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To knock at this neighbours door to introduce myself

(24 Posts)
mumtocuddlebundle Sat 13-Oct-12 08:31:22

Please help me decide if this would be socially acceptable. I'm not sure if it would be too forward.

Neighbour who lives about 5 doors down. Have waved to each other once to say hello. I know we are both on mat leave and have 2 kids same age. There aren't many other family's in our street. And people tend to keep themselves to themselves. I think it would be nice to get to know them maybe for occasional play for older dc's. But not sure how to go about it. If I wait til next time I bump into her it could be weeks or months. So thought I might knock at door. But worried I will seem too forward and they will think of me as a pestering neighbour.

What do you think?
If I do go and introduce myself should I just say hi see you around. Or invite to house for play? I'm quite shy so this would be big thing for me to do.

financialwizard Sat 13-Oct-12 08:33:48

I would knock on the door and say what you have said here. You noticed she has children the same age and thought it might be nice to get together for a cuppa whilst they run wild play nicely together.

FolkGhoul Sat 13-Oct-12 08:34:08

You could always drop a note through her door introducing yourself and invite her round for lunch and a play.

If she waves to say hello then she sounds open to it.

Go for it!

SavoyCabbage Sat 13-Oct-12 08:34:40

I would wait until I saw them and then ask them round for a play.

I made friends with a lady on my street when I had dd2 and it was great. We became really close.

SaraBellumHertz Sat 13-Oct-12 08:34:42

Go round say hi you've noticed they've just moved in and that you have DC similar age (or whatever) and would she like to pop round Thursday morning for a coffee. Keep it short, suggest a particular time, if she can't make it say casually how about Wednesday next week - ill leave you to check your diary and let me know. Then there is no pressure.

mumtocuddlebundle Sat 13-Oct-12 08:41:37

I should say she hasn't just moved in. It's just that I only just noticed her while we are both on mat leave.
So should I leave mobile number for her to get back to me?

FolkGhoul Sat 13-Oct-12 08:49:14

I would.

FolkGhoul Sat 13-Oct-12 08:49:45

Well I wouldn't, but if I were you I would. smile

plantsitter Sat 13-Oct-12 08:51:03

Yes, DEFINITELY do it. Having someone so close with tiny kids the same age makes things about 20 x better IME.

GotMyLittleLamb Sat 13-Oct-12 08:51:49

I'm on mat leave and would be thrilled if someone popped over for a brew, everyone on my street keeps themselves to themselves too. secretly hoping you are the lady i keep waving at

Lovelygoldboots Sat 13-Oct-12 08:56:42

Do it, I was like that about lady who moved across from me. She is one of my best friends now smile

NotMostPeople Sat 13-Oct-12 09:02:36

Ten years later and a number of house moves I'm still really good friends with a woman I kept bumping into when we were both pg. I think I just started chatting to her one day in a sort of 'ohh look at us, when are you due blah blah blah'.

plutocrap Sat 13-Oct-12 10:53:01

Make the first invitation be for your house, at a specific time, which makes your overture as unthreatening as possible, in case she's as "chaotic" achousekeeper as I am (CHAOS = Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome)!


YouMayLogOut Sat 13-Oct-12 11:53:52

I'd say put a card through the door with an invitation to coffee and your phone/mobile number.

FunnysInLaJardin Sat 13-Oct-12 11:57:42

I did this in the summer, went and said hello to a family with similar aged children near to us. We live in a fairly rural area with very few families and so it seemed quite normal to go and introduce ourselves and invite the girls to our house. That was July and although DS1 popped over to theirs once since then they haven't been over here as invited, so perhaps they aren't interested! But I couldn't not have said hello, that would have been odd grin

tescocarrierbagexplosion Sat 13-Oct-12 12:26:52

When I had my little boy last year, a woman from the same block of flats told me that the people who had moved into the flat underneath mine was due to have her baby any day. I popped a note through her door, and she came up to introduce herself! She had the baby a couple of days later and now we are great friends! She babysits for me and I do the same for her! And we are forever drinking coffee together and having a great gossip! We joined some of the same baby groups together so we have a similar group of friends!! It's well worth doing!

Only downside is that this friend is a teacher at the same school as the dreaded MIL to be... So she's always getting asked about what me and my Ds are up too! She's good though she doesn't give much away!

Go for it!!

mumtocuddlebundle Sat 13-Oct-12 12:44:02

Thanks everyone. I think I will give it a go. Just need to decide whether to ring the doorbell or put a note through the door.

GreeenFingers Sat 13-Oct-12 12:52:45

I'd say ask her over for coffee. But be carefull. I've introduced myself to new neighbours and a few times they've turned out to be a nightmare. That said I'd give it a go and take things slowly at first,she might become a good friend, who knows?

mumtocuddlebundle Sat 13-Oct-12 13:08:47

You see, it must be my lack of confidence, but I feel paranoid that they see me as a nightmare. And think goodness she's a right pest and only lives down the road and we can't get rid of her! It never occurred to me that they'd be the nightmare!

GreeenFingers Sat 13-Oct-12 13:13:19

It's so easy to lose your confidence. When I had my daughter I shied away from other parents, scared they'd think I was a rubbish Mom with a grotty house.Just try saying "hello" and as kafter the children. You could suggest meeting up at the park?

surroundedbyblondes Sat 13-Oct-12 13:17:30

I'm so glad that I got to know my neighbours when I was on mat leave. They have become great friends, source of gossip and fun. We help eachother out a lot, and it was great for those long, lonely days to avoid feeling 'trapped' at home.

Our DCs (older ones and babies) often play together. Best of all we did lots of power-walking with the buggies in an attempt to get back in shape, so we motivated each other and boosted our self-esteem. Now we're all back at work and more likely meet for coffee and cake (or wine) so we're undoing all our good work, but nevermind!

ilovemyteddies Sat 13-Oct-12 14:45:59

I really like this thread, I'm always a bit too scared to do stuff like this. GO OP smile

I think note through door is better than knocking? Maybe I'm just a solitary Londoner ha ha, but I'm always a bit flummoxed by unexpected callers IN PERSON.

Just personally, if I was this neighbour, I'd love a new friend, but I'm quite private about my home life and big on "boundaries" and I think I'd be a bit scared of the prospect of someone who lived close by going "I'm going to drop by NOW" or being "nosy" about me given their proximity.

So sort of reassuring her that if you are hanging out, it will be arranged and scheduled and you won't be peering over the garden fence going "SHE TOLD ME SHE WAS OUT, BUT I CAN SEE HER" might be helpful? smile

Of course, OP, the fact that you're worried about being seen as a "nightmare" means you are 100% NOT though - most nosy nightmares lack that kind of self awareness grin Enjoy the maternity leave.

Ithinkitsjustme Sat 13-Oct-12 15:12:56

I'd knock on her door and invite her round. Otherwise you could mention that you were taking your DC's to the park and wondered if she and her children would like to join you for company. It doesn't need to a be a formal thing.

chandellina Sat 13-Oct-12 15:56:27

I would and basically have. My London neighbourhood is very friendly though.

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