00:15

I think it is the yummy part that makes me cringe and tbh I have visions of very pretty designer clad ladies with flicky hair as 'yummy mummys' <cringe>

YouMayLogOut Sat 13-Oct-12 23:04:36

"Yummy" is an infantile word and certainly not one I'd want to hear from a complete stranger to describe me. I'd find it intrusive and patronising.

ChristineDaae Sat 13-Oct-12 23:10:20

Meh maybe I'm shallow but I was quite impressed at being called a yummy mummy on my first post baby night out. I felt fat and saggy so was nice to be complimented. Been called a milf a few times, don't mind depending on who says it. But I'm pretty laid back about that sort of stuff.

Proudnscary Sat 13-Oct-12 23:11:03

Oh for cripes sake, it's only 'yummy' because it rhymes with mummy. It really is not offensive unless said in scornful/sex pesty way.

scarlettsmummy2 Sat 13-Oct-12 23:13:51

To me it represents attractive, well off mums breast feeding in Starbucks with other women of a similar ilk.

PropertyNightmare Sat 13-Oct-12 23:16:52

There are some ugly mothers though. I don't get unduly upset by MILF etc. DILF is a now a recognised term (I believe that Gary Barlow is one).

waltermittymissus Sat 13-Oct-12 23:17:28

One of the school gate mafia dons at my ds's school used it on me once. It wasn't meant as a compliment!

More of a "you're a bimbo and because you're wearing make-up and heels you're a shit mum" type thing.

Helltotheno Sat 13-Oct-12 23:20:24

Irritating in the extreme... I'd sooner be called a milf than a 'yummy mummy'. I hate the word 'mummy' or even 'mum'... mum tum etc... boak sad

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I could nevah, evah be friends with someone who described herself as a 'yummy mummy' and wasn't being tongue in cheek about it... nah, we just wouldn't gel!

achillea Sat 13-Oct-12 23:27:11

Perhaps we need to invent some new terms for men, like DILF

achillea Sat 13-Oct-12 23:28:16

Oh, too late!

achillea Sat 13-Oct-12 23:28:55

Ok then, FILF.

WinkySlink Sat 13-Oct-12 23:30:11

My perception of the term is both a feminist and a class thing. I deem it to refer to women who are 'wealthy enough' to 'sit around' in coffee shops or restaurants, well dressed, with expensive buggys, clothes etc. Very much 'chattering classes' with the implication being that the chatting and image are more important than the baby, except where the 'chattering' is about schools/ bf/ agonising over child rearing. I think it is generally an offensive, condescending term. It seems to have transformed into a general 'fit mums' thing, which I actually find much less offensive.

LittleTyga Sat 13-Oct-12 23:34:46

A feminist issue - where are all the laddy Daddy comments? Oh wait a minute there aren't any!

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