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to bring my own food to a cafe?

(115 Posts)
vvviola Fri 12-Oct-12 20:53:07

You see, I think I am, but DH thinks we have extenuating circumstances.

I'm not able to have dairy or egg as I'm still breastfeeding DD2 who is allergic to both.

I find going out for coffee & cake extremely frustrating. I have yet to find a cafe that has anything I can eat. (Am in NZ, so please no lists of wonderful UK cafes that do egg & dairy free cakes! grin). Sometimes I can have a bagel with jam, if they do them, but that's about the height of it.

I always bring something for DD2 to eat. I have absolutely no issue with pulling out things for a 1 year old, especially one that is allergic to things.

DH reckons I should do the same for myself. We always buy coffee for me, coffee & cake for him, and juice and a biscuit for DD1. But I still can't envisage taking biscuits out for me too.

So, WIBU to bring something for myself to eat?

RobynRidingHood Fri 12-Oct-12 20:54:46

YABU - they aren't a shelter for the allergic to sit in. They are a business and have overheads and costs.

HorraceTheOtter Fri 12-Oct-12 20:56:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kinkyfuckery Fri 12-Oct-12 20:56:54

YABU - surely you can forgo the cake!

Woozley Fri 12-Oct-12 20:57:15

YANBU If they don't cater for you then bring your own stuff. As you say you are buying stuff there so you aren't doing them out of any business.

TalkinPeace2 Fri 12-Oct-12 20:57:27

sorry, but how is your breastfed only child allergic to something you are not
learn hunger

Woozley Fri 12-Oct-12 20:59:01

Would someone like to explain why on earth she is being unreasonable? Logically? Rather than just being bitches.

Annunziata Fri 12-Oct-12 21:01:23

I can't decide.

YABU: because I can't have one rule for one customer and one for everyone else, because it's not a sitting room, it's a cafe, etc.

YANBU: because you're buying the other stuff and presumably it's just a biscuit, not a full packed lunch. If you were a regular, I'd probably turn a blind eye (despite point number 1^) but if you weren't, I'd probably ask you to put it away.

eurowitch Fri 12-Oct-12 21:01:44

YABU. Just have coffee.

Woozley I have been dairy intolerant for years. I have never felt the need to take my own snacks to cafes and restaurants. If I can't find something I can eat, as a grown adult I find I am able to manage until I leave the cafe. It's really not that difficult. A cafe/restaurant is a business. If I don't want to buy things from it, I shouldn't take up its seating.

iwouldgoouttonight Fri 12-Oct-12 21:03:00

YANBU. I am coeliac and I take my own food into cafes. I wouldn't do it if it was just me or just me and one other person, but if there are a group of us and everyone else is having cake or a lunch I bring my own food to eat. I sometimes ask first but if they have nothing I can eat then either I eat my own food or we will all go elsewhere and they will have lost our business.

Woozley Fri 12-Oct-12 21:03:34

Well if I ran a cafe I wouldn't mind. I'd rather have the extra custom and money.

kilmuir Fri 12-Oct-12 21:04:55

YANBU as you are buying other stuff.

HorraceTheOtter Fri 12-Oct-12 21:05:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Annunziata Fri 12-Oct-12 21:06:08

OP, if you do do it, please please please take your own rubbish away, makes my blood boil when people eat 'outside' food plus leave it to me to clean up.

MummytoKatie Fri 12-Oct-12 21:06:12

A bloke I worked with was Jewish and was very strict on what he could eat. We were going out for a team lunch and phoned the restaurant who said that as he would be coming with 7 other paying people they were happy for him to sit with us and eat his packed lunch.

It helped that they were seriously not busy so our table-for-8-paid-for-7 probably doubled their lunchtime trade. He did pay a tip as though he had eaten btw.

AnnaLiza Fri 12-Oct-12 21:06:52

There's nothing wrong with bringing some food from home if you have a valid reason and if you're still buying a drink from the restaurant.
People are just being horrible for ok reason.

MummytoKatie Fri 12-Oct-12 21:07:26

Anyway my point is - phone and ask!

It probably depends if they are busy.

SirBoobAlot Fri 12-Oct-12 21:07:33

Talkinpeace - ummm because allergies are not necessarily genetic, and whatever a breastfeeding mother eats passes through her milk? confused biscuit

OP I don't think you're being unreasonable. You've said you get something off the menu when its available. If you're buying a coffee from them, then you're still providing them with business, and if staff ask you explain why. If they kick up a fuss, you don't return. Simples smile

Noqontrol Fri 12-Oct-12 21:07:36

No I don't think you are unreasonable as long as you are buying other stuff as well.

WorraLiberty Fri 12-Oct-12 21:11:40

It doesn't matter what anyone here thinks

It only matters what the cafe owner thinks.

littleducks Fri 12-Oct-12 21:11:59

I think you should go equipped with biscuits in your handbag. Ask at till if any of their cakes are suitable for your allergy requirements if they 'yes' then buy it if the inevitably say 'sorry no' then I can't see the harm in you eating your packed biscuit with your coffee.

DontmindifIdo Fri 12-Oct-12 21:12:17

YABU - they aren't providing a public service, they are a business, if everyone did this, they would go out of business. If you want to all eat and drink together, get takeaway coffee and go have it on a park bench with your own from home food.

It might be worth calling cafes and saying "I can't eat dairy or eggs, can you cater for me?" they might not have thought to provide options.

SamSmalaidh Fri 12-Oct-12 21:13:11

TalkinPeace2 - do you think children are only allergic to things if their mothers' are? confused

Pagwatch Fri 12-Oct-12 21:15:53

I have to take ds1 out and he can't eat much. I find that if I order for me, order for dd and then get a drink for ds2 whilst saying 'do you mind if ds has this gluten free cake/ biscuit/whatever while we have our thing?' they always say 'no problem'

AmazingBouncingFerret Fri 12-Oct-12 21:16:16

So you're going in buying coffee for you, coffee and cake for you DH and juice and biscuit for your DC.

Either you go without or you scoff your own biscuit brought from home.

All these people saying overheads business etc what difference does it make? She's not subsituting something shop bought for homemade. The cafe is not losing anything.

Having to deal with allergies is hard. And having to abstain from something you've never given a second thought to because of the risk of passing it on via breastmilk is really tough. The odd biscuit or muffin is not going to make the cafe go out of business.


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