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To feel a bit 'well bloody hell!'

(31 Posts)
slatternlymother Sat 13-Oct-12 18:32:42

So today we went out for the day with our DS's godparents to celebrate DS's birthday, who are really good friends of ours. DS's GM and I have been friends for several years, and we all get along well.

However, my friend (godmother) tells me that she's been invited to another friend's little boy's party, so can I not tag her in any posts or photos relating to DS's birthday, or mention she's come along to any mutual friends, since she doesn't want to annoy the other friend.

I kind of feel like 'this is your Godson, surely you shouldn't feel bad about coming out with us and I'm sure the other friend would understand?'

AIBU? Am I thinking this through too much? Feeling a bit emotional anyway over DS turning 2. We have been through a bit of a time lately!

PickledFanjoCat Sat 13-Oct-12 18:36:29

Dunno if I would take it personally, it's a bit lame of her not to be honest with the other friend but ultimately she choose to spend the day with your ds.

I think I would find it a bit silly but not upsetting at all.

Hopeforever Sat 13-Oct-12 18:37:05

Sorry you have had a hard time of it lately, it's nice that your friend chose to spend the time with you over the other party.

I think she is trying to keep the peace and its understandable that she doesn't want to be tagged in any Facebook photos. I can see that might limit what you put on Facebook, but in the end, you has a nice day with her in RL and that's more important than a social networking site.

Fakebook Sat 13-Oct-12 18:37:55

YABU. Your son's godmother has a life outside being a godmother you know! She will be close to plenty of other people in her life and who she doesn't want to hurt. Just don't tag her, and try to stop being offended by this!

WinklyFriedChicken Sat 13-Oct-12 18:39:19

YABU, she obviously chose you over someone else that wanted her around and she had to make an excuse to put you first, so help make her life easier as she clearly values you.

slatternlymother Sat 13-Oct-12 18:39:52

I know she has other people in her life confused

I just wondered why she felt she couldn't tell her other friend she was coming out with us, and I worried she felt embarrassed she was coming out with us or something.

mutny Sat 13-Oct-12 18:40:51

Yabu. She should have been straight with her friend. But that's not your business.

If you were the friend posting that your friend lied to go to another party, then I could see why you would be upset.

But she came to your sons birthday and her lies are not your responsibility. So definitely yabu.

IllageVidiot Sat 13-Oct-12 18:42:50

it sounds more like she told a porkie to other friend and is now a bit [eek] about getting caught out.

However - it was more important to her to be with you and DS, she may well have been a bit of a clutz with it or had a brainfart that she now feels she can't go back on but you had a lovely day and were her priority.

Happy Birthday Minislatternly. Sorry you've had a time of it, I hope it's soon to end.

mutny Sat 13-Oct-12 18:43:24

and I worried she felt embarrassed she was coming out with us or something

You are being very unreasonable with this statement and over thinking things. More than likely she did not want her other friend to be upset that she was choosing your ds. Even if he is her godson, she may have felt bad or the friend may be easily offended or she didn't decline the invite till last minute and feels bad because she knew she couldn't go all along.

IllageVidiot Sat 13-Oct-12 18:43:56

Sorry x-post. Trying to wrestle some ballistic weetabix from feral child halfway through!

Catsdontcare Sat 13-Oct-12 18:44:53

You're taking it too personally. Maybe her friend had a few people who turned down her invite and was feeling sad about and your friend was trying to be sensitive. Point is she chose your son's birthday as her priority so no reason for you to be upset.

slatternlymother Sat 13-Oct-12 18:45:43

mutny I phrased that badly, I just suppose I felt bad she told a little white lie and in turn, I felt bad for it and the other family iyswim. But in my head, I sort of made it 'ok' by thinking 'well, she is his GM so that's a good enough excuse'.

I just felt guilty, in a roundabout sort of way.

slatternlymother Sat 13-Oct-12 18:47:17

Oh no catsdontcare I feel awful at that thought, because that's what I thought sad

I'm just ridiculously emotional atm and no reason for it at all.

If she had already accepted the party invitation and then pulled out to spend the day with you I can see where she's coming from, it could cause a lot of hurt if she was caught out in a white lie. To be honest I would always respect any request not to be tagged in FB, whatever the reason.

Onceortwice Sat 13-Oct-12 18:47:47

I asked a family member not to tag me in photos on a certain weekend.

I hadn't lied (white or any other kind) to anyone else.

Just I knew one friend was upset that I wasn't spending the time with them and would have been upset that I was there having fun with someone else.

She knew where I was, I just felt it kinder not to rub her nose in it.

Can't see the problem. Not every aspect of your life needs to be shared on FB wink

Catsdontcare Sat 13-Oct-12 18:48:00

Time to stop thinking! Just respect your friends request and all is well!

slatternlymother Sat 13-Oct-12 18:49:49

Btw can I just make it clear that I'm not going to tag her in any photos? It was never my intention to ever go back on this request.

Viviennemary Sat 13-Oct-12 18:50:38

I think your friend is just being sensitive to the feelings of the other people as she chose to spend the day with you instead of them. I don't think you've got anything to complain about really, as they are only trying not to upset anybody. But have ended up upsetting you. They can't win.

Startailoforangeandgold Sat 13-Oct-12 18:50:58

DD always chooses certain friends over the DD of a friend of mine.

I also find myself bring diplomatic on occasions. ie being economic with the truth.

Unfortunately you can't be in two places at once and I cannot make DDs best friend like my friends DD. convenient though it would be.

HappyTurquoise Sat 13-Oct-12 18:52:22

Um...Isn't there a way to switch off others seeing your friends' tags of you, so other friends (not mutual) can't see them?

RubyrooUK Sat 13-Oct-12 18:54:02

I think you are being over sensitive. You said you felt emotional about your DS being two; perhaps your friend's friend is also feeling emotional about her child's birthday.

So to avoid upsetting her other friend and turning down an invite that might be important to this person - then being seen on Facebook at ANOTHER birthday - she has told a white lie. Of course if she is godmother, it is probably a priority to go to your DS' party but she IS doing that.

So I'd just feel pleased she is being an excellent godmother and turning up for your DS' birthday. She doesn't sound at all embarrassed to go out with you; just stuck in an awkward place with two friends she doesn't want to upset/disappoint.

Catsdontcare Sat 13-Oct-12 18:54:03

Are you feeling a bit low at the minute op? I have a tendency to over think things and get myself in all a pickle over very little things when I'm down? If so I think you need to take a deep breath and assure yourself that this is not something to fret over

slatternlymother Sat 13-Oct-12 18:54:35

Maybe happyturqoise I haven't tagged her in anything though, only friends who wanted me to share the photo, and my aunt because she wanted to make it her cover photo.

Ok, thanks for the opinions, looks like I'm over thinking things a bit; it's been a long day after all!

mutny Sat 13-Oct-12 18:55:09

OP just imagine that her other friends is very entitled and pfb and would be mortally offended that your friend chose another child over hers. grin

longjane Sat 13-Oct-12 18:56:31

and i would make a note to self
that if you want godmother to come to any future parties
to remember that she has a friend that has child that has a birthday tjr same date as your child and to book her early and accept she might not be always able to make it

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