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to think that this was a bit of an assumption?

(16 Posts)
CrapBag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:12:33

Friends and I are going out on Saturday, not in town but out. I am not going to drink as I am trying to save money and I just can't afford it at the moment. One friend asked me if I wasn't drinking, I said I wasn't. She then went into a speech about how her and her neighbour (I've only met her a couple of times) can get dropped off at my house, then we can go and pick up someone else on the way. confused

I didn't actually say I was driving, she has assumed (ok it was my plan but I was also going to ask another friend who lives near me if I could grab a lift with her, just because I am not drinking doesn't automatically mean I want to be the driver). I am often the driver as I don't always have a drink but there are a couple of friends who always drink so they have never been the driver (including this friend who has invited herself and her neighbour to mine, then apparently we are off to pick someone else up).

I don't mind so much giving a lift in, especially if they are being dropped at mine, but what bugs me is the ferrying home after. None of them are that close to my house. One is a short detour and the other two are quite out of the way, past where I live. It will be late and I get very tired at night and I just want to get home and crawl into bed, not drive drunk people home. I know it will be assumed that because I gave them a lift in, they will be getting a lift home from me. I am also on a very tight petrol budget this month and I am desperately trying not to drive much.

AIBU to feel annoyed about this? I have contacted the other friend who lives near me but she isn't sure if she is going to have her car that evening.

SoleSource Sat 13-Oct-12 20:17:40

Well you can say you didn't ecpect to be tbe driver and did not offer. Or explaon ypu are on a tight petrol budget abd ask for tbe money. Or just not go.

Birdsgottafly Sat 13-Oct-12 20:19:46

If i am friends enough to go drinking with people then i would be able to bring upmy finances, could you and they could chip in for petrol money?

I wouldn't resent giving someone a lift that i like enough to go on a night out with, especially if i wasn't drinking.

frazzledbutcalm Sat 13-Oct-12 20:19:59

YANBU. Just say sorry but I'm not the driver. Just do for yourself.

pictish Sat 13-Oct-12 20:20:17

Yabu to be upset over it.
All you had to say was 'I'm not driving'.

MrsWolowitz Sat 13-Oct-12 20:23:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cosysocks Sat 13-Oct-12 20:23:35

Just drive there, give them a lift. When your tired go home. They can make their own way home.

Birdsgottafly Sat 13-Oct-12 20:23:39

Why did you assume that your friend was driving?

You have done what they have done.

CrapBag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:25:34

They do know my finances, I am constantly having to say "no I can't do that as I can't afford it."

I didn't say I was upset over it. She caught me on the hop and I had DD bouncing beside me, her DS running off and I wasn't prepared for it or to respond. I can't very well say "yes I am driving, but no you can't all have lifts"

CrapBag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:27:07

I didn't assume my friend was driving, I asked her if she is and if she was I would have asked her if she minded me getting a lift, not assume I could, then invite myself and my neighbour over plus tell her we were getting someone else on the way.

TiAAAAARGHo Sat 13-Oct-12 20:29:45

I can't very well say "yes I am driving, but no you can't all have lifts"

Yep - you can. And if you feel uncomfortable with that, go with cosysocks suggestion.

CrapBag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:32:02

I do like cosysocks suggestion. I think I may say that upfront that I will take them in but they should probably club together for a taxi back as I am likely to leave before them.

Then it will probably turn out we all leave together and I get lumbered with driving people home anyway. I don't like saying no, nor am I very good at it sometimes.

SoleSource Sat 13-Oct-12 20:37:47

I do u.derstand you crapbag. (lol at name). Maybe ask for pwtrol this time, give tbem lifts and vow to yourselfyou will say no straight away next time.

Rowanhart Sat 13-Oct-12 20:40:38

Definitely take them all but warn them beforehand you are likely to leave early.

And them lea e early.

AThingInYourLife Sat 13-Oct-12 20:48:11


They are treating you as a free taxi service.

CrapBag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:55:32

Only problem with leaving early is its a ticketed event so I don't know if the end of the show will mean the end of the night. I will try and find out I think.

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