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to think you shouldn't ask for an 'honest opinion' if you're going to get shirty when you're given it

(32 Posts)
freddiefrog Sat 13-Oct-12 18:38:48

DH has taken up painting. He's always been arty but has gone into it more seriously now.

He's been doing some painting today and asked for my 'honest opinion' as he felt something wasn't quite right but couldn't put his finger on it

Now, I'm no art critic, but I told him that I thought it was really good but i thought a couple of things were a little out of proportion to each other, hence why it didn't look quite right.

He's now sulking.

Why bloody ask?


CrikeyOHare Sat 13-Oct-12 18:43:27


mutny Sat 13-Oct-12 18:46:41

Yanbu. I hate when people do that.

Clearly they don't want honest opinions, they want you to lie so they can convince themselves later that you 'honestly like it'. Its bollocks.
it sounds like you said it in a nice way, so tell him to get his head put of his arse and not ask in future. smile

IllageVidiot Sat 13-Oct-12 18:48:58

Oh god, yes.

Because 'it's just wonderful darling - you are the artiest, most genius like, devastatingly handsome, bedroom demon to ever wield a paintbrush' was what was echoing in his head but sadly he actually got honesty.

Tough - that goes for all blatant compliment fishers - you get what you deserve, stop it.

ikigai Sat 13-Oct-12 18:53:51

I do this grin. In my defence my family are the type to come up with an exhaustive, itemised list, often returning days later to mention something else they've 'just thought of'.

But I love constructive criticism at work - if someone compliments my work without following it up with 'but...' i feel cheated hmm

Nubbler Sat 13-Oct-12 19:08:59

Yeah but it might be this is the one problem he finds hard to remedy, having tried. Proportions are difficult. People rarely want full and frank feedback, rather a vague suggestion of an area that needs more work. I say this as a perfectionist when it comes to criticising others but who prefers tact when my stuff get commented on. Irritating I know ...

nkf Sat 13-Oct-12 19:13:12

It's a misunderstanding. He asked for your "honest opinion." You thought he meant to tell him honestly what you thought. What he meant was you should say something like, "Honestly, that picture is just amazing. So amazing it makes me want to tear off all my clothes right now and then give you the blow job of your life." See. Simple misunderstanding.

freddiefrog Sat 13-Oct-12 19:16:26

NFK grin

My mistake. I shall remember next time!

YouSmegHead Sat 13-Oct-12 19:25:25

Introduce him to aibu and you'll look like his number one fan grin

squoosh Sat 13-Oct-12 19:28:08

Well he can't be an artist without an artistic arsiness temperament.

FredFredGeorge Sat 13-Oct-12 19:31:50

Was the banana much bigger than the plums in the still life? I think men make that mistake a lot?

freddiefrog Sat 13-Oct-12 19:51:39

LOL! grin

cuttingpicassostoenails Sat 13-Oct-12 19:55:35

Oh dear, he's one of those hobby painters who need to have their egos stroked. If he was serious about his art he would not ask for feedback unless he respected the opinion of the person he was asking and was willing to take on board their comments.

If he cannot take criticism he should not ask for it. As a serious artist he would have to learn to politely ignore comments from anyone whose opinion he does not respect.

A fragile ego in anyone who wants to be an artist is a recipe for unhappiness.

CrapBag Sat 13-Oct-12 20:02:39

YANBU. I give honest opinions if asked. If you don't want the truth then don't bloody ask. If you want a lie, go to someone else.

MummytoKatie Sat 13-Oct-12 22:27:00

If someone asks for your honest opinion then they really mean they want you to lie convincingly.

freddiefrog Sat 13-Oct-12 22:30:46

I wouldn't mind, but he said himself something was a bit off.

I can't be too nice about it, he might want to hang it up in the living room smile

cheekydevil Sat 13-Oct-12 22:32:30

Sounds a bit like AIBU

fairyfriend Sat 13-Oct-12 22:32:49

Cuttingpicassostoenails- now you sound pompous. The OP's DH sounds like a nice guy!

ivykaty44 Sat 13-Oct-12 22:34:38

an aged aunt used to paint - really only because my grandmother did and painted well - she painted a beautiful owl, but it was twice as big as the tree it was sitting in smile

YouMayLogOut Sat 13-Oct-12 22:36:48


freddiefrog Sat 13-Oct-12 22:38:07

Ivykaty smile

This is a landscape - sea, fishing boat and a lighthouse, except the fishing boat is bigger than the lighthouse. The appearance depthwise isn't quite right if you see what I mean

It is really good though

ivykaty44 Sat 13-Oct-12 22:41:26

He needs to get some perspective on this wink

freddiefrog Sat 13-Oct-12 22:43:49


Nagoo Sat 13-Oct-12 22:46:50

ivykaty grin

cheekydevil Sun 14-Oct-12 05:49:57

Perhaps it was a cruise ship?

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